Tuesday, January 5, 2010

WHAT TOOK THE RETURN OF SWAMP MONSTERS SO LONG?!

As much as it pains my little zombie loving heart to admit it, 2009 was truly the year of the Vampire. Although I firmly believe that the aught's were the decade of the return of zombie, we have seen return of just about every monster of the Golden age. Brenden Fraiser and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson brought back "The Mummy" monster in 1999 and into the early aughts. The 80's had An American Werewolf in London/Paris as well as a revival of the Werewolf later on with Ginger Snaps and Dog Soldiers. The Frankenstein monster has been revived, remade, and recreated throughout pop culture so many times it's out of control and of course Count Dracula will always be a staple of horror culture. I want to know however, WHERE ARE MY SWAMP MONSTERS?!

Creature from the Black Lagoon was probably one of the most iconic films of the Golden Age and brought as a monster completely different from the typical vampires/wolf men/frankensteins of the day. He was creepy, crawly, slimy, and lived in an area that we have all seen before. The "Gill-Man" used to freak me out to no end, and living on the Lake Michigan shores made it even creepier to have my 6 year old mine imagine this creature coming out from the water and taking me back with him.

The Gill-man is fully amphibious capable of breathing both in and out of the water. As shown in the first film, it is vulnerable to rotentone (a type of insecticide). He also has an insane amount of superhuman strength, which is exploited in the second and third films of the "creature" series. He also possesses large, webbed hands with sharp claws on the tip of each finger. It's like Aqua Man meets Freddy Kruegar. The Gill-man's scaly skin acts as a shield, which combined with a fast acting healing power, allows it to survive wounds which would be fatal to humans, such as gunshots and full immolution. Basically, Wolverine's power. However, every creature has to have some sort of kryptonite and The Gill-man is slightly photophobic due to its murky water habitat.

The Mad Monster Party did include a tribute to the Creature From the Black Lagoon, but lets be honest...Boris Karloff was in it, they didn't forget any of the classics.

In the 80's Wes Craven gave us the film Swamp Thing which is arguably a rough remake of the original. (and arguably centered around Adrienne's rack). While giving us very original ways of creating the monster, he's inspired by the DC comics swamp monster which was inspired by the Creature from the Black Lagoon. No matter how you try to wrap your head around it. You have to agree with me on it.

After this film and its sequel made its run, it seemed that we never heard from the swamp creature ever again. Even popular children's cartoons forget about the swamp monster. Hell, the swamp thing from Scooby-Doo was a Chernobyl victim looking submarine man with some ivy on him.


NOTE: I DO NOT CONSIDER THE HOMESICK ABORTION THAT WAS THE COMPLETELY PHALLIC/PENETRATING/LAME MAN-THING. DON'T EVEN COMPARE IT TO SWAMP THING OR CFTBL. THAT MOVIE WAS ABOUT AS SUCCESSFUL AS PLAYING HOPSCOTCH WITH AN AMPUTEE.


Recently, there have been talks and rumors of people remaking CFTBL as well as Swamp Thing, and my question is this...WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! The Swamp Monsters are some of the coolest looking creatures to make and with today's technology, these films would be visually astounding and scary as hell. Filmmakers, you're slacking.

2 comment(s):

Andre said...

B-Sol gave you the same award that I have- which only means you are double the greatness : ) plus I talked about your boobs a little- hope you enjoy the dedication. hehehe

hagiblog said...

Sweet, haven't seen CFTBL since I was little on some Sunday morning monster movie show. I wouldn't mind seeing that get remade now.

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