JEWISH HORROR DIRECTORS WORTH SCREAMING L'CHAYIM OVER

Shabbat Shalom Mothafuckaaas! In celebration of the start of the Festival of Lights and the return of The Vault of Horror and Brutal as Hell's Lucky 13 horror film spectaculathon, today, Day of the Woman is gettin' Torah style Horror up in here.  The Vault of Horror and Brutal as Hell were asking people to write posts on their favorite Jewish horror director, and I quite frankly can't pin-point just one.  I'll be the first to admit that when it comes to the backgrounds of my directors, I don't know jack.  I must have spent about forty-five minutes a'googalin' around teh interwebz looking for more than the three Jewish horror directors I could think of off the top of my head.  After my escapades around the triple-w, I just cut my losses and decided that instead of wearing myself thin about a ton of directors I could care less about, I've decided to just focus my time and energy on the three I feel most passionate about.

DAVID CRONENBERG

Okay, so I'm sort of splitting hairs on this one considering Cronenberg has denounced his Jewish faith and identifies himself as an Atheist.  Regardless, he was raised in a Jewish household and that's good enough for me.  Cronenberg is easily the king of venereal horror films.  No one can make a film as gruesomely intelligent as Cronenberg.  His films often times explored the fear factors humans possess when it comes to infection and bodily transformations.  Coming from someone with an uncontrollable fear of being diagnosed with Leprosy, he hits the nail on the head every. single. time.  A small little tidbit is that Cronenberg was considered to be the director for Return of the Jedi, I can honestly say that the world wouldn't have been able to handle that much awesome in one film, and the results would have been the equivalent to dividing by zero...so I guess it's a good thing he didn't pick up that job.  Cronenberg will forever be the king of body horror

ELI ROTH

Oh, Eli Roth, you sexy sexy bear jew, you.  As much as the world is fully aware of how much of a douchebag you are in real life, I can't take away the fact that you directed some of the most highly thought of horror films of the last decade.  Personally, I disliked Hostel, but I'd be a fool if I denied the fact that his films have developed an almost cult-like following.  Roth definitely has a fiery passion for the genre and for that, he has my respect.  As for his actions on twitter towards other horror journalists...he's on the fence ;)

SAM RAIMI

Alright, Sam Raimi is the God of my world.  He gave me our savior, Bruce Campbell, and his Necronomicon Ex Mortis serves as my Holy Word.  There is absolutely nothing that this man touches that didn't turn to perfection.  I'm including Spider-Man 3. There, I said it.