Monday, October 7, 2013

31 LISTS OF HALLOWEEN: "THE 15 PEOPLE YOU MEET AT HORROR CONVENTIONS"

This past weekend was the one, the only, Cinema Wasteland.  A celebration of schlock, sci-fi, cult, and drive-in cinema, there is truly no other convention quite like Cinema Wasteland.  This year I was fortunate enough to catch the first reunion of the cast of The Hills Have Eyes.  It was one of the most wonderful panels I've ever witnessed, and the cast was elated to be there.  Highlights definitely included when Dee Wallace held my hand and called me wonderful, Michael Berryman wandering around the convention and asked if he and I could dance, and the legendary porn star Seka telling me I had "an incredible rack."  Needless to say, it was a fantastic weekend.  Many of you have been to your fair share of conventions, and I felt it necessary for today's list to be focused on those "stock characters" you always see at conventions.  I'm sure I'm going to miss some, but here's the 15 that in my opinion, always stick out. NOTE: I'm focusing solely on attendees/vendors and not celebrities.

Still from The Girl Who Knew Too Much
THE CLASSIC HORROR FAN: 
If it's not in black and white, it sucks.

Two awesome members of FEARnet's promotional team
THE WICKED HOT BOOTH BABES
Oh my god, I will buy anything you ask. Just smile at me again...

Matt Goodfriend and Wes Allen of The Blood Sprayer in all of their bearded glory.
MEN WITH INSANELY LARGE BEARDS
See Also: 68% of the male population at a horror convention

Linnea Quigley and Radiation-Scarred Reviews' Bill Adcock
THE IMPRESSIVE BATTLE VEST GUY
Where do you even find some of those buttons?!
Adam King: Days of the Dead's official Ash Williams
THE IMMACULATE COSPLAYER
Putting your Halloween costumes to shame since forever.

Still from the documentary FANTASM
THE ADORABLE CHILDREN IN COSTUME
Little kids in horror gear make me ovulate. THEY'RE SO CUTE.

Cameron Scott's western/revenge/horror flick.
THE GUY SELLING MOVIES YOU DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED
Wait, this is a thing?

The Warlock Home Video crew hanging out with some of THE GOONIES
PEOPLE WAY TOO EXCITED TO MEET CHILDHOOD HEROES
Sometimes they cry, sometimes they truffle shuffle.

THE COMIC BOOK/MAGAZINE GUY
He's got at least 40 copies of every Fangoria issue, but still charges $60 a piece.

Still from Holliston: S1E9
 ALT. FEMALE CRAFT VENDORS
Can be seen selling bows with skulls on them and black nailpolish in bat shaped bottles

There's probably a girl out there crying just looking at this photo.
NORMAN REEDUS FANGIRLS
Beatlemania be damned, Dixon fangirls are INSANE.

Someone needs to call the boner patrol.
THE MEN THAT SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED AT FEMALE CELEBRITY GUEST TABLES
Don't tell Danielle Harris you masturbate to her...and learn to breathe out of your nose.

Icons of Fright, FEARnet, and Killer POV's Rob G getting the Kane Hodder treatment.
 KANE HODDER CHOKE VICTIMS
He chokes everyone. You're not special. Quit squealing.

KRISTY JETT
Seriously, how can you not know Kristy Jett?

Still from Holliston: S1E9
THE JUDGMENTAL KNOW IT ALL
It may be impressive that he/she learned Latin to be able to fluently write his/her own Necronomicon, but scoffing at anyone else unable to do it just makes him/her an asshole.

4 comment(s):

DrunkethWizerd said...

My god you look extra hot in those glasses.

Koni Ramm said...

I would be someone that almost nobody meets. I mill around looking at everything, maybe buying a little something, then I go. I'm rather shy.

Diandra said...

Yesyesyes and more YES!!! Absolutely love all of these.

Anonymous said...

That Ash cosplayer! JESUS CHRIST HE'S GOOD.
Helps he looks like BC.

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