Tuesday, July 19, 2011

THE TOP FIVE REASONS HORROR MOVIES HAVE RUINED THE HOTEL EXPERIENCE

 In the darkest hours I reside on the interwebs as BJ-C, but during the daytime, I am Brittney-Jade: Front Desk Extraordinaire at a hotel in my hometown.  I absolutely love working in the hospitality business, but my little fears established from years of watching horror movies seem to rear their ugly heads whenever I'm at work.  In the same way that JAWS ruined swimming in the ocean for most people, horror movies have completely ruined the hotel experience.  Maybe it has something to do with the hundred other people sleeping in the same building as you or the eerily quiet hallways, but something about hotels are extremely chilling and horror films have done a great job at exploiting that factor.

First of all, thanks to The Shining, it is IMPOSSIBLE to look down a hotel hallway and not instinctively fear a pair of Grady sisters awaiting you at the other end.  If you've seen this film and don't experience that whenever you stay at a hotel, you're either insane or a liar.  Tonight I had to bring up towels to a room at the very end of the hallway.  The second I got the room number, I immediately had a pit in my stomach because I knew I was going to have to walk to the complete end of the hall to deliver it all.  I could almost hear them asking "Come Play With Me" as I stepped off the elevator.  Thanks, King/Kubrick. Thanks.
Second, I've become extremely paranoid that I'm being watched.  I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I wish there were cameras in the rooms just to prove if people really are just trying to scam there way into a free night, but that's super illegal.  However, I can't help but wonder that there is a camera hidden in the room and there's someone watching my every move.  This paranoid has been brought to you by the film Vacancy.

You know something? I'm really bad with things out of my control.  I'm the kid that gets nervous on an escalator when wearing shoes with laces.  Do you know what every hotel has? An elevator. Do you know what every hotel elevator does? Creaks like a mofo, moves unbelievably slow, and makes loud beeping noises when you try to hold the door open for someone.  I don't know about you, but these all sound like warning signs for an elevator to come crashing down and demolishing all of those inside of it.  Tower of Terror may be based off of a Disney World ride, but it doesn't change the fact that falling to your death in a giant metal box isn't one of the most horrifying thoughts in the world.
I'm going to be really obvious here. I'm always afraid the place is haunted.  While my hotel is less than a month old and no one has died in it, I can't help but feel that every hotel has a little bit of haunting going on.  There seems to always be this lingering sense of despair in every hotel.  Maybe it's the forced silence mixing with the murmurs of television sets attempting to muffle adultery and prom night virginity loss, but I can't help but always feel extremely uncomfortable with hotel rooms.  The Lakeview Hotel from the Silent Hill games has easily made me weary of every strange occurrence, and has made it almost impossible to stay a night in a hotel without having the creeps.
Most importantly, I'm horrified to shower at hotels for obvious reasoning (note the infamous shower scene from Psycho above).  Not only does it gross me out to think of how many people have used the shower before me, but damn it if Hitchcock didn't ruin showers for me forever.  He didn't just ruin hotel showers, he ruined all showers together.  There's a reason I only shower at school during awkward times of the afternoon/evening is to prevent this sort of anxiety.  Hotels are easily the worst.  They're small, unfamiliar spaces, and there are workers who could create keys and barge in and stab me whenever the felt necessary.  Thanks, but I think I'll stay home.

3 comment(s):

Pax Romano said...

But since you work at a hotel, you are part of the whole evil thing...as a matter of fact, I'll bet YOU are the caretaker. You've always been the caretaker...btw, have you met the bartender,Grady? Swell fella!

Alexandra said...

1408 (the first 30 minutes at least) made me deathly afraid of hotels in larger cities. Which is a pretty rare feat. But I guess the crazies come out more there....

andrea said...

I am so with you on this. I worked for a hotel for about 2 years, and I was constantly freaked out.

From the stories about various crimes and suicides that occurred there to having to walk up a bunch of creaky stairs in the dark every night (I usually got off at 11 pm, and our time clock was upstairs and down a dark hallway), I had non-stop anxiety. I don't think I could do it today.

And I, like you, always think hotels are haunted.

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