Tuesday, April 20, 2010


It's been such a long time since I've had the opportunity to really just lay into a particularly awful poster. Recent events however have fueled me with a massive hell-fire that needs to be let out, and luckily enough for you fabulous Womanizers...I'm taking it out TPT style.

Oh Jean Gray, what have you done to yourself? Actually, let me rephrase that...Oh idiots who think they know how to photo edit, what have you done to Jean Gray? I know it's extremely hard to tell by the wax figure of Famke Janssen ironed onto this poster, but that is our beloved. What the hell did they do to her? Either she's standing entirely too close to a fire, or she's been going to the same tanning salon as Snooki. My god, I'm waiting for Gene Wilder to beckon her with a flute. I'm assuming they were trying to make her appear scary, but she just looks like a five year old couldn't find the peach crayon so they tried to lightly use the orange/red one. Good try, but anyone past Kindergarten can tell you, it's just not the same.

I'd also like to acknowledge the extremely weird background. I think they cut and pasted the rejected Jessica Alba "Eye" poster and reused it to make this one. Not only does it look stupid, but the eye isn't even scary. It's not making eye contact with the audience, it's half open, and just looks sort of bored. Maybe if the eye were looking at her or at us it would have some sort of effect, but it honestly just looks like a window that happens to be shaped like an eye.

Her name is in the most awkward place imaginable and the font is so overused it makes me want to vomit. However, I can't even complain that much because the tagline is so bad, you can't even read it unless you're practically doing the poster. Yet, after squinting and groping the poster to read the tagline, you're left with a big flaming bag of disappointment as the tagline is one of the stupidest expressions ever heard. "Til Death Do Us Part Wasn't Enough?" What does that even mean?! It doesn't tell us anything about the script other than she has a weirdo husband. Call a priest and move on with your life, jeeze.

7 comment(s):

Simon said...

I hate that kind of photoshopping. This really is awfule.

Have you looked at the Kate Hudson film posters? Because those are fucking bad.

A Nightmare On Samityville Street said...

Agreed. Pathetic poster, especially for a horror film.

Check out the retarded Romanian Photoshop job for 'Anaconda 3':


TS Hendrik said...

That's pretty awful. That tagline alone is an abomination.

Andre Dumas said...

This movie was godawful! And clearly the poster was a great indicator of this.

Tempest Nightingale LeTrope said...

I am unsure why, but for some unholy reason, the expression in the eye makes me think that it has just looked down to spy a squashed rat. The fact that I had this thought disturbs me, probably far more than the movie ever would.

Unknown said...

I actually really liked the movie even with the horrible title and poster (thank you instant netflix!).

Hot sex scene AND death scene with Ed Westwick. And a cool woman-centric plot that had a real-world point.

Meredith Red said...

Just fyi, that was NEVER an official poster. Just some awful flyer that the foreign distributer made before the movie had been completed. Here's a link to the poster of the film: http://moviestudio.wordpress.com/2009/08/27/100-feet-2008/
DVD cover:

I will be watching this tonight for Halloween! Good scares!

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