Wednesday, March 9, 2011


"We didn't want to go, we didn't want to kill them, but its persistent silence and outstretched arms horrified and comforted us at the same time..."

If the experiment with Perkins 14 taught us anything, it's that sometimes original ideas aren't half bad.  It's just the actual production that tends to jack everything up.  Now, we must admit as horror fans that one of if not the biggest complaint we all make is the fact that production companies crank out oodles of dough for less than stellar story lines and the ever-so-dreaded remake craze.  The sad part is that the internet has happily handed over us a slice of fried gold, and the internet seems to be where it is staying.

Enter: Slender Man.  The Slender Man is a fake mythical creature completely created on the forums of SomethingAwful which has since grown to be a psuedo-meme and invaded more than it's original forum.  He's become the target of numerous deviantART pages, youtube channels, and fanfictions.  The brain child of Victor Surge, The Slender Man is usually shown as a tall and thin silhouette, wearing black pants, a black suit with a white shirt, and a black necktie underneath. He's normally depicted without a face and has the ability to stretch and shorten his arms as well as sport some crazy tentacle type things.  Think if "The Tall Man" from Phantasm and Doc Ock from Spiderman had a baby.

 The amazing thing about The Slender Man is that the tribulations of internet forum lurkers everywhere have contributed to create an immensely creepy backstory. According to the Mythical Creatures Guide, "He has the need to kidnap children, and is seen right before the disappearance of a child or multiple children. He seems to prefer fog enshrouded streets and wooded areas as a way to conceal himself from being noticed. It should also be noted that children have been able to see him when no other adults in the vicinity could. Children also have dreams or nightmares concerning The Slender Man before their disappearance. Confiding these stories to their parents are met with the usual parental admonition: overactive imaginations."  It goes on to say "Even though The Slender Man is a total fabrication, people have already claimed sightings. He appears to the unwitting mostly at night, and most always peering out of wooded areas or near rivers. He has also been reported to peek inside left open windows and to walk out in front of lone motorists on long uninhabited roads. The Slender Man or men, have appeared everywhere from Japan, Norway, and America to name a growing few."  While The Slender Man is nothing more than a character created for a contest, it doesn't change the fact that he is extremely haunting.  I can't help but look at the media created in his image and believe that Victor Surge is really just outing a creature that we've all been too chickenshit to make mention of.  I know that's complete rubbish, but it's fun to think about.  Which is the real point of this entry.

Why don't we take a step back from the bad remakes and the PG13 teen-horror garbage, and actually put together a solid film with a character that has already established a following as well as been proven to scare the wits out of anyone who sees it.  The Slender Man is something that the /b/tards of 4chan like to say "once it's been seen, you can't unsee it".  SO WHY AREN'T WE INVESTING IN THIS!?  We all know production companies only care about money, and this is a GUARANTEED cash cow.  There's enough internet buzz and e-bsession surrounding it, that the film would be next to impossible to flop.  It's a highly marketable creature because of how simplistically scary he is, and it would be the face of slasher films for the new millennium.  Think of the sequels and Halloween costumes this could generate!  If Hollywood wants to save the horror genre, someone should invest in some Slender Man.  Then again, since when does anyone listen to horror fans that actually like horror?  We'll probably get a cartoonish Candlejack movie before they crea

Please note that the post is supposed to end in the middle of the section. Google around some Candlejack mythology and you'll understand the joke :)

5 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

Amen to that! It's amazing, as you said, how this fictional character is stemming "real-life" sightings even though it is admitted fiction. Could it be that the minds of so many believers have actually made the Slender Man a reality?? (movie plot perhaps?)

Great article. Double check that last paragraph as it seems to be incomplete... unless he got to you before you can finish!!

WisdomofBookmonkey said...

Holy cow - I think this is the first Freakazoid reference I've ever come across in a horror blog.

You are awesome!


Great article and I loves me the Slender Man!

Spike Ghost said...

How did i not know about this before? oMG This is actually really scary XD

C.H.P. said...

Thanks for drawing my attention to this- hadn't heard of it before, and now that I've dug around a bit I'm only more impressed.
... and I'm in agreement; some of the Slender Man stuff out there is awfully eerie, and I'm fairly tough to shake.

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