Tuesday, May 4, 2010

TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY: I Spit On Your Grave (2010)

It's no secret that I have an incredible fascination with I Spit on Your Grave (Day of the Woman). For the past year I've had a banner atop my page with the ever so beautiful Camille Keaton's ass. It was only recently that I've gone with another style. So when the new ISOYG poster came out, I was hoping I'd be able to fall in love all over again. Love? Not so much. Induced feeling of vomiting and putting thumbtacks under my fingernails and papercutting my eyelids? That's more like it.

First of all, when the HELL did Jennifer become Samara from The Ring or that chick who crawls down the stairs in The Grudge while imitating the sound of scraping the rest of the spaghetti-o's out of the can. I mean original Jennifer looked a little tore up after her "half hour of the movie" rape, but this chick looks like a zombie sewer rat woman.

Second, why is she using garden shears? The beautiful thing about the original was how simplistic her kills were. This is stepping into Saw territory and unnecessary torture. Not to mention that the scissors are all rusted and jacked. Jennifer is a hot city woman, would she really have mangled and rusty garden shears? I doubt that. Even if its some place she hadn't been in a while, I'm pretty sure she'd associate with people who took care of their appliances. This was just a cheap try at making it look creepy. Don't these people learn anything from Monsters Inc? BRUSH THOSE TEETH, SCARY MONSTERS DON'T HAVE PLAQUE! And shiny scissors are much more intimidating. Let us also note that her form is wrong. When handling shears like that, it's much more difficult to control. She'd be holding them differently...just saying.

The tagline. Oh god, the tagline. I'd like to first thank the creator for using the same font as Sorority Row which leads me to believe this remake is going to be just as good as that. For those unable to detect sarcasm...that means it's going to be an abortion. "It's Date Night?!" REALLY?! REALLY?!! That's all you could fucking come up with?! One of the most celebrated rape-revenge flicks in existence and it's being marketed as some teenage girl's revenge of the boy who left her on date night? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Whoever came up with that tagline deserves to be hung from a tree, sliced with a boat motor, and have their genitals cut off.

The wrong shade of red, the poor photoshop, and the overall look of this poster is appalling. I'm ashamed of the hits I'm going to gain for having a name associated with this film. I had a copy of the script and I wasn't all that worried about it sucking, but now I'm guaranteeing this film is going to make me angry enough to curb stomp strangers.

20 comment(s):

Planet of Terror said...

Seriously. Terrible terrible tagline. Obviously being marketing to the teeny bopper crowd much like most horror fare these days.

Cory said...

From the moment I heard that this was being remade, I was floored. If this is getting a theatrical release, there is no way that we can expect a faithful translation of the original film. a 30 minute rape scene is not going to be shown. It will most likely be told in a rapid fire, jittery, highly stylized flashback scene lasting about 3 minutes.
Also we can probably expect each of the kills to be preceded by a corny Freddyish one-liner.

Kid Sis said...

God dammit. Ugh. The ONE remake I wanted to direct...and Brea would've been a better choice as the lead, too. Fuckity fuck.

Interesting how they've again taken one of the few female protagonist movies out there and only focused on a male audience. This poster is all about the castration happening to the male viewing it. Way to take something horrible that happens to a woman every couple of hours in our country and still make it all about the man's experience.

"Date Night", by the way, is a euphemism for rape. We use it in my household a lot.

jay said...

Just because the poster sucks means nothing in regards to how good or bad the movie will be. The marketing department and the actual movie makers are generally far, far removed. The people designing the poster very likely haven't even SEEN the movie or the original. I wouldn't be surprised if there weren't even gardening shears in the movie at all.

A Nightmare On Samityville Street said...

Steven R. Monroe has officially murdered a piece of my soul with the release of this poster...

Strange Kid said...

Sooo freaking horrible. I mean, for starters, they couldn't even take a real photo of her with a weapon. Lame. Then, as you said they slop on some cheap Photoshop effects and a Z-grade tagline. Ugh.

I can remember I Spit on Your Grave as the first real exploitation/horror film I saw as a teenager and it all seemed so frightening realistic. But as great a film as it is, I don't really see any reason to remake it... not as if you could make it more brutal or poignant.

Simon said...

Oh. Ick.

elslily said...

If cannibal holocaust gets remade we are officially moving to space.


deal?

Tempest Nightingale LeTrope said...

Oh dear. That really is just plain awful. And I would like to slap senseless the moron that is equating rape with dating. Perhaps he is the sort of fellow described in the line in the song by the Squirrel Nut Zippers.
"If it wasn't for date rape, I'd never get laid."
In which case, he does need those garden shears taken to his "berries."

Rick Axtothefacenheimer said...

I really find the tag line to be distasteful and almost making a mockery of the rape aspect of the film. This is one of the worst posters I have ever seen and I have no hope whatsoever for the substance of the movie.

Edward said...

I followed the link on your twitter - managing to both miss the "(2010)" and forget that you had the original poster as the page header - and I was all ready to defend such a brilliant poster...

Then I saw that one. Eesh. It's not even good-bad, it's just crappy. Shame on them.

And the tagline.... Ewww.

Anonymous said...

I hate, hate, hate that they are remaking this movie. The original is one of my top 10 favorites. When I saw the trailer and poster I had to laugh. This remake is a joke.

Phantom of Pulp said...

Blood terrible poster! Truly abysmal. I had no idea that this was being remade. The original is only decent because of its harshness and lack of music and filmmaking polish. A remake is purposeless. Poster is so horribly generic. The original SPIT poster is iconic, and much better than the movie itself.

Cinema Suicide said...

Just a nitpick. That's not Camille Keaton on the original I Spit poster.

BJ-C said...

Regardless of who it is...it kicks the shit out of this poster.

Tower Farm said...

We at TOWER FARM love the original, too. Though, I'll bet no one likes it quite as much as you. This poster is definitely embarrassing.

JM

ZOMBIE HAYES said...

This poster is horrible, but don't write the movie off based on this poster. I was lucky enough to get to screen two exclusive clips this past weekend at the Texas Frightmare Weekend Film Fest. The clips they showed were excellent, and I am a huge fan of the original. The film is gritty, powerful, and violent, just like the original. I think you might be pleasently surprised once you actually see the film.

Cinema Suicide said...

Man... If you guys thought that poster was bad, the trailer doesn't make things any better. It is the worst thing I've seen all year. I'm no fan of the original, either. I think it's actually one of the most unpleasant movies I've ever seen. Did that movie really need a remake?

The Scream Queen said...

I am totally distressed over this remake taking place and this ridiculous poster makes it even worse. I am so tired of seeing everything classic get remade.

By the way, I love the original I Spit on Your Grave. I'm in the camp that's it's a badass feminist flick and should be left in it's original form. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

Sad to say, but I have never heard of this movie before until the remake came out. I then looked it up on Netflix to see the original movie, which I haven't rented yet. But what I can say is that I don't like this poster and how it seem to say it's okay to go on a date and rape a woman. That date rape is okay when it isn't. This women seem to be about this woman who was rape by many men and in the end they all got what they deserve. The poster needs to be redone correctly. It about a woman and not a man.

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