Thursday, February 17, 2011


There is absolutely nothing cute about little girls.  I should know, I was one.  Even when they're all dolled up with pig-tails and frilly socks, they still look like horrifying porcelain dolls but with the ability to speak and move.  Don't believe me? Try sitting through a two-hour special of TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras, then come talk to me.  I ALWAYS suspect the seemingly innocent little brats before I ever suspect the gnarly, creepy janitors. A while back I wrote a piece on how to create the perfect creepy little girl, but now it's about time to showcase the little girls that have perfected the science down to an art, and have scared the living Hell out of us in the process.  Step aside baby Michael Myers, it's time for the girls to play ball.

Okay, little girls are creepy enough.  Little girls that are from foreign countries, compulsive liars, sexually attracted to their adoptive fathers, manipulative, conniving, and willing to take advantage of a hearing impaired three-year-old...that's a whole new level of evil.  Isabelle Fuhrman was absolutely captivating in her performance as Esther and she definitely has quite the career ahead of her.

The bad news is that you've just watched a curse VHS tape and a mysterious voice on the telephone has informed you that you are going to die in seven days.  The good news is that you're going to meet your timely demise by a little girl.  Oh wait...that's also the bad news.  Not only are you going to die, but you're going to meet your maker at the hands of the palest, wettest, well-dwellingest, long haired little girl in the history of ever.  Have a nice trip, upgrade to DVDs next time and this might not have happened.

She had the voice that started a horror movie empire.  Although she passed away at the tender age of twelve years old, Heather O'Rourke has become a true horror movie icon for her role in this classic ghost film.  It's almost next to impossible to mention the film without immediately picturing her icy blonde locks in front of a static television.  While she may not have been a killer kid or even the villain, the poor thing was the target for supernatural douchebags.  O'Rourke beat out Drew Barrymore for the role and will forever live in our hearts as the little girl who cried "They're Heeeeere".

I've become a self proclaimed crusader for this British import.  The child actors in this film are absolutely horrifying, but it's little Leah that has truly haunted my nightmares.  Unlike the other demented children hell-bent on destroying their parents, Leah actually used her child attributes to her advantage by crying out "Where's Mommy" in a sorrowful voice when she was about to meet her demise.  Freak.

"Look Mommy, I'm Burning" REALLY?! REALLY?! I understand that your character was totally screwed over by her community in the worst way possible, but self-combustion after calling for your mother's affection is just downright mean.  Not to mention that poor blonde nurse that you blinded brutally. That's it little lady, you're grounded. 

Dr. Phil has nothing on Cronenberg's psychotherapists.  Basically, his therapist creation has come up with this nifty little thing called "psychoplasmics".  Psychoplasmics are when a patient allows their negative emotions to force their bodies to undergo physical changes.  For example: a man who was verbally abused by his father develops welts and the like as a way of showing his pain.  I know, what does this have to do with creepy little girls.  It seems that one of this shrink's patients, Nola Carveth showcases her pain by birthing creepy, mutated children that speak telepathically and act out whatever negative emotions the mother is feeling at the time.  While her daughter Candice isn't the problem here, all of these mutant children are birthed in her likeness...if her likeness was bathed in battery acid that is.

How many kids can say that they killed Brooke Shields?  Probably not your kids, unless you're the parents of Paula Sheppard who definitely DID kill Brooke Shields while donning a creepy plastic face mask and a rain coat.  To add insult to injury, this all happened before darling little Brookie-Poo took her first communion.  What a way to celebrate one of the biggest moment in your religious journey next to meeting your maker...oh wait.

Unless you're living under a rock or don't deserve your horror fanclub card, you know exactly who these doublemint hellions are.  The darling little Grady sisters.  Here one minute, axed to pieces the next.  Anyone who has seen these jerks are fearful every time they turn a corner to a hallway in a hotel, or sometimes in their own home.  Be do it too.

Not only was Rhoda Penmark the walking version of a Kitty Carryall doll, but she was the killer kid to start all killer kids.  There wouldn't even be a killer kid genre without this braided, blonde barbarian.  The story of this demon seed originated as a book, which then turned into a Broadway Play, which then became the Academy Award nominated film we all cherish so dearly.  If your daughter plays the piano, tap dances, and loses a penmanship competition...lock her away, now.
There's really no other option when it comes to crown the Queen of the Creepy Little Girls.  While these children have all been gruesome, evil, maiming, and downright horrific, Karen Cooper goes above and beyond the call of little girl gnarlyness.  Cute little Karen Cooper after "hurting"...ATE HER FATHER AND STABBED HER MOTHER WITH A GARDEN TROWEL.  I don't care what anyone says, our most iconic little zombie darling is by far the creepiest of the creepy little girls in horror films.

(Thanks to all of the recommendations on Facebook)
Hayley Stark in Hard Candy and all of the Albino Girls in The Village of the Damned
oh...and this girl.

This is a snippet of the film Child of Rage. Not a horror movie, and too depressingly real to be included as a killer kid flick.

...and of course Ragen MacNeil in The Exorcist, but putting her in the same playing field as the rest of these little ones is just unfair. She's in a world of her own. :)

17 comment(s):

Spike Ghost said...

Wow, it's been a while since i watched the Exorcist (i must have been around 11-12) but damn, i must have watched a helluva censored version because i don't remember it being scary at all, and that video is pretty scary

The Scream Queen said...

Good list! For another creepy little girl, check out Phone (2002) The daughter, Young-ju, is pretty much the creepiest thing ever.

Fred [The Wolf] said...

Great list! I love all of these choices. Kids are creepy in general.

Erich Kuersten said...

Awesome list!! Hey I put a link and a Horror woman list of my own in celebration:

M. Hufstader said...

Epic list! I have to say, I might've put Samara up a little higher since that's one freaky fucking little girl, but I definitely agree that all those little girls are creeptastic. This post should probably also be called: 10 movies not to watch when you're pregnant.

Bunche (pop culture ronin) said...

It's all about Rhoda. Ever see the made-for-TV version of THE BAD SEED? David Carradine's performance as the handyman Rhoda torches is unintentionally hilarious.

John Bligh said...

I thought Alice in ALICE SWEET ALICE was actually framed in the movie?

While a creepy kid, she was innocent of murder. Or am I mis-remembering?

Either way, a great movie. It also had one of the creepiest obese child molesters in movie history.

Unknown said...

Love this list!!!

How'd the interview go with Jason from Yahoo? <3

Unknown said...

Great list & love the pic of that creepy little girl at the top. It was fun to be reminded of these movies.

Tempest Nightingale LeTrope said...

I always thought that creepy little girl from the 1977 film, The Haunting of Julia, was one of the worst. There was very little girl in the film, but that little shit made her way into my nightmares!

Mr. Xploit, Esquire said...

nice list! the poltergeist girl wasn't all that creepy though. and the poor girl died young, pretty sad.

timmyelliot said...

Wednesday from Addam's Family!

Mr. Reaper said...

Lilith Sullivan from Case 39!

Simran Possessed said...

Epic list!The poltergeist girl wasn't all that creepy though. and the poor girl died young, pretty sad.

Unknown said...

I think that the little girl from the Haunting of Julia was terrifying. You didn't really see much of her, though. She was more a psychological construct. I loved that movie. There was very little gore, and yet it was scarier than many over the top gruesome films.
I went to school with a girl who looked almost exactly like the girl from the original Bad Seed. She was actually a nice kid, but I couldn't help thinking of how much she looked like the fiendish Rhoda Penmark!

Karen Cooper, yes! Definitely the ultimate creepy little girl!

Anonymous said...

I'm named after Regan from the movie the exorist of all the names!

Iron Lion said...

You are sick, as well as the rest of the people that are applauding your blog. No, I'm not voicing an opinion, it is the unvarnished truth. You are sick in the mind, I suggest you seek psychological counseling. As sick minded, moral deprived, morons I suggest you listen to this bit of advice. Children, especially little girls are precious, innocent lives that we are obligated to uphold and cherish not get our cheap thrills off of turning them into the objects of horrific immoral goriness. So here, You are such an idiot. If you don't like kids why don't you go work at a nuclear reactor that's leaking and kills idiots every day. In case you are looking for something productive to do why don't you all go find some really tall places and jump off one by one to test the odds of surviving. I hate having to be around entitled adults that refuse to look past their own trailer park. I mean I know you can't afford a Jeep because you are too darn dumb to even now what a job is but break a leg once in a while, and a neck definitely once. If that does not change your mind the shooting range is short of live targets.

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