Wednesday, December 8, 2010
With vampire fever at an all time high, it seemed that every company was cranking out a vampire movie at the start of the new year. While some poor excuses for cinematic experiences were spoon-fed to us, there were the few that actually made a decent impact. Surprisingly enough, I was a large fan of the vampire flick Daybreakers. Go ahead, throw your stones, but I found it to bring something tastefully delightful to our fanged fiends and I'll watch anything with Willem DaFoe in it...I'm including Antichrist.
In contrast, the third installment of Twatlight was released, and sane persons everywhere were suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to self-inflict paper cuts on their eyelids. I'd be more excited for 2011 to bring the end of this shitstorm, but copying even MORE from the perfect wizard series...they've split the final chapter into two parts. May God have mercy on our souls.
Just a few short weeks ago, the horror world was forced to say good-bye to one of the original scream queens and undeniable queen of Hammer Horror. Ingrid Pitt, star of The Vampire Lovers, Countess Dracula, and Beyond the Rave, passed away on November 23rd, at the age of 73. My sincerest apologies for not doing a write-up on her earlier, but I've never been one to know what to say during a time of mourning.
Wanna know what won't fucking die? Twilight. Sorry, I know I mentioned it already, but I felt that making another statement might add a little emphasis. The day I can go without having to see some little "fangbanger" desiring some glitter to match their caterpillar brows, is a day that can not come soon enough.
In remake news, the remake of the classic slasher A Nightmare on Elm Street may have been one of the worst films ever made. Not only did they get their actors from the rejected audition tapes from High School Musical, but they screwed with the storyline, nay, THE HEART of Freddy Fucking Krueger to the point of no return. My God. I know the film industry hasn't been losing money to the economy problem THAT bad...but what would possess a person to destroy something so iconic and wonderful to such a degree? What was so horrid that happened to you as a child that garnered you the skill to ruin this?! I wish I could thank Jackie Earl Hayley, but I'm pretty sure he borrowed his voice from Christian Bale...yikes.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Let Me In wasn't awful. It pains me to admit that quite possibly the greatest horror film ever made, spawned a decently stellar remake. While it in no way compares to the brilliance of its predecessor, it did however earn Matt Reeves a gold star in my book.
Speaking of other delightful things that make me feel like cupcake sprinkles and pegasus feathers...THE SAW FRANCHISE HAS FINALLY DIED. I swear to God if this 3-D crap was an elaborate hoax to add more films...I'm crackin' skulls.