Saturday, May 14, 2011

TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY: THE FINAL

Yes, I know it's Saturday.  Don't get all Rebecca Black on me when it comes to what day it is.  I have officially finished up my final exams at university and it dawned on me that it's been nearly seven months since my last TpT.  That just will not do.  Inspired by what I'm going through at the moment and the fact that Day of the Woman is about to go back to the way things were, I present to you THE RETURN of Terrible Poster Tuesday!

The Final, where should I even begin with you?  Let's start with the obvious, shall we?  You put a girl in the middle of the poster in a catholic school girl's costume and gave her ratty black hair so you can barely see her face.  Congratulations, you've just shown off the fact you've seen J-Horror films.  I mean, associating your characters with Samara from The Ring is a good thing...if that character had anything to do with your film, which it doesn't.  Her blank stare is sort of effective, except the size of her hair is making her look like one of the shrunken head men from Beetlejuice.  Also, the uniform?  It's a school.  I see the chalkboard, I see the desk, I see the papers, YOU DON'T NEED THE GOD DAMN UNIFORM. The school you're portraying isn't in a Catholic school, so the uniform is just adding to the redundancy of this poster.  Oh, and way to make the girl pigeon toed as an attempt to make her appear innocent and thus more creepy. Grats.

Okay, and now there is paper scattered across the floor.  This I actually really enjoy.  Oh, wait, what in the Hades is that? It looks like someone squished a gusher on the floor.  My mistake, it's actually a clip art hand print that was photoshopped on top of the papers and left no remains of blood anywhere else. It's either that or my only guess would be that some child came by with blood on their hand and thought giving their math test a high five would be a good thing to do before running away from their killer.  I also see that you've learned to fade the corners of a photo to brighten the center.  Where'd you learn that one, the picnik app?

Bart Simpson would be proud of the handiwork behind your J-Whorer.  I would like to note that the handwriting looks like a small child's and not that of a high school student.  Then again, thanks to computers, we all write with chicken scratch. I retract my comment.  I WILL say that the rest of the examples of text on this poster are dreadful.  The title isn't nearly big enough or bright enough.  When my main focus is where the film is playing and NOT what the film actually is...we have a problem. 

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