Wednesday, June 26, 2013

THE TOP 13 HORROR MOVIE MONOLOGUES

This isn't on the list, but it deserves mention. Yay, Jack!
Throughout my collegiate career as a Theatre major, I was forced to perform and memorize more monologues than I thought was humanly possible.  In a world full of shortened textspeak and quick paced dialogue, the long winded monologue isn't utilized nearly as much as it once was.  Despite popular belief, monologues aren't exclusive to Shakespearean tragedies.  In fact, horror movies have provided us with some of best monologues in cinematic history.  There's something unnerving about listening to someone talk for long periods of time in a movie that at any moment could jump in our face and make us pee the seat.  Some monologues are meant to terrify, some are meant to make us laugh, some set the tone, and others tell us the truth all along.

(NOTE: some of the monologues contain spoilers about the film, but if you haven't seen these films by now, you are bad and you should feel bad. If you see a photo of a film you haven't seen, scroll past it. You've been warned.) 


13)"Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny?" -SE7EN
Kevin Spacey, you are one creepy bastard.  Se7en was the film that proved the terrors of real life are just as horrific as the fictional.  Crossing the line from crime thriller to bonafide horror film, Kevin Spacey's "John Doe" put his Academy Award winning acting chops to work with his confession (and defense) to his crimes.  John Doe is a psychologists wet dream, but this confession speech let us all peer into the psychotic mind of a serial killer who finds his actions completely justified.


12)"Have you never wanted to do anything that was dangerous?" - FRANKENSTEIN
Henry Frankenstein was already off his rocker with his desire to reanimate the dead, but this God complex ridden scientist was not only proud of his life's work, but rather defensive.  After Waldman tells Dr. Frankenstein that his creature will prove dangerous, the good doctor quickly retorts with a monologue explaining the method to his madness.  More importantly, it's the moment that we realize Henry Frankenstein has completely lost his touch with reality. Call him crazy all you want, at this point of the film, Dr. Frankenstein is fresh out of fucks to give.


11)"His name was Jason." - FRIDAY THE 13TH
It has been said that nothing compares to the love a mother has for her child, and Pamela Voorhees loved her son more than any other cable knitted sweater wearing mother ever has.  Friday the 13th is synonymous with the hockey mask wearing Jason Voorhees, but the original villain of the freshman installment of the franchise was Jason's darling Mommy Dearest.  The manic monologue delivered expressed not only her sheer insanity, but the unconditional love only a mother could possess.


10)"My name is Ash, and I'm a slave."-ARMY OF DARKNESS
Praised for his iconic one-liner delivery, some forget that Ashley J. Williams is also one hell of a storyteller. After the events of Evil Dead I & II we needed a quick recap to catch up with our favorite boomstick wielding hero.  I could have very well chosen the boomstick monologue, but because that monologue is known more for the initial line, I wanted to shed light on the more unappreciated of the two.  Shop smart, shop S-Mart.

 09) "I'm so scared." -THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT
It was the snot bubble heard round the world.  Before it became the central focus of many parody skits in films, The Blair Witch Project was a horrifying found footage film that had audiences genuinely convinced that they were watching the real deal.  What could be argued as one of the best showcases of a viral marketing campaign, this heartbroken confession of a filmmaker realizing she's gotten in too deep with her project was the pivotal moment where we genuinely became concerned about these people.  For me, it's when she starts apologizing to the parents of her film crew. That moment breaks my heart and forces me to become emotionally invested. Snot bubbles and all.

08)"I've killed a lot of people!"-AMERICAN PSYCHO
Christian Bale's Patrick Bateman is one of my favorite characters in horror history, and with good reason.  Straying away from typical horror movie formula, Bale actually delivers a lot of incredible monologues throughout the film.  The opening sequence of his daily routine, the inner monologue about business cards, his love of Phil Collins and Genesis, his explanation as to why "Hip to be Square" is so catchy, are all memorable and quoteworthy.  However, it is when Patrick Bateman calls his lawyer that we truly understand just how insane (and talented) he really is. In complete hysterics, Bateman's emotional shifts from panic, sorrow, remorse, hatred, disgust, worry, and an eerie sense of calm.  Every single moment in this monologue is sheer brilliance.
07)"The devil's eyes." - HALLOWEEN
The fact that when I google "Dr. Loomis," Malcolm McDowell shows up first should be illegal in the lawbooks of the Internet.  Don't get me wrong, I love me some Malcolm McDowell, but Donald Pleasence IS Dr. Loomis.  When Michael Myers first haunted the psyche of every girl that ever babysat, there were questions about who this white-masked, silent killer was all about.  Dr. Loomis introduced us to the inhuman monster that is Michael Myers.  The strength in his words and the look in his eye while he recalls the horrific interactions he shared with The Shape is conviction in its truest form.


06)"I'm here to destroy them."-NIGHTBREED
Dr. Decker's speech perfectly embodies the necessity to kill. Not the desire, the perverted justification of ritual, but the cold, hard truth of necessity. Life is wasted, squandered by those that simply do little more than procreate because they can. Decker's Zipperface exists to remind the exponentially expanding virus of humanity that there is always something in the darkness to keep the balance, to force the hand of death when the Grim Reaper's scythe grows heavy. Killing isn't a ritual, it's a duty, a service to mankind. How could anyone possibly question the motives of these actions? Oh, that's right. He's batshit insane and like stabbing people. Still an amazing speech though.


05)"They were screaming." -THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
Jodie. Foster. There's a reason this film won the big five with the Academy, and the epic "silence of the lambs" monologue given from Jodie Foster recalling her childhood after having the memories pulled out of her through the persuasion of Dr. Hannibal Lecter has a lot to do with the results.  Playing opposite a man who won Best Actor for a performance with the same amount of screen time as an episode of Adventure Time, Jodie Foster is absolutely captivating.  You can almost feel the pain leave her lips and spread into your body with every heartbreaking word.

04)"It's gonna be all my fault. - FROZEN
 When we die, we leave behind absolutely everything we have.  In the wake of our passing, we must realize that forever alone will be our material possessions, our loved ones, our friends...and our pets.  Considering we're a society that will walk out of a theater if a dog dies before we'll riot over a man getting eaten by wolves, it's safe to say that we're entirely consumed with our furry friends. I'll admit it, I totally am. I love my Napoleon complex having dog and wouldn't change him for the world.  The fact of the matter is, pets are a major part of our lives and the "dog monologue" from Frozen is one of the most brilliantly written (and performed) monologues addressing that issue. This monologue completely nails what would happen to a dog had the owner died somewhere out of the house, and I become immediately depressed every time I hear it. I would have ranked this a lot higher, because it's easily my second favorite horror movie monologue of all time, but I tried to make this list as subjective as possible.


03)"She wouldn't even harm a fly."-PSYCHO
If you even need a reason why this monologue is on this list, you can kick rocks. Norman Bates (played by the incredible Anthony Perkins) doesn't say a single word throughout this entire scene, but rather, is narrated by the voice of "Mother."  As unsettling as her words are, watching Norman look around the room and finally into the camera is the perfection combination to make your skin crawl off of your skeleton and run for the hills.


02)"I'll never put on a life jacket again." - JAWS
Sometimes, an actor knows his character better than a writer ever could. This famous monologue was re-written and performed by Robert Shaw.  As Quint tells his "origin story," so to speak, the tragic truth behind his burning hatred for sharks is revealed through recalling graphic imagery. The entire film is centered around a man-eating shark, but Bruce's fear doesn't come close to the horrific story as told by Quint.

01) "The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas" -GREMLINS
Oh, yes. I went there.  Santa Claus is a universal symbol of joy for almost all children, but the sickos behind Gremlins managed to turn one of the happiest fictional characters into a tragedy even Lifetime wouldn't make a movie out of.  What I always loved about this monologue was not only the content, but the fact Phoebe Cates delivers it so matter-of-factly.  Something tragic happened to her, but she doesn't break down and cry or start throwing a tantrum, she tells it as if she was giving her lunch order to an intern.  The pacing developed from the intentional wording makes the monologue somewhat hard to predict with its irregular rhythm, which keeps audiences feeling unsettled and unsure of what will come after it.  This damn monologue is without a doubt the greatest monologue of horror movie history.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

THRILL KILL: SEVEN MINUTES OF FAST PACED, THRILLING, SEX ON WHEELS.


The Studio on Mars is no stranger to Day of the Woman, but the small independent film company out of Cleveland, Ohio has officially earned the rights to wear their big boy pants with their short film, THRILL KILL.  The directorial debut of Zach Shildwachter, THRILL KILL is a seven minute short that feels like a cross between the opening sequence of Resevoir Dogs sprinkled with some of the perverted villains from episodes of Criminal Minds.  Vulgar, sexy, loud, bloody, and creepy, THRILL KILL is one of the most fun I've had watching a short film in a very long time. Shot in four hours on a budget of only $130 dollars, THRILL KILL's cinematography rivals anything a big budget can crank out. This. Film. Is. Pretty.  This film cost less than a PS3 to make, but it doesn't show.  I seriously cannot wrap my head around how it is humanly possible to make something that beautiful for that cheap.


J Buckner stars as the masked man driving away from what appears to be a heist gone wrong with a dying, beautiful woman riding passenger of a gorgeous '77 Mustang. Buckner (the director and star of Studio on Mars' freshman piece, I AM ALIVE) does most of the talking and may have a future in playing men that give me the grade-A creeps.  However, it's the sharp left turn delivered by actress Agata Stasiak that kept me drawn in.  How someone manages to be furiously sexy and muster some funny one-liners at the same time is really impressive.  The two have very awkward chemistry, but it works exactly the way Shildwachter wants it to.  Watching them is uncomfortable, and for one particular moment, sort of unsettling to watch, but I couldn't imagine it being any other way. THRILL KILL pays homage to a multitude of film genres, and Shildwachter respectfully showcases his inspirations through his camera work and visual design.



The only major complaint I have is an overabundance of the f-bomb. In Buckner's minute and a half long opening monologue, there's 31 uses of the word "fuck," "fucking" or "motherfucker."  It feels a bit trying, and pulls away some of the intensity of the opening sequence.  How much of that came from writing v. how much came from the actor is something I do not know, but it is luckily only 1:30minutes of the film.  Once the monologue ends and the real story picks up, THRILL KILL quickly becomes one hell of a ride.

Shildwachter's piece may not be picture perfect, but it's incredibly strong directorial debut.  Beautiful camera work, a keen eye for detail, and an attention-span friendly style all combine to showcase his potential to do something much bigger and better.  Fortunately for us, the folks at The Studio on Mars released THRILL KILL today, for free, online.  Check it out below!

THRILL KILL from The Studio on Mars on Vimeo.

Friday, June 21, 2013

GET PREPARED FOR HALLOWEEN WITH WOOCHIE MAKEUP KITS AVAILABLE FROM WHOLESALEHALLOWEENCOSTUMES.COM

Today may be the first day of Summer, but it's never too early to prepare for the haunting season. Woochie has released a set of makeup kits geared towards zombies for this year, and I was lucky enough to try them out.  For a makeup kit, I found the supplies to be very user friendly and even more cost effective.  For those just starting out with makeup kits and unsure of where to begin, WholeSaleHalloweenCostumes.com has composed this handy tutorial to help assist you with your Zombie Bullet Wound needs!


Zombie Makeup - Bloody Bullet Wounds

Thursday, June 20, 2013

THE INTERACTIONS OF WOMEN IN HORROR: HOW A TROLL OPENED MY EYES TO THE FEMALE FANDOM

Yes, this is me at 13 working in a haunted house.

This is going to be a long one, so please, bear with me.

Being a horror fan has never been easy, regardless of gender.  We're often confused as Satanists, or assumed to have demented fantasies about killing other people.  When a kid shoots up a school, they don't blame their mental health stability, they blame the influence of violent forms of media.  Horror is used as a scapegoat to explain away the problems in society, when in retrospect, the horror community is filled with some of the most generous and giving individuals known to man.  Often viewed as a "guys' genre," the all-boys club of horror has put up these strange barriers in regards to the way it treats women.  Many horror films are inherently misogynist (V/H/S/ anyone?) and the most classic of horror movie formulas are centered around the fact women are the "weaker" of the sexes.  In the last few years, women have been bonding together with things like Women In Horror Recognition month in an attempt to give light to the overshadowed women working in the industry.  It's an amazing thing to see female horror fans working together, because there are many more of us than people seem to understand.  However, the fight against female horror fans isn't completely in the hands of men.  No. We women are just as guilty of spreading hatred towards women, and it's time we change that.

For those that follow me on twitter, you may have seen random tweets geared towards some disgusting comments that have been left on my blog.  For a long time, I was forced to put comment moderation (and even get rid of the option to post anonymously) because the things said to me and about me were downright disturbing.  I was sexually harassed, slut-shamed, body-shamed, told I was deserving of rape, and called every derogatory term for "woman" that one could imagine.  I honestly think urbandictionary could have an entire sub-page dedicated for the terminology used against me.  I had someone "catfish" on okcupid using my name, website, and photos.  I received threatening and derogatory emails daily that resembled the prank phone calls of Serial Mom.  For the past two years, I've been weary to write anything because the harassment was getting so severe I wasn't sure I could handle it.  All I kept asking was "why?"  Why don't my male counterparts get this sort of harassment? Why is everyone telling me to "buck up" when I'm getting constant harassment by the hour, even when I hadn't written in over two weeks?  Why were these people spending so much time trying to break me down?  Today, I got my answer.

Rebekah McKendry of FANGORIA
I received an email today from a throwaway account and signed by an anonymous sender.  I will spare the full details of e-mail because I don't believe it would be right to post it in its entirety.  The person in question has been seeking a great deal of therapy and it was at the request of her therapist that this person send me an apology and an explanation for their actions.  This person went in great detail describing how after losing their job, they wanted to start writing about horror online because "women don't write about horror, and I want to be the first."  She soon discovered people like Jovanka Vuckovic, Rebekah McKendry, Lianne Spiderbaby...and me.  In her words, "I was crushed to find out that I wasn't the only one, that what I thought made me special my entire life didn't make me special. There were lots of girls talking about horror, and they were talking about it better than I ever could."  It is because of this realization, that this woman began to fill with hatred.  "Those other girls were too big, too important for me to get under their skin, but you were just a blogger. I wanted you to hurt the way I hurt.  No one ever understood me. No one ever accepted my being a woman and loving horror. It wasn't fair. I knew you didn't have high-tech filters to weed out my comments, and I wanted you to know what it feels like to be hated just for being who you are."  I was shocked.  Absolutely shocked. This woman went on to explain that her hatred of me began to grow because so many people enjoyed what I wrote about, and as a woman in horror, I shouldn't get that.  She believed that because she had been treated poorly and bullied for liking horror movies and being a girl, that all of us should have to endure the same form of treatment.  After a lengthy confession of how many email accounts she made just to comment my blogs and that she would take vulgar youtube comments off of popular videos for inspiration, she began to discuss my appearance.

This woman in question is, in her words, "a fucking lady C.H.U.D. undeserving of any sort of compassion."  This right away shows me that this woman has serious self esteem issues that I cannot help with, but she used it against me.  "Why do you get to be beautiful?  The only thing I have in my back pocket to use to possibly allure men with is my horror knowledge, and now beautiful women like you are doing the same? It's just not fair. You can't be both."  At this point, my heart began to break. This sort of mindset is something that I knew men used against women (ie: beautiful cosplayers are 'fake geek girls') but I never really sat down to think about the way women interact with each other on a basis of appearance.  She even admitted to being the one who made the fake account on okCupid using my credentials.  She only deleted it once she saw on twitter that I had been informed of the fake account, but she had "cyber sex" with many men pretending to be me.  Sorry to those out there that were duped, but it wasn't me.  I've been grateful to have a core group of fellow women in horror that don't image-shame each other, but this woman opened my eyes to something today that doesn't get talked about nearly enough.

A still from the documentary FANTASM
Women are just as guilty as men for judging other women for being horror fans.  I've seen it first hand, but because our struggle against men is so deep, we pretend the struggle within our own gender doesn't exist.  Obviously the woman above is a very, very, VERY extreme example of hatred for fellow woman, but she really showed me the fall out of the slippery slope that is hating on women in horror.  Let me say this loud and clear, THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO BE A HORROR FAN.  I don't care if you know the amount of freckles on Stephen King's ass or if the only horror you've ever seen was in a Regal Theater and released by Anchor Bay.  I don't care if you have met every zombie of Night of the Living Dead and have them on speed dial or get George A. Romero confused with Stan Lee.  I don't care if you look like Miss America or the Brenda Monster in Slither. Everyone has to have a starting point, and horror fandom is not exclusive for a certain TYPE of person.  There is no measurement on passion.  If you like horror, even in the slightest bit, you're invited to the party.  If there is one thing the horror community has shown me over the years, it's that we are an equal opportunity fandom.  We as women are already the ones looked down upon, so why would we judge each other?  I hate to quote Mean Girls, but "we gotta stop calling each other 'sluts' and 'whores' it just makes it okay for guys to call us 'sluts' and 'whores.'"  How are we ever going to get out of the proverbial hole at the bottom of Buffalo Bill's basement if we're continuing to push and pull each other down?  It's a cycle that needs to end, now.

Friday, June 14, 2013

WOMAN OF THE WEEK: SARAH ELBERT

In celebration of "Hatchet Day," the release of Hatchet III, it was only fitting to crown producer/writer/director/actor, Sarah Elbert as the Woman of the Week.  The folks on the production end of films tend to fly under the radar, but Sarah Elbert deserves the utmost praise and promotion for her work.  Sarah Elbert played a major role in helping Adam Green and company bring life to Victor Crowley, and spark one of the most successful independent horror franchises in recent history.  In a recent interview with Dread Central, Will Barratt said of Elbert, "I think Sarah had the imagination there. When we shot the mock trailer, she saw no reason why this little movie wouldn't be a huge blockbuster hit. I think she believed in it even more than me or Adam! Adam and I were just happy to be shooting the trailer, with the hopes of someday shooting the feature." To put it simply, the Hatchet franchise may not be where it is today had it not been for Sarah Elbert.  Sarah Elbert has produced all three of the Hatchet films as well as Holliston, YouCube, and a series of shorts focusing on Charlotte's Web and stalking situations a la Misery.  Sarah Elbert is an incredible asset to the genre and an inspiration to women.

Sarah Elbert talking at Chicago Fear Fest

It feels a little sad that in 2013, I still have to draw attention to people simply for being women, but the fact that Sarah Elbert has not only successfully invaded the "boy's club" of horror as something other than an actress is a pretty huge deal.  Sarah Elbert didn't get to where she is because she's a woman, but because she's a damn good producer with a strong eye for the future success of projects.  I'll admit my ignorance in that it wasn't until Holliston that I realized who this incredible woman was.  For fans of the show, you may know her as "Sarah the waitress" (and she's also got a cameo in the first Hatchet as "vomiting girl") I thought her performance as "Sarah the waitress" was pretty hilarious (and I would punch a baby for that damn sailor dress) but after a little IMDB stalking, I found her impressive credits and was totally blown away.  If I could be so blunt, Sarah Elbert is who I want to be when I grow up.



For more information on Sarah Elbert visit:

SARAH ELBERT'S OFFICAL WEBSITE

or

SARAH ELBERT'S IMDB PAGE





Watch a video of Sarah Elbert talking Hatchet below

DO HORROR MOVIES STILL HAVE TO BE FRIGHTENING?

Monday, June 10, 2013

AND THE PURGE GIVEAWAY WINNER IS...



Sam Rogers!
Sam's survival plan for The Purge?

Steal a big military truck, find a flamethrower, race around the city running over anybody trying to kill me, lead them all to the forest (with a minute or so to spare) and set the other side of the forest on fire as they all chase towards me, running aimlessly to their imminent fiery fall from power. Thank you.

Way to go, Sam! Here's hoping this never becomes a real thing and if so, I won't be running near fire. Your prize will arrive in the mail!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

INCEPTION MEDIA GROUP PRESENTS: BATTLE EARTH, A HAUNTING AT SILVER FALLS, AND STRIPPED

The folks over at Inception Media Group released a grab-bag of geek genre goodness this past May, and I've finally gotten around to tackling the three films they've presented.  I eagerly awaited the sci-fi adventure Battle Earth, familiar looking ghost story, A Haunting at Silver Falls, and the promise of thrilling horror with Stripped.  Shortly after these DVDs arrived in my mailbox, a beautiful thing called "finals week during my last semester of college" reared its ugly head and these DVDs were pushed to the back burner in place of Adderall and Red Bull.  I have decided to review these films as a group, because they arrived together and were all watched in the same sitting.  My mood was greatly affected by the completion of each film, and some residual emotions trickled down into the next film.  Normally, I wouldn't condone this sort of behavior, but I highly doubt these films were going to have a vast improvement upon further views.

Battle Earth was the first on the chopping block.  I'll admit, looking at this cover got me a lot more excited than it should have.  One of my earliest memories of science-fiction movies was watching Independence Day at the drive-in with my mother. (I was born in 1990. Get off it.) The alien space ship on this cover immediately brought back some nostalgic feelings of my childhood.  I got sucked into the hype, and was immediately kicked out of it.  This movie was a bigger disappointment than the similarly named Battlefield Earth.  Wanna know why? There's no battle. Zilch. Nada. Nope. This film was nothing more than a couple of Canadian soldiers dicking around in a forest talking about shit. That's it. There's some weird "Holy crap, now we're running and the camera suddenly turns into Cloverfield" moments that does nothing more than muddy up the dialogue and give me a headache.  The CGI looks better in most SyFy made-for-TV movies, and the alien (yes, there is only ONE alien in the entire movie) looks like a bastard rip-off of a Cthulhu & District 9-esque Halloween costume.  I keep mentioning other films in this review, because Battle Earth is nothing more than a re-hashing of every sci-fi trope ever thrown in an invasion film.  Hell, I was waiting for Slim Whitman's "Indian Love Call," to play just to ensure EVERY alien invasion movie was ripped off at some point.  This movie may take the crown for the most misleading cover art in the history of cinema, and I would bet my college tuition loans that I'm not the only one completely duped by this cover art.  It should be punishable by law to have such a misleading cover for such a boring movie.  Honestly? This doesn't even deserve to call itself a movie, I've seen more intense fights on a playground and better camera work from my drunken relatives at family reunions.  I could have examined my belly button for an hour and whatever minutes and done more for cinema than this piece of garbage. Ultimately, this was an incredibly boring movie that I wouldn't even re-gift to someone as a White Elephant present.

Hoping to cleanse the palate left from the turd sandwich of Battle Earth, I turned to the ghost movie A Haunting at Silver Falls.  Apparently inspired by true events, (but aren't all ghost movies at this point?) A Haunting at Silver Falls feels like every single ghost story your older sister told you when you were a kid to give you nightmares.  Surprisingly, this movie wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Sure, the story is a bit simplistic and the scare factor is only appealing to a younger audience, but I actually might keep this one around as a gateway horror flick for the little ones in my life.  It really does feel like badly written creepypasta, but the film itself looks quite lovely and is pretty well cast.  The story follows a girl who has moved in with her sister after the death of their father, and finds herself being followed by the ghostly presence of a young girl (that screams like something out of a scary maze game.)  There's the typical 'scary twin' factor going on, but the acting is actually pretty solid.  Despite a laughably unoriginal storyline, the film was excellently crafted without ever relying on cheap camera techniques or shock factors.  I'd be really excited to see what the director, Brett Donowho, would do with a more original script.  The biggest pitfall the film has is its horrendously cheesy ending.  Oh my god. I've seen fanfics off junior high livejournal accounts with better endings than this film.  The film isn't altogether bad, but it's nowhere near strong enough to survive the ending.  It's a sad day when the final 20 minutes of a film can completely destroy the first 60, but the ending is just that bad.  I'm not sure I'd willingly ever recommend this film to any avid horror fanatics, but it definitely could serve a purpose reeling in some "safe scares" for horror newbies.

Did you ever think to yourself, "Gee, Hostel III was such a good film, I'd totally like to see an exact replica of it with 1/8th the budget and without the ability to focus on one camera style?"  If you answered "Yes" to the previous question, have I got a movie for you!  If someone with dissociative identity disorder decided to remake Hostel III, you'd get Stripped.  For a director that was recently nominated for the ASC's Best Cinematographer award, it's mind-blowing for a film to be so poorly executed.  All of the found-footage scenes feel thrown together as nothing more than filler, and it doesn't really add anything to the storyline itself.   It's a bit coincidental that the last time I did a "three-movies-in-one-sitting" marathon it ended with a bunch of bros in Vegas getting their innards played with like a preschooler discovering play-doh.  Actually, that's an unfair comparison because at least Hostel III gave us pay-off.  The characters in J.M.R. Luna's Stripped are so unlikable, I spent the 95% of the movie just waiting for them to die.  I bitch a lot about actors that seem to be nothing more than pretty faces that want attention, and this film's entire cast is nothing but that type.  It was painful to watch, not because of the subject matter, but because of how mind-numbingly annoying every single character was in this god forsaken movie.  Don't waste your money, don't waste your time, I can't believe I'm even saying this, but you'd be far more satisfied watching Hostel III.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

THE PURGE IS COMING: GET PREPARED WITH A PRIZE PACK GIVEAWAY

We're just three short days away from the release of one of the most anticipated films of the year.  James DeMonaco's The Purge takes a terrifying look at a future America and seems to be a character study of just how horrific humanity can become if rules are allowed to be broken.  Appearing like the lovechild of The Strangers, Pleasantville,and Lord of the Flies, The Purge asks if you can survive the night.  The Purge recently launched an app that includes a quiz that can help determine whether or not you or your friends could survive the night, as well as allowing you access to all things Purge throughout different social media platforms.  As well as the launch of the app, Day of the Woman was selected to participate in a giveaway to help promote the new film! Click the image to the left to get a peek at the app and then download it to your mobile devices.



The winner of the giveaway will win an official t-shirt and a promotional mask.  So you've gotta be asking yourself, how do I enter and win these free swag?  It's simple, my darlings!

In order to enter, all you have to do is comment below with your survival strategy on a night where all crime is legal.  What would you do to survive?  Create a hypothetical plan and give me the gritty details on what you would do to prepare yourself for survival.  Be sure to include your e-mail address in the comment and if you are selected as the winner, I will e-mail you asking for your address.

For an additional entry, tweet on June 7th, 2013 with the hashtags #SurviveTheNight and #ThePurge along with mentioning my twitter handle @brittnahjade to nab yourself an extra chance. For example: "I entered a #ThePurge giveaway with @brittnahjade to #SurviveTheNight bit.ly/13jONM0"




You've only got a few days to enter, so get on it, and the government thanks you for your participation.
This giveaway is open to US residents only. 'Murica. Sorry.


VISCERA ANNOUNCES ITS 2013 FESTIVAL LINE UP

 In 2007, Shannon Lark created the Viscera Film Festival as a means to encourage the work of female horror filmmakers and give them a place to thrive.  Growing each year, they have now been established as a 501(c)3 non-profit organization.  What started out as a touring festival, Viscera is now an annual Los Angeles genre extravaganza complete with a "Bloody Carpet" ceremony.  This year  features an an incredible line up and the presentation of the "Inspiration Award" to filmmaker Jennifer Lynch, known for her works like Boxing Helena, Surveillance, Hisss, and Chained.  The Viscera Film Festival is one of the largest jumping off points for many female filmmakers in horror, and it continues to prove that yes, there are women horror directors making good films. 
Below is more information from the official press release.



VISCERA ANNOUNCES ITS 2013 FILM FESTIVAL LINE-UP
CO-PRESENTED BY AMERICAN CINEMATHEQUE
Filmmaker Jennifer Lynch to Receive 2013 Inspiration Award at Ceremony on July 13th

Los Angeles, CA – June 3rd, 2013 -- Today, the Viscera Organization announced the stellar line-up of 13 brand new short films that have been selected to screen on July 13, 2013 in a co-presentation with the American Cinematheque at the Egyptian Theatre (6712 Hollywood Boulevard) in Hollywood for this year's Viscera Film Festival. The festival’s gala celebration will spotlight emerging female horror directors from around the world, including the UK, Japan, Spain, Mexico, Canada, and the US and will serve as host to four world premieres and two Los Angeles premieres.
This year’s Viscera Film Festival line-up was carefully selected by an esteemed panel of industry judges who had the difficult task of selecting winners from the record-breaking number of entries for the 2013 festival and tour season, ultimately proving that innovative and dynamic short-form storytelling is still alive and well within the horror community.
"This year we had over 200 amazing entries,” says programmer Heidi Honeycutt. “It was mind-blowing. So many new filmmakers are taking a crack at horror and making some truly unique and amazing films. Unfortunately, we can only program about a dozen shorts, so we have to turn away a lot of great films. It's incredibly heartening to see so many new women making horror films and so much enthusiasm and dedication. The 2013 lineup is truly the best we have ever had and I can't wait to show our audiences what women are making these days. They are going to be shocked at how good these films are!"

This year’s panel of judges for the prestigious 2013 Viscera Film Festival includes Rachel Talalay (FREDDY’S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE), Jeffrey Reddick (FINAL DESTINATION series), Amber Benson (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”), Trent Haaga (CHEAP THRILLS), Anthony Masi (HIS NAME WAS JASON), Brea Grant (“Dexter”), Andrew van den Houten (Lucky McKee’s THE WOMAN), Elizabeth Stanley (TRAILERS FROM HELL), Anthony DiBlasi (DREAD), Shade Rupe (“Dark Stars Rising”), Jim VanBebber (THE MANSON FAMILY), Drew Daywalt (LEPRECHAUN’S REVENGE), Kier-La Janisse (“House of Psychotic Women”), Chris Alexander (BLOOD FOR IRINA), John Skipp (legendary splatterpunk author), David DeCoteau (SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA), Alan Spencer (SLEDGEHAMMER), Barbara Peeters (HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP), Jennifer Thym (Viscera Winner 2012, Best Cinematography for BLOODTRAFFICK) and Mae Catt (Viscera Winner 2011, Best Director  for 12-15-96).
Also serving as a judge this year is pioneering female filmmaker Jennifer Lynch (CHAINED, SURVEILLANCE) who will receive the 2013 Inspiration Award during the festival on July 13th.
Barbara Stepansky, the Viscera Organization’s newly named Chief Operations Officer says, "I'm thrilled to have joined the Viscera Organization as the new COO. I've been a part of the festival in the past as a filmmaker, and it’s an honor to now be a part of the organization as a key staff member. I’m really looking forward to the 2013 festival, we have a fantastic line-up and it’s really exciting to see how rapidly Viscera is expanding in its ways of supporting our genre fans and filmmakers alike.”
Those that attend Viscera Film Festival will experience films created by many of the most original and dynamic voices in independent filmmaking today as well as a star-studded carpet ceremony (www.facebook.com/events/553487211357304) and an after party (www.facebook.com/events/453050628119448) to be held directly following the festival at the legendary Hollywood hot spot and VFF sponsor, Cat & Fiddle (6530 W Sunset Blvd.). For those interested, they may return to the scene of the VFF after party for a special "recovery" brunch where fans and filmmakers alike are encouraged to come out, drink some coffee and work off those hangovers together at the Cat & Fiddle on Sunday at 11 am (www.facebook.com/events/181999185291813).

The Viscera Film Festival will also be kicking off an international tour for the selected short films as well as a handful of tour selections that aren’t screening at the premiere event. This past year, the Viscera Tour landed at over 20 venues around the world ranging from independent movie houses to universities, screening an eclectic program of shorts that have been curated by the Viscera Organization since 2007. The tour provides an outlet for up-and-coming female filmmakers around the world to have their work shown on the big screen and to industry professionals.

"This year's incredible line-up proves, yet again, that women are equal to men in every facet of storytelling, particularly in horror,” said Lori Bowen, Viscera’s Director of Operations. “It's so wonderful to see so many women at the helm, putting their stories up on the screen and sharing their unique visions with the rest of the world. I'm honored to be a small part of the Viscera Organization's hugely important mission to help get their voices heard."
The 2013 Viscera Film Festival Official Selections:
Anniversary Dinner - USA
Directed by Jessi Gotta
Synopsis: A survivor of the zombie apocalypse is about to discover that 'Til Death Do Us Part' was just the beginning.
Dead Crossing - LOS ANGELES PREMIERE - Canada/Mexico
Directed by Gigi Saul Guerrero
Synopsis: A Mexican family attempting to cross the border with a group of immigrants encounter a vicious and terrifying secret involving the way the United States deals with illegal immigration.

Eternal Springs - WORLD PREMIERE - USA
Directed by Kate Rhamey, Allison Rohm
Synopsis: Erma, a deranged old woman who thinks she's eleven years old, captures young women to be her dolls.

Halloween Bash - WORLD PREMIERE - USA
Directed by Jenn Wexler
Synopsis: A mean girl bent on playing tricks receives a mysterious Halloween treat.

In the Dark - USA
Directed by Helen Truong
Synopsis: As the only survivor of a psychological experiment that killed her fellow participants, a woman must find the courage to face a terrifying truth -- one that will finally set her free or trap her forever.

My Brother’s Keeper - UK
Directed by Jen Moss
Synopsis: Holed up at the end of the world with her well-meaning but dim-witted brother Jo (Alex Esmail), Jess (April Pearson) isn’t sure what will destroy her will to live first: the zombies or Jo’s incessant optimism.

No Place Like Home - WORLD PREMIERE - Japan
Directed by Nicholas Humphries
Produced by Mai Nakanishi, Christine DeJoy
Synopsis: What happens when Dorothy's desperate wish to go home faces a most unexpected turn where she finds herself in zombie apocalyptic Kansas?

Orange County Hill Killers - USA
Directed by Katie Downer
Synopsis: Storytelling and reality are blurred when four teenagers enter the infamous Blackstar Canyon.

Outbreak - LOS ANGELES PREMIERE - USA
Directed by Maddison Lopez
Synopsis: A toxic plant explosion releases a fume that does strange things to nearby high school students. Everyone's trying to get out alive.

Phantom Limb - WORLD PREMIERE - USA
Directed by Lark O. Arrowood
Synopsis: Jeffery has always suspected that something was wrong with his body. We find him in the eye of the storm, on the verge of collapse. He is disheveled and beginning to suspect that he has made a grave error.

Self-Portrait - Canada
Directed by Jovanka Vuckovic
Synopsis: In the process of taking off her make-up, a young woman reveals her true face.



Slumber Party - USA
Directed by Jenn Wexler
Synopsis: A dark wish becomes a nightmarish reality when best friends play a game of Bloody Mary.

The Meeting - US Premiere - Canada
Directed by Karen Lam
Synopsis: In a weekly meet-up, four serial killers confess their sins and hope for redemption. But all hell breaks loose when a newcomer pops in, and threatens to join the group...
**This film was made by a member of the Viscera Staff.**

Other films that will be joining the 2013 Viscera Tour include:

Estigma - Spain
Directed by Sara Ibáñez Mayor
Synopsis:  A girl commits murder in a bath, but the crime may not be over... still.

Fashion Victim - Canada
Directed by Caroline Trudel
Synopsis:  A woman awakens in her party dress & heels. The sounds of distress she hears make it clear she needs to find a way out fast. Will her attire impede her ability to escape? Will she be fashion’s latest victim?

Racist Zombies - USA
Directed by Jennifer Treuting
Synopsis: The only thing worse than zombies is racist zombies. A comedy short by The Charlies.

Shelter - USA
Directed Eve Edelson
Synopsis: A battered woman finds an unusual way out of a very unusual relationship in a night of cosmic justice in an animal shelter.

Tickets for the 2013 Viscera Film Festival can be purchased through the American Cinematheque's website at www.americancinemathequecalendar.com/egyptian_theatre_events and out-of-town attendees are encouraged to stay at The Redbury (1717 Vine Street), Hollywood’s premiere boutique hotel and official sponsor of this year’s festival (www.theredbury.com). The special rate, which is only available until June 14th, and accommodation information for attendees can be found at www.viscerafilmfestival.com/#!__carpet-ceremony/hotel.

This year's award ceremony is sponsored by Vincent Damyanovich of SoulFX Studio, www.soulfxstudio.com; the 2013 Viscera Film Festival poster was designed by Irene Langholm with photography by Joshua Hoffine.

The Viscera Film Festival is a co-presentation of the Viscera Organization and the American Cinematheque in Hollywood, California. Both organizations are 501(c)3 not-for-profits.

Official sponsors for the 2013 Viscera Film Festival include Cat & Fiddle, The Redbury, Diabolique Magazine, Final Draft, Fangoria Magazine, Western Digital, Evil Supply Company, Too Fast Brand Alternative Apparel, Mago's Magic Shoppe, The House of Mirthquake, Joshua Hoffine, Irene Langholm, The Homicidal Homemaker, Laughing Vixen Lounge, Deep Midnight Perfumes, Fangtastic Cards, The Art of Kamille Freske, Solocosmo: Art by Jessica Grundy, NikytaGaia Photography, The Shoggoth Assembly Special Effects, SoulFX Studio, Jungle Software, Sony Creative Suites, and The Poisoned Apple.
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