Wednesday, September 28, 2011

SCRE4M COMING TO DVD & BLU-RAY ON OCTOBER 4TH

As someone who has gone on record more than a few times to express resentment towards this series, I was actually quite pleased with the fourth installment of the franchise.  While the 2nd and 3rd installments left little to be excited over, the fourth one seemed to reach back into its roots and completely revitalized the series.  I had already seen the movie when this DVD arrived in my mailbox, so this will not be a film review.  However, there are some pretty neat special features that come along with the DVD that deserve mention.  Included:

  • The Making of Scream 4 featurette
  • Alternate Opening
  • Extended Ending
  • Deleted and Extended Scenes
  • The Gag Reel
The Gag Reel is everything you could expect in a Gag Reel and the Alternate Opening/Extended Endings weren't bad by any means.  Depending on my mood, I could actually prefer the alternate opening.  For a fan of the series, it's definitely a must have.  I'd give a bit more opinion on the rest of the extras, but I'm not one for spoilers ;)

Scream 4 will be available on DVD and as a Blu-Ray/DVD Combo Pack on October 4th, 2011 – just in time for Halloween! You can click here to pre-order it on Amazon.com. More information about the film is available on Scream-4.com

Monday, September 19, 2011

THE HUMAN CEPTIPEDE (FULL SEQUENCE) TRAILER SEEMS...MEH.


Unless you've been living under a rock for the last couple of years, you've heard SOMETHING about The Human CentipedeThe Human Centipede was a "shocking" look at what happens when a doctor obsessed with the idea of centipede people decides to connect three unsuspecting people through their gastric tracts.  You know...ass to mouth.  Promising to be one of the grossest and shocking films of the decade, we were given a film with minor gross outs, a strong leading character, and nothing more than a couple of decent scenes.  Sorry, but I was a little disappointed by the first film.  I was promised horror so gross I would vomit, and I didn't.  I didn't even cringe.  The most graphic scenes of the entire movie were leaked months in advance and it left absolutely nothing else redeeming for the film.  Hell, I've seen more graphic episodes of Law & Order: SVU. I mean, if Matt Stone and Trey Parker can parody your film and make it more entertaining...there's a problem. I digress...


Tom Six, apparently a little butt hurt from critics like myself, decided to step up his game and make a sequel.  Instead of having three people connected...he's connecting twelve.  While this sounds "oh-so disgusting", I think this idea is going to have the same effect as watching a twelve person porno.  It's a really good idea on paper, but when you try to execute it, it's nothing more than a bunch of squirming bodies and obnoxious screaming.  Nothing satisfying will come out of this.  At all.  Instead of continuing with the storyline from the original (whatever story surgically attaching people ass to mouth possesses) we are given a brand new villain.  Resembling something like "gluttony" from Se7en, Martin is a young man utterly obsessed with the film of The Human Centipede.  A self-aware sequel? Oh joy.  He's so obsessed, he's decided to make a centipede of his own.  Hm. Well. That's one way to continue the concept. 

All I'm saying is that I think this is going to be pretty pointless. Maybe they'll change my mind and I'll puke or something. I'm just not going to hold my breath.  Watch the trailer for yourself, make your own opinion.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

DAY OF THE WOMAN PRESENTS: THE SEXIEST ZOMBIE WOMEN

It was nearly two and a half years ago when Day of the Woman unveiled the most visited list on this blog.  Now that years have gone by, there has been an outbreak (no pun intended) of zombie films, books, genre obsessions, and adaptations.  When we think of a zombie, the easiest image is that of a rotting male corpse with a jaw missing and skin melting off of the bones.  Female zombies, are of a breed entirely their own.  For some reason or another, regardless of the decrepit stage, female zombies have always managed to withhold even the slightest bit of sex appeal.  Leave it to a woman to find a way to manage to make a brain hungry savage somewhat attractive.  While the first list was simply the "top zombie women", this list is of a bit of a different caliber.  While little Karen Cooper may have been the top female zombie, calling a child "sexy" is just a little too Oingo Boingo for my liking.  These women are the zombies that manage to keep your blood flowing even while they're stumbling after you.  These are the women that can instill both a nightmare, and a gloriously realistic fantasy.  Ladies and Germs, I now submit for your approval, the sexiest zombie women in horror.
BLONDE ZOMBIE from DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978)
The infamous blonde ghoul terrorizing the mall in George A. Romero's masterpiece Dawn of the Dead was played by Jeannie Jefferies.  Not only is she credited as being the girl who attacked Roger, but she was also one of Savini's make-up girls on set.  Not too shabby as far as zombie credentials go, eh?
#9 from LAND OF THE DEAD
Albeit the jaw falling completely off of her face, Jennifer Baxter as #9 in Land of the Dead is pretty cute.  Maybe it's her tattered "beach wave" hair, or her always curious expression, or the tomboy feel you get when she's running around with the baseball bat...but she's so cute.  I mean, I guess you'd have to be in order to hang out with the likes of Big Daddy.  I will say this, google her without the zombie makeup.  Goodness Gracious, she's a total babe.

THE WOMEN from THE ZOMBIE WOMEN OF SATAN
The U.K. really caused quite the stir in the loins of horror geeks everywhere with this little indie film.  Let's just say that gore wasn't the only thing gratuitous about this film.  There are so many boobs in this film you'd think you were watching HBO after hours.  The film itself is trying ridiculously too hard to impress, but this list isn't about quality films...it's about sexy zombie women.  I commend this film not only for having half naked women covered in blood, but for also having CURVY women.  Most film producers wouldn't dare have someone naked that isn't a size two, so I commend the filmmakers for showing that zombie or not, curvy women have got it going on.
NAKED ZOMBIE from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
Although we never see much of her other than from behind, this woman managed to take a walk on role and turn it into one of the most iconic images from the granddaddy of all things zombie.  This famous booty has plastered itself on VHS and DVD covers, collage posters, and even tattoos of the most diehard fans.  Eat your heart out, Kim Kardashian.
MONA HARRISON from ZOMBIES OF MORA TAU
Before Romero completely changed the zombie film as we know it, the film industry was cranking out zombie films left and right.  Wearing quite possibly the greatest push-up bra in the history of film, the fifty foot woman herself, Allison Hayes, was one of the most classically beautiful zombies to ever grace the screen.  So she isn't falling apart at the seams and isn't trying to eat anyone, so what? She's still a zombie.  A sexy, sexy zombie. 
TAMMY from FIDO
Thanks to the quick acting Zom-Com, Tammy is quite possibly the most composed of all of the zombies in the film Fido.  One of the few that sports an outfit that doesn't resemble that of a garbage man, Tammy is kept less as a servant, and more as a companion.   What she is accompanying is up for debate.  Tammy is played by the angelic Sonja Bennett.

THE LIVING DEAD GIRLZ
If the Pussycat Dolls and George A. Romero had a baby, it would probably resemble something like Amber Steele and The Living Dead Girlz.  These girls aren't just sexy, they're also talented.  With choreographed dance routines set with horrifying backgrounds, The Living Dead Girlz are a horror geek's ultimate fantasy.  If you're ever around San Fransico, CA...try to track them down and catch a performance.
JENNA JAMESON from ZOMBIE STRIPPERS
Seriously? This needs a description?  While Jenna Jameson's best acting contributions to the world were done lying on her back, she managed to get cozy with Robert Englund in genre guilty pleasure Zombie Strippers.  This film was nothing more than a role she was born to play, and horror fanatics around the globe are eternally grateful for it.  
 
TRASH from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
And on the third day, God said "Let There Be Linnea Quigley".  Am I going to get crap for not saving her for last? Yes. Do I care? no.  Linnea Quigley's performance as Trash in ROTLD is quite possibly the zombie female performance to end all zombie female performances.  She was mouthy, scary, sexy, and horror fans couldn't get enough of her.  She could very well be responsible for setting an entire generation of horror geeks through puberty, and I don't think there's a single person out there who would complain about it.  She was the first, she's one of the best, and she's easily the inspiration for most of (if not the entire) sexy zombie movement.
JULIE WALKER from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD III
 Trash may have been the original sexy zombie, but Melinda Clarke's portrayal of Julie Walker in ROTLD3 is easily the Holy Grail.  A combination of sex, undead, metal, and prowess, Julie Walker is easily the end all be all of all things sexy zombie.  She's easily the only redeeming quality about the film, and her sex appeal has made quite the splash in the libidos of horror fans the world over. 





Can't get enough undead women?  Apparently the zombies in the new video game Dead Island are pretty sexy and they've composed a list of the seven sexiest zombies from the game over HERE.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY: FRIGHT NIGHT (2011)

Don't adjust your monitors, you are seeing perfectly fine.  This is another edition of Day of the Woman's beloved TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY!!  I haven't done a TPT in a long while, moreso because I haven't had the time to really dig deep and find a poster shiteous enough for a bashing.  I've been holding off on this one for a while because I didn't want to hop on the OMG REMAKES SUCK!!!!1!!ONEONE!!!1! bandwagon.  HOWEVER, I think that enough time has passed as to where I can deliver a famous BJ-C style rant about the poster that bastardized a film I love so dearly.

First of all, you can't have Fright Night without the vampire teeth behind the house.  I'm just going to say that now.  That image is so ridiculously iconic, that it needs to have been there.  If they weren't going to try to replicate that poster, they should have created one that was nowhere NEAR similar to the original.  This one has a face in the background in front of some houses.  Modern twist, yes, but a little too far from the original.  They should have gone for something completely different, because now they've put us in a position where it's next to impossible NOT to compare it to the original one.  It's too similar not to be compared, but too different to be appreciated.

Second, CAN WE PLEASE STOP WITH THE RED CULLEN EYE CONTACTS.  Holy mother of Lovecraft, I'm so tired of films playing with the red/gold contact obsession of the Twatlight franchise and slapping them on everything vampire that has come since.  Just because you throw a pair of contacts and some fangs on a person, does NOT make them a vampire.  With that in mind, if you're going to throw contacts on someone, at least take the promotional picture with the contacts in instead of photoshopping the color onto his eyes.   While you're at it, get rid of the shine off of his face. It looks as if Jerry Dandridge 2.0 has been wearing far too much makeup to make him look pale. 

I'm not even going to touch on the sunrise neighborhood.  It's too easy. The houses are on repeat.  Enough said.

I'll finish off this rant by whining about posters the way I always do.  This is just another prime example of how art is slowly dying.  There are beautiful posters that will forever remain in memories and books rather than on billboards because we're too obsessed with cranking out over shopped works of garbage.  Le Sigh. Can someone please redeem themselves soon?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

EXPOSING FRIENDS TO HORROR FILMS: THE ART OF MAKING CHRISTMAS GIFT GIVING FEEL LIKE A CHUMP

One of the worst parts about the dreaded summer vacation away from college life is the fact that I'm stuck at home living with my parents again.  An even worse aspect about leaving college life is no longer having someone with hours to sit around and do absolutely nothing with.  While exposing my mother and my sister's comrades to horror films once in a blue moon helps me get my rocks off, spending weekends in the living room of my dearest companions with instant-watch Netflix holds the undisputed crown of joy in my life.  Thanks to the holiday laws of 'Merican state schools, my university is on a three day weekend.  Instead of solely spending my free weekend in an alcohol induced coma (if you follow me on twitter, you'll know that I save that for the evenings) most of my hours have been spent in front of a television screen.  In the past 36 hours, we've been witness to Trick 'R Treat, Lake Mungo, Daybreakers, Ghostbusters, Poltergeist, Little Shop of Horrors, and The Exorcist.  It's up for debate whether or not some of these are "horror" movies, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm finally reuinted with people who share the same lust for horror as I do.

The first film was put on out of pure curiosity by my friends, although there were a few who had their doubts based on the cover.  It brought me great pleasure to witness their faces light-up at lines like "Charlie Brown's an asshole!", and watch them jump and down in delight when the stories all began to intertwine.  And yes, as college kids, we all get quite the kick out of the werewolf transition scenes.  It was nice to see the skeptics turn into believers, and the die-hard fans looked as though I had dropped the Holy Grail in their laps.  It's not very often that I've seen a film have such an overwhelming effect on those I've exposed it to, and it makes me feel like I'm watching my children ride a bike with two wheels for the first time.

As the afternoon brought a thunderstorm that shook the windows and cooled the air, they requested a film that would make their skin crawl.  I felt that their appetite could only be suppressed with Australian paranormal nightmares.  As the storm grew quieter, the only sounds that could be heard was the light flicking of nervous fingernail biting and cell phone buttons being tapped purely out of distraction from their fears.  The strangest thing, was how you could feel the frightened energy bouncing around the room as people spent half their time staring at the television screen in disbelief, and the other half of their time scanning the room from some sort of distraction to help ease their fears into submission.  The credits rolled, the big "twist" was revealed and there was...silence.  I presumed at first that the silence was due to the awe of how they all missed the reveal from the beginning, but the silence was directly inspired by fear.  It was at this point that my friend exclaimed "I'm really, really creeped out right now".  Which was shortly follwed by another friend claiming "I really need to go to the bathroom, but I'm way too scared to go".  I firmly believe that a film has truly done its job if it has scared you enough to make peeing your pants seem like a better option than closing a door.

Little Shop and The Exorcist are a bit of a blur (thanks to special rootbeer floats and whipped cream flavored vodka), but I can say that watching the latter long after the possibility of passing a field sobriety test was a new experience.  I don't think I've ever noticed how much Father Karras looks like the poor man's Sly Stallone until last night.  Just Sayin'.  Anyway...after sleeping and consuming a ridiculous amount of greasy food, things resumed with a classic view of Ghostbusters.  Bill Fucking Murry and the rest of the crew made the morning survivable, but we were craving a creepier classic for the afternoon.  Enter Poltergeist.  Most of the room had already seen the flick, but there were the few who hadn't.  It had been a couple of years since my last viewing, so it was a more than warm welcome.  Just a side thought, have any of you noticed how unbelievably depressing the burial preparation for Tweety the bird is?  Christ.  She put a blanket and a family photo in that cigar box.  The film only reminded me how much I love Tobe Hooper and how desperately we need to return to giving horror films actual scores instead of playing shitty metal music.
As I type this, we're nearing the end of Daybreakers.  While it may be a film that most found lackluster, the ending soldier frenzy is doing more than satisfying the needs of my co-eds.  It's days like today that remind me why I do what I do.  If it wasn't for this blog and those I've met from the horror community, I wouldn't know where to find horror gems and I wouldn't be able to expose those around me to them.  We as horror fans are constantly ridiculed for liking the films that we like, and it is our duty as fans to spread quality horror films to those who are willing to watch them.  Horror is not dead, my friends.  Horror is alive, but it is our job to make sure it isn't left behind.
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