Friday, May 20, 2011

WHAT DO HORROR MOVIES HAVE AGAINST TIARAS?

In case you're new to the DotW scene, BJ-C is a former pageant queen, current pageant coach, and all around supporter of pageantry in most of its forms.  Right now, I'm gearing up to host the local pageant in my community so I've been surrounded by all things tiara and tulle gowns.  I just have to ask this one question, what do horror movies have against tiaras?  I mean, I understand that society has labeled beauty pageants as demeaning and sexist programs even though the Miss America organization provides a ridiculous amount of scholarships for girls and a majority of pageants in The United States do not require a swimsuit portion and it is universal in ALL pageant systems that the interview portion is worth the most amount of points...but that's no reason for people to never allow pageant queens to survive horror films.  Scummy people survive horror movies all the time, and pageant girls get a bad rap because not only do they tend to be pretty, but they're also doing wonderful things as far as volunteer services are concerned. Hell, if you win say Miss Illinois, you take a year off of school/work in order to fulfill your duties helping the state.  It's not all gowns and tiaras, that's just what sells on TV.   It's easy for us to hate pretty girls who are also assholes, it's harder to hate ones that actually do good for the world.  I digress. ANNNNYWAY.  Horror movies just don't like tiaras.  If you don't believe me, let me offer a few examples that prove this point.

Let's go with the obvious first and talk about Prom Night. (I'm talking the 80's version here. Not the one with if "I arch my eyebrows then I am acting scared" Brittany Snow) The poor girl should be celebrating one of the happiest memories of her high school career that isn't overshadowed by the immense date raping done by the star quarterback, and she's running from a killer.  Give the damn girl a break!  Why didn't he go after the art class president or the pitcher on the softball team?  Why did they HAVE make her the prom queen?  Need another example? Look at I Know What You Did Last Summer.  Poor Helen, all she wanted to do was give up her title gracefully, but the killer had to chop her hair to bits and kill her boyfriend while she was on stage.  Let me just tell you, giving up a title to a new girl is difficult enough, but having to watch the love of your life get hacked to bits while the rest of the crowd is oblivious and concerned as to why you're crying like a maniac...that's just really exacerbating things.  Not to mention, she died later.  Of course the blonde beauty queen dies before the "plain brunette with bangs".  Damn you 90's stereotypes!

Then we have the mother of all tiara hating horror movies, Carrie.  We can all accept right away that everyone treated Carrie White like total garbage even before she was crowned the prom queen, but I think that the students at Bates High School knew that putting a tiara on her head would immediately bring her turmoil and used the tiara as a weapon to set her up for destruction.  First you get the crown, then you get the pigs blood.  Not much of a congratulatory present, you think?  Plus, cleaning rhinestones is total bitch.  You can all say that she got her revenge by killing them all, but did she really?  She killed an entire school only to go home to a crazed mother who didn't console her and instead tried to kill her.  That doesn't sound much like revenge to me.  Let's face it, horror films just have something against tiaras.  Maybe it's because the tiara is sparkly and something everyone wants and horror movies are just jealous, or maybe it's because tiaras represent universal acceptance and that's something that horror fans never seem to fully get from the "social norm".  This can be analyzed any way we'd like but I think that instead of constantly making tiara clad characters the insta-kill, we should let them survive at least once. 

3 comment(s):

Emily said...

I watched a movie on VHS back in the late '80s about a family in an RV traveling to beauty pageants with a teen daughter who was in a wheelchair but still competed. THey get kidnapped by crazed hillbillies and stuff happens. Now, I have NO IDEA what the title was, but I SWEAR it exists and the pageant girl does indeed survive. So there's hope somewhere out in VHSland!

Oh, and not sure if I ever told you how I learned my state names: my sister and I used to rewatch Miss Teen USA 1987 and she'd go through the contestants names and cities and I'd name the states. So pageants were actually educational for me!

Shannon said...

I think its because the Tiara/Princess Crown to most people nowadays represent Vanity and Bratty behaviour (even though that's overblown in the media)

Faycin A Croud said...

I think it's what Shannon said. It's one of those horror movie rules, like once you're sexually active your ass is doomed!

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