Wednesday, August 4, 2010

TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY: Vampires Suck

It has been a long time coming, and I have been waiting for this moment since 2005.  Boils and ghouls, there is finally a major motion picture coming out that is spoofing Twilight.  As much as it pains me to admit the people behind this film are the same "geniuses" behind Epic Movie, I am in full support of absolutely anything bashing on Twatlight.  Dread Central was the source that led me to the deliciously awful one-sheet for the film, and thus my conundrum.  You see, I know this poster is terrible.  It's probably one of the most poorly photoshopped, lit, and fonted poster I've seen in the last year and a half...but I can't hate it.  I can blatantly see all the problems with this poster, and I can't hate it.  Is this what I've come to?  Have I become so absolutely and utterly jaded towards everything Twatlight that I love even the terrible things making fun of it?  This may be the case, but putting my personal excitement over this film abomination aside, this poster is absolutely dreadful.

First of all, the photoshopping skills seriously must have been done with Crayola craft scissors.  I'm pretty sure I could bend the edges around all of the characters and it would look smoother than this does.  Every single person looks like they were superimposed into the positions they were in, and the fact that they're all in different lighting doesn't help the case at all.

The font is by far the WORST attribute of the one-sheet.  You'd think they'd be clever and mock the font of the films the same way they did for the trailers, but no.  They gave us what resembles Verdana aka-a standard Microsoft Word font.  I'm also not sure who thought it would be cool to use Electric Boogaloo looking graffiti in order to write "suck".  I think it would have looked a little more impacting had it just said "Vampires Suck".  Short, sweet, deep, I like it.

Basically, this poster sucks on ice.  I just wish I didn't have such a burning hatred for Twatlight, because then maybe, just maybe, I could hate this poster.  Sorry folks, better luck next time.

6 comment(s):

Spike Ghost said...

i can't believe i'm saying this, But this movie actually looks worse than Twilight. Completely uninspired, obviously made to make a quick buck with jokes that everyone knows about and have been made many times already (not that i'm tired of them, it's just not worth making a movie out of it). Anyone that greenlight movies for these two guys needs to be shot. And well, this poster reflects exactly what the movie will be, a pile of shit not worth much more than the source it's "parodying".

(though i probably would not be able to make much better... i need to get better seriously, i'm a piece of shit in that kind of stuff [im studying to be a graphic designer] i barely notice the lighting. I mean i know there is something kinda off with it, but it doesn't jump to my face, and it's actually something i have a hard time to do in photoshop, and for their cutting, they are still better than i am XD... anyway, finishing my ranting, sorry, i had to let it out and it seemed like the place)

Though i have to admit, the main actress seems more talented than Kristen Stewart, and again, cool post :D I love your terrible poster Tuesday :D

Anonymous said...

The film's already been leaked onto the internet, and oh boy BJ-C. If you think the poster sucks? Nothing can prepare you for the black hole of awful the film is. Like you, I'm a fan of bashing the Twatlight series (if anything, just to pick on my nephew who loves it. :) ), but this shit was painful!

I made it about 3 minutes in (where sparkly Edward strips to reveal a disco ball over his junk. Yeah, as amusing as it sounds) before I had to turn it off. And my God, I'll laugh at anything!

Chris

Spike Ghost said...

wow, i can,t believe how easy it is to find in streaming... not as bad as i expected, but still not worth of giving it mah money... thought the main actress was great at imitating Kristen Stewart's "acting" but with more expression, and Anneliese Van Der Pol is in this i think, the red head chick, she actually seems not bad (she was in that's so Raven but that's the only thing i ever saw her in before). Seriously i would love to see some of these actors in something better, the rest still suck poop. (and i got all that in 5 minutes lol cause i didn't go further than that.)

JennyB said...

Yikes! That is awful. I support anything that bashes on Twilight but this is just wrong.

http://memoirsofascreamqueen.blogspot.com/

p.s. Great site!

Rabid Fox said...

I find it amazing that these guys can keep getting money to make these horrible excuses for parodies. I think the last one I saw was Date Movie with Alyson Hannigan, and it made me weep for her.

Derek O'Brien said...

I hate Twilight. But I'm curious to know why others hate it (I know, what a can of worms that can be!)

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