Sunday, September 4, 2011

EXPOSING FRIENDS TO HORROR FILMS: THE ART OF MAKING CHRISTMAS GIFT GIVING FEEL LIKE A CHUMP

One of the worst parts about the dreaded summer vacation away from college life is the fact that I'm stuck at home living with my parents again.  An even worse aspect about leaving college life is no longer having someone with hours to sit around and do absolutely nothing with.  While exposing my mother and my sister's comrades to horror films once in a blue moon helps me get my rocks off, spending weekends in the living room of my dearest companions with instant-watch Netflix holds the undisputed crown of joy in my life.  Thanks to the holiday laws of 'Merican state schools, my university is on a three day weekend.  Instead of solely spending my free weekend in an alcohol induced coma (if you follow me on twitter, you'll know that I save that for the evenings) most of my hours have been spent in front of a television screen.  In the past 36 hours, we've been witness to Trick 'R Treat, Lake Mungo, Daybreakers, Ghostbusters, Poltergeist, Little Shop of Horrors, and The Exorcist.  It's up for debate whether or not some of these are "horror" movies, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm finally reuinted with people who share the same lust for horror as I do.

The first film was put on out of pure curiosity by my friends, although there were a few who had their doubts based on the cover.  It brought me great pleasure to witness their faces light-up at lines like "Charlie Brown's an asshole!", and watch them jump and down in delight when the stories all began to intertwine.  And yes, as college kids, we all get quite the kick out of the werewolf transition scenes.  It was nice to see the skeptics turn into believers, and the die-hard fans looked as though I had dropped the Holy Grail in their laps.  It's not very often that I've seen a film have such an overwhelming effect on those I've exposed it to, and it makes me feel like I'm watching my children ride a bike with two wheels for the first time.

As the afternoon brought a thunderstorm that shook the windows and cooled the air, they requested a film that would make their skin crawl.  I felt that their appetite could only be suppressed with Australian paranormal nightmares.  As the storm grew quieter, the only sounds that could be heard was the light flicking of nervous fingernail biting and cell phone buttons being tapped purely out of distraction from their fears.  The strangest thing, was how you could feel the frightened energy bouncing around the room as people spent half their time staring at the television screen in disbelief, and the other half of their time scanning the room from some sort of distraction to help ease their fears into submission.  The credits rolled, the big "twist" was revealed and there was...silence.  I presumed at first that the silence was due to the awe of how they all missed the reveal from the beginning, but the silence was directly inspired by fear.  It was at this point that my friend exclaimed "I'm really, really creeped out right now".  Which was shortly follwed by another friend claiming "I really need to go to the bathroom, but I'm way too scared to go".  I firmly believe that a film has truly done its job if it has scared you enough to make peeing your pants seem like a better option than closing a door.

Little Shop and The Exorcist are a bit of a blur (thanks to special rootbeer floats and whipped cream flavored vodka), but I can say that watching the latter long after the possibility of passing a field sobriety test was a new experience.  I don't think I've ever noticed how much Father Karras looks like the poor man's Sly Stallone until last night.  Just Sayin'.  Anyway...after sleeping and consuming a ridiculous amount of greasy food, things resumed with a classic view of Ghostbusters.  Bill Fucking Murry and the rest of the crew made the morning survivable, but we were craving a creepier classic for the afternoon.  Enter Poltergeist.  Most of the room had already seen the flick, but there were the few who hadn't.  It had been a couple of years since my last viewing, so it was a more than warm welcome.  Just a side thought, have any of you noticed how unbelievably depressing the burial preparation for Tweety the bird is?  Christ.  She put a blanket and a family photo in that cigar box.  The film only reminded me how much I love Tobe Hooper and how desperately we need to return to giving horror films actual scores instead of playing shitty metal music.
As I type this, we're nearing the end of Daybreakers.  While it may be a film that most found lackluster, the ending soldier frenzy is doing more than satisfying the needs of my co-eds.  It's days like today that remind me why I do what I do.  If it wasn't for this blog and those I've met from the horror community, I wouldn't know where to find horror gems and I wouldn't be able to expose those around me to them.  We as horror fans are constantly ridiculed for liking the films that we like, and it is our duty as fans to spread quality horror films to those who are willing to watch them.  Horror is not dead, my friends.  Horror is alive, but it is our job to make sure it isn't left behind.

3 comment(s):

Mike/All Things Horror said...

This post makes me miss college dorm/apartment life when we'd sit around watching the original versions of Star Wars on VHS or TCM at 2 in the morning every weekend.

Anonymous said...

THE WOMEN IN YOUR FAMILY ARE YOUR "HOLY PEOPLE"!!! THEY ARE YOUR INTERFACE WITH THE GODS!!!
Their role throughout history is to communicate the god's wisdom so the entire family can progress when reincarnated. Effectively acomplishing this task may buy them a quality opportunity to ascend in their next life.

Your job as a future mother is to learn the god's ways and to help your child understand despite the negative reinforcement and conditioning of today's society. Without consciousous parents the child will have no hope, and may even exaserbate their disfavor by becoming corrupted in today's environment.
Your ultimate goal is to fix your relationship wiith the gods and move on. You don't want to be comfortable here, and the changes in Western society in the last 100 years has achieved just that.
1000 years with Jesus is the consolation prize. Don't be deceived into thinking that is the goal.

Much like the other prophets Mohhamed (polygamy/superiority over women/misogyny) and Jesus (forgiveness/savior), the gods use me for temptation as well. In today's modern society they feel people are most weak for popular culture/sensationalism, and the clues date back to WorldWarII and Unit731:TSUSHOGO, the Chinese Holocaust. They used this Situation to bury Japanese atrocities. And since the gods never committed despite tens of billions in mass media, product development and natural disasters/tragedy they will employ the freedom they positioned into the Situation and CHEAT me out of everything.
It has been discussed that, similar to the Matrix concept, the gods will offer a REAL "Second Coming of Christ", while the "fake" Second Coming will come at the end and follow New Testiment scripture and their xtian positioning. I may be that real Second Coming.
What I teach is the god's true way. It is what is expected of people, and only those who follow this truth will be eligible to ascend into heaven as children in a future life. They offered this event because the masses have just enough time to work on and fix their relationship with the gods and ascend, to move and grow past Planet Earth, before the obligatory xtian "consolation prize" of "1000 years with Jesus on Earth" begins.

LJ said...

As much as I love "shitty metal music", I'm going to have to agree with the actual scores thing. I think a horror movie should be limited to one shitty metal song. Play it at the end. I'm deliberately thinking about "And Fools Shine On", here, which was played at the end of Halloween (666) The Curse of Michael Myers (aka. The shittiest of the series until Resurrection). That song, done by Brother Cane, is excellent and totally fits horror. I could name some others, but like I said, limit it to one, play it at the end and write a score for the rest of the movie.

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