It's no secret that I have an incredible fascination with I Spit on Your Grave (Day of the Woman). For the past year I've had a banner atop my page with the ever so beautiful Camille Keaton's ass. It was only recently that I've gone with another style. So when the new ISOYG poster came out, I was hoping I'd be able to fall in love all over again. Love? Not so much. Induced feeling of vomiting and putting thumbtacks under my fingernails and papercutting my eyelids? That's more like it.
First of all, when the HELL did Jennifer become Samara from The Ring or that chick who crawls down the stairs in The Grudge while imitating the sound of scraping the rest of the spaghetti-o's out of the can. I mean original Jennifer looked a little tore up after her "half hour of the movie" rape, but this chick looks like a zombie sewer rat woman.
Second, why is she using garden shears? The beautiful thing about the original was how simplistic her kills were. This is stepping into Saw territory and unnecessary torture. Not to mention that the scissors are all rusted and jacked. Jennifer is a hot city woman, would she really have mangled and rusty garden shears? I doubt that. Even if its some place she hadn't been in a while, I'm pretty sure she'd associate with people who took care of their appliances. This was just a cheap try at making it look creepy. Don't these people learn anything from Monsters Inc? BRUSH THOSE TEETH, SCARY MONSTERS DON'T HAVE PLAQUE! And shiny scissors are much more intimidating. Let us also note that her form is wrong. When handling shears like that, it's much more difficult to control. She'd be holding them differently...just saying.
The tagline. Oh god, the tagline. I'd like to first thank the creator for using the same font as Sorority Row which leads me to believe this remake is going to be just as good as that. For those unable to detect sarcasm...that means it's going to be an abortion. "It's Date Night?!" REALLY?! REALLY?!! That's all you could fucking come up with?! One of the most celebrated rape-revenge flicks in existence and it's being marketed as some teenage girl's revenge of the boy who left her on date night? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Whoever came up with that tagline deserves to be hung from a tree, sliced with a boat motor, and have their genitals cut off.
The wrong shade of red, the poor photoshop, and the overall look of this poster is appalling. I'm ashamed of the hits I'm going to gain for having a name associated with this film. I had a copy of the script and I wasn't all that worried about it sucking, but now I'm guaranteeing this film is going to make me angry enough to curb stomp strangers.