THE WOMEN OF FREDDY KRUEGER

When you think kid raping, child murderering, christmas sweater wearing, Wolverine looking, burn victim would be such a ladies' man. Yet, somehow Wes Craven has made one of the most iconic and horrific slashers to be linked to so many different women. Whether it's a woman who knows exactly how to stop him, the victim he can't seem to catch hold of, or even his daughter, Freddy Krueger just doesn't have the best luck when it comes to girls. You'd think that the main protagonists would be powerful male figures, but Freddy seems to have quite the kryptonite for angry vagina yielding final girls. He can slash and dash through any ol' pubescent boy, but it seems that teenage girls are the ones to overpower him. I felt that a proper tribute for good ol' Freddy in honor of the release of the remake/reboot/reinvention of the film that introduced us to the razor fingered dream reaper, would be to talk about those that seem to know just what to do when put face to face with Fred Krueger.

MAGGIE
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Dr. Maggie Burroughs, you naiive little twat. You almost had us. You almost had us believe that the poor sexual assault victim from Springwood was the main character, but someone must have read a book by M. Night Shamalyahymen because WHAM! Halfway through the film we figure out that YOU my dear are the one we should have been following. It isn't until we're delivered an Ike Turner style beating when Maggie discovers she's the daughter of Fred Kruegar that we even give half a crap about the character. Out of all the girls, she seems to be my least favorite. However, she gets the liberty of delivering a "fateful" pipe bomb to dear ol' dad and killing Freddy "once and for all". LISA

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

The power-bang and huge earring goddess known as Lisa Webber was the second girl to give Freddy a run for his money. While her closet case boyfriend Jesse was being used as a human shell for Freddy Krueger, poor Lisa was caught trying to remember that her oh-so beautiful beau was being possessed by a baby raping-child murderer. She's the one who finds Nancy Thompson's dream diary, and the one who ultimately figures out how to get the knife handed killer out of her boyfriend's body. Kudos Lisa, kudos.

KIRSTEN

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors & 4: The Dream Master

You'd think after a while Freddy would get sick of brunettes with frizzy hair. Turns out, he was. In 3 and a bit of 4, we are given Kirsten the sleek tressed blonde. Thanks for mixing it up a bit. Kirsten lasts two movies in the NOES series and endures the start of when Freddy went from creepy to campy. She survived not just a horrible one-line giving Freddy, but also a Freddy who was part animorph. Poor girl was even half eaten by a Freddysnake! Oh yeah, she's a ninja/gymnast/telepathic too.ALICE

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors & 4: The Dream Master
“Welcome to Wonderland, Alice!” Believe it or not, Alice was actually Freddy’s most powerful nemesis in the entire series. That’s right, they didn’t call her The Dream Master for nothing, people. Lisa Wilcox plays Alice in both Nightmare 4 and 5, and lives to tell the tale! Pretty rare, but makes sense, since she’s presented as the one character whose dream powers are equal to that of Mr. Krueger. Plus, in Part 4 she gets one of the best suit-up scenes this side of Rambo. Effing ay.NANCY THOMPSON
ALL OF THEM
Oh darling Nancy. You big haired, busy eyebrowed, expressionless final girl, you. Regardless of what film Freddy is in, Nancy plays a major role in all of them. This is the woman that started it all. She's mentioned in every single film and holds the title of one of the best final girls. She's the first one to not get lucky when running from her masked villain. Nancy was the first to plot, think, and put into action how she was going to survive. We salute you Nancy Thompson as the BEST girl to ever come out of the NOES series.

AND BECAUSE I'M SORT OF AWESOME
I've made you all a darling little video.
Enjoy.