Wednesday, June 23, 2010

CAMPING OUT FOR TWATLIGHT: A guest post by Billy Bitterman

So I'm not going to go on a massive rant about Twilight and how I hate it. That's my other half's job, and she's much more skilled at it than I am. But I would, however, like to bring this to your attention. Apparently a tent city has been set up in Nokia Plaza in LA so that at least 500 super fans can get a glimpse at Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, or that guy that never wears a shirt and is a dog at the premiere of The Twilight Adventure: Eclipse (or whatever it's called).

If this were Star Wars, it'd be a bunch of 30-something dudes reaching for Anthony Daniels

Now, I'm not one to rag on fanboys (or would it be mostly fangirls? fanpeople?) who camp out in anticipation to see a movie. I briefly considered it for The Dark Knight. I think it's a good opportunity to bring the fans together and have a good experience, not unlike a convention. But what rubs me the wrong way about this is that these campers aren't there for the movie. They're there to see the stars of the movie. They're there so they can watch a bunch of people walk by, flash a smile, maybe sign an autograph or two, and then go inside. That is what they're there for. Will they be invited in to watch the movie with them? Not likely. Will they at least be given t-shirts or something? Probably not. They are literally camping out to watch people walk past them.

Again, I'm not one to tell fans what they can and cannot do. I think Twilight is complete and utter shit in pretty much every single way. I think the fans are ridiculous for thinking that a) that shit is romantic in any way, b) the actors have any sort of chemistry whatsoever, and c) that a relationship that features a guy who watches you sleep could work out in any way. But they're fans regardless, and as such they're just as welcome to camp out for their shitty little movie as the rest of us. But come on, camping out to see the actors? That's a little much. I'm not saying that you can't go and see them when they're walking the red carpet, go right on ahead and don't forget your scissors so you can grab a bit of Rob's hair. But don't set up a fucking tent city for it! Honestly! And I say that because in the end it's likely that it won't end up being worth it. There's so many people there, you just might get a look at Taylor's spiked up hair, or one of Kristen's bland, emotionless stares. But you won't get to touch them, you won't get to talk to them, you probably won't even get an autograph.

If anybody reading this blog is out there right now, a bit of advice: Pack it in and go home. Seriously. It won't amount to anything, and your family will be less embarrassed of you.

Billy's House of Rambling

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