Sunday, January 31, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. HARKER


A very VERY Happy Birthday to my first gal-pal in the horror blogging world,
Ms. Harker of Musings Across A Continuum
Hope your birthday is Fang-Banging my love!!!
Show her some birthday love on her site!

GO HERE!

Friday, January 29, 2010

WOMEN IN HORROR MONTH IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER...

I won't lie to you, this picture is just an edited one I took of myself after my shower. The makeup, is in fact what came off in the shower and smeared all over my face. Any female who wears waterproof makeup looks the exact same way after it :) Anyway, Women in Horror Month is next month and DotW FINALLY has something to do. I actually have three things!
As voted on by you, you've voted for me to expose my "sorority belonging to, high fashion wearing, department store makeup only rockin, yet will drink you under the table", best friends to horror films. Yes, as much as I'd love to say I only hang out with equally as horror nerdy females...I only talk to them through the interwebz. My friends are in fact the dreaded prom queens, sorority girls, cheerleaders even...and I'm going to lock them in a room with myself and a horror movie of my choice. Whenever women on the internet give there opinions on horror films, they tend to be people like myself, you know...nerds. However, what about the opinions of the women who would trade in a shitty Nicholas Sparks adaptation or something starring Anne Hathaway over Bruce Campbell and buckets of blood? Well...WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT!

Tied with the first option is "What if ____ was a woman?" The idea was given to me a while back by B-Sol @ The Vault of Horror. Basically, I'm going to take a beloved horror character that is a man, and I'm going to tell you what it would be like if he was actually a woman. Some of the entries will be serious, but some will mostly be parodied and very stereotypical...because that's fun :D
So I know all of you have seen this picture many times, but what you may not know is that this look was created with makeup I got from Walmart. Not even costume makeup. It's all normal makeup :D Eyeshadows and the sorts. While it may have lost the poll, I was asked personally by a few female horror bloggers to still do this, so I figured...what the hell! Let's do it!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

AN AMAZING ZOMBIE PORTRAIT OF BJ-C!


AMAZING Zombie Artist Chris Zenga chose yours truly along with B-Sol & John (yes Zombo's Closet John) to be models for some absolutely incredible zombie portraits. I'm absolutely honored to be considered a model for this incredibly talented artist's phenomenal work.

SUPPORT HIM BELOW!!

Gallery -http://thedayafterartgallery.blogspot.com/

Re-Animation Shop - http://www.redbubble.com/people/chriszenga

Blog - http://thedayafterart.blogspot.com/

KNOW HOW SOMETIMES PEOPLE ACT LIKE CHARACTERS THEY READ IN A BOOK?

www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

WOMAN OF THE WEEK 2.0: Zelda Rubenstein


"Cross over children. All are welcome. Go into the Light. There is peace and serenity in the Light." RIP Zelda Rubenstein 1933 -2010

This week, we are featuring a woman with arguably one of the most recognizable voices in the horror industry. [except maybe that of Jigsaw]. Character actress Zelda Rubinstein is one of those actresses that "everyone knows, but doesn't know who she is." It's about time we paid attention to a true talent, and a downright sweet woman. While she's best known as playing the off-beat medium Tangina Barrons in the Poltergeist series. She also has contributed many other roles and voice overs in the horror world.

Standing proud at a towering 4'0", Zelda was originally working in the medical field. She was hired for a few commercials but because of her very "different" voice, she was picked up as a regular on The Flintstones. She auditioned for the role in Poltergeist and made the role Tangina the iconic character she has become. I'm sure that people all over the place could hear the quote "This house is clean" and instantly think of her. Her haunting little voice gave her character a dose of terrifying, with a hint of sweet.

She did an episode of the cult classic television show Tales From The Crypt where she portrayed a mother of a daughter who has been dead for over 40 years. She did a few little small time movies here or there and even reprised her role as a psychic in the cult classic film Teen Witch. She plays a psychic witch who trains another girl who is in fact a witch. Gives her spells to make her more popular, you know, the usual.

Then one of my absolute favorite shows EVER aired on public television. Hosted by Linda Blair and narrated by Zelda Rubinstein, Scariest Places on Earth showed around the Halloween season for 6 years. When the show started to fall and the hauntings didn't seem real anymore, [maybe because the crew admits to staging events...]the one thing that kept the spook was Rubinstein's eerie voice telling tales of horror.

HARRY POTTER + SHAUN OF THE DEAD = EPIC WIN

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

VOTE DAY OF THE WOMAN IN THE BLOODY-DISGUSTING HORROR BLOGGER AWARDS


I won't be harassing as much as I did for Ms. Horror Blogosphere...since I DON'T HAVE A COMPUTER

so please. do me a favor and spread the word :D

Monday, January 25, 2010

TECHNOLOGICAL HORROR: WHY CAN'T WE CONQUER YOU?!

And so it begins...my first entry from the computer lab. Luckily, we're a mac school so I can iChat and tweetdeck while I do this. It's just like old times! The past week I have been realizing just how much I rely on my technology and how much I'd rather hang from the Sears Tower by my ankles than to sit in this god forsaken computer lab for an hour longer. Alas! I love you all enough to suffer through the poor connection and the fact I can't watch Chelsea Lately while I write. Anyway, it's brought to my attention how much of an Epic Fail the film industry has been committing as far as technological horror films are concerned. When I say technological horror, I'm not referring to hyped up star ships or Terminators, but rather the things that we use on a day to day basis. Where are the literal blue screens of death, where it doesn't matter if you're red or blue...YOU HAVE NO MAP, websites that kill you (and aren't feardotcom), DVD torture, RED RING OF DEATH?! Come on now! Why can't we tackle this yet? We've tried effortlessly and yet we keep cranking out these horror films that suck six ways to Sunday.

PHONES:
I did a showcase of phones in horror films, but if you recall correctly, the only good examples of them were land lines. Cell phones are one of the greatest tools invented and being only 19, it blows my mind how people went on without them in the first place. They're extremely vital to our lifestyles at this point and if something were to ever go horribly wrong with them, we'd all be fucked. The only cell phone film that made any sort of impact was One Missed Call which arguably is a god awful film. The potential was great because I can tell you if my phone rang and it wasn't my ringtone, I'd lose my freaking mind. The movie was completely overtaken by that stupid red ball thing and just really took me out of the film because it was less about cell phones (which is what I was promised) and more about the stupid back story. What about text messaging? There's nothing creepier than getting a text message from an unknown number saying something threatening or weird. Maybe its a generational thing, but I get at least one weird text message a week and every single time...I lose my mind and start becoming absurdly paranoid. ZE INTERWEBZ

For the amount of time people spend on the internet blogging, tweeting, e-mailing, and facebook creeping; you'd think we'd have figured out a way to make it scary. The internet is a really screwy place and creating a horror based around the internet shouldn't be that difficult...key word being shouldn't. There was that movie about chain mail...STUPID. Feardotcom? STUPID. The Net wasn't exactly horror but it was still pretty weird. Oh, and then there was Untraceable which was sort of decent but spawned one of THE WORST horror film posters of all time. I'm waiting for the facebook creeper movie...I'll write it, hell I'll STAR in it...because it will basically be an autobiography at this point of my life. Cry_Wolf is the closest example of what I'm looking for...and that's not saying a whole lot.


VIDEO GAMES
Alright Frankie Muniz, I know you are so awesome and that Malcom in the Middle is the ONLY person to save the day in the horror world with your magic computer that miraculously picks up a wireless signal outside a house in the middle of nowhere that's been abandoned for years while you can't get cellphone reception and all that jazz...but ROSES?! What the french is this?! Stay Alive is one of the few video game inspired horror films and its the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Then again, I should give them credit for trying. At least they didn't go huge budget and fail like Gamer.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Macbook Madness...


BJ-C's computer has turned to the dark side, and she unfortunately had to send it in to Apple High Command for repairs. Rest assured that once it returns to her possession tomorrow, posts will resume with customary regularity. Thank you, that is all.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I FINALLY SENT IN MY MACBOOK


Needless to say, my heart is breaking. So my posts will be SERIOUSLY out of control and random for the next few days. My sincerest apologies.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

WOMEN IN HORROR MONTH


Yes, that face DOES in fact bring all the boys to the yard.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

WOMAN OF THE WEEK: Hazel Court

Yes, this is a sparatic post from my campus' computer lab! Yay! I'm getting plenty of awkward stares as I shuffle through horror blogs and the like, but you know what...screw 'em! I'm awesome, and they're jealous. This edition of WotW showcases a woman that I feel left us too soon. She's my favorite red head next to Lucielle Ball and my sister. The first pinup girl for the Hammer Horror franchise was only in two films for the company! She was named number 11 on The Vault of Horror & Day of the Woman's 20 Hottest Women of Horror, and by the looks of that picture alone, I'm sure you know why. Her autobiography published shortly after her death was called Horror Queen, and that's exactly what she was.

Despite her long career on both sides of the Atlantic, many film fans know of Hazel Court only from appearances in such productions as The Masque of the Red Death and The Raven. But Miss Court is far more than just someone who once appeared in a Vincent Price movie. The purpose of this page is to call attention to the other aspects of her long and varied career.

A promising British starlet in the 1940s and early 1950s, Court hit her stride appearing in crime dramas and mysteries--even appearing in several of them with her then-husband Dermot Walsh. In 1954, she starred in the offbeat English sci-fi flick Devil Girl from Mars, and before long was specializing in horror pictures. Court was the female lead in two early Hammer productions: The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) and The Man Who Could Cheat Death (1959). In the former, she played Elizabeth, fiance to Peter Cushing's Dr. Frankenstein.

Later, she starred alongside the likes of Vincent Price, Boris Karloff and Peter Lorre in three of Roger Corman's classic Edgar Allen Poe adaptations, Premature Burial (1962), The Raven (1963) and The Masque of the Red Death (1964). In between her Hammer and Corman stints, she topped the 1961 British cult favorite Doctor Blood's Coffin.
Perhaps it was her experience with Corman--in addition to her marriage to American actor Don Taylor--that encouraged Court to relocate to Hollywood in 1964. From that point on, focused on raising her daughter Sally (who, incidentally, played her as a child in Curse of Frankenstein). She also did occasionally work in television, appearing on shows like The Twilight Zone, The Wild Wild West and Mission: Impossible. In 1981, she made one final film appearance, an uncredited walk-on in Omen III: The Final Conflict (a horror picture, naturally). (thevaultofhorror.net)


She was a redheaded, leggy, green-eyed dansel who was an iconic film actress and a pinup girl in England in the 1950s, and who went on to make dozens of guest appearances on American television. Hazel Court had a long and varied professional life, including a second career as a sculptor. However it was her cleavage and screaming that made her the Scream Queen that we all know and love her as.

I HATE MY COMPUTER


My hard drive crashed.
Expect sparatic posts from my dorm computer lab!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

CAESAR AND OTTO'S SUMMER CAMP MASSACRE: THE BEST WORST HORROR FILM STARRING FELISSA ROSE SINCE SLEEPAWAY CAMP

I usually have a very strict rule with myself not to review films on DotW because I don't want this to be a strictly review site. However, every once in a while I'm compelled to speak my mind about something I've seen. Usually it gives me an opportunity to completely rip apart some awful film, or completely gloat about how cool I am for seeing a film before you. This is one of those films were I feel compelled to say I SAW IT BEFORE YOU DID! Okay, in all honesty, I threw this film a shout out on my vacations & horror post and I hadn't ever seen it. I had heard good things about it and knew it was an indie film so I figured I'd throw some traffic there way. It did get me in contact with the director David Campfield who was generous enough to send me a copy of this fantastically, awfully, ridiculously, campy (sort of) horror flick. He wrote me a little note saying that "its more of a goofball comedy than horror" and he wasn't kidding. I laughed at pretty much everything that happened, and the fact there was some slaughter made me love it even more. If you aren't some film snob who expects PERFECT film making and can't relax and take a joke (but done properly unlike some stupid overly awarded indie vampire films), then this film is not for you.

The first thing I must bring up that this film is in NO way a horror film. When you see it, do not expect jump scares, monsters, an insane demon killer, or compare it to anything Evil Dead. This is more so a comedy film that just happens to have some slasher bits in a summer camp. It's as if Sleepaway Camp took everything humorous about it, played it up over the top like a Drag Queen on speed, and then made sweet sweet love to a bottle of corn syrup and some latex. THAT is what this film truly is. I don't want to say the film is bad, but let's be completely honest...it's not winning an Oscar anytime soon. Yet, the film is just so ridiculous its hard not to love everything about it. From the overacted voice, to the ridiculous amount of gore in the first 5 seconds, to the fact that Felissa Frickin' Rose is playing in another summer camp movie, the film is a laugh riot a minute.

The two main characters remind me so much of Harry and Lloyd it hurts. We have the scrawny over confident kid with dark nerdy hair, and the lazy fat guy with whacked hair who's weak to his gothic "girlfriend". The fact that this Lebowski looking dude agreed to do this film with his gut hanging out for most of the film earns him a gold star in my book. The comedy contrast between the two of them is truly magical and a riot to watch. Caesar is played by David Campfield himself and I am in LOVE with the character. The fact that he gets in a fight with the mentally handicapped brother of the police chief who uses a pinwheel (and a water gun) as a weapon...fucking brilliant. Caesar is just campy enough to not be annoying and everytime he opens his mouth I normally burst out in laughter. I really would love to see the character development notes on him, because I can only imagine the inspirations Campfield took to make this character.

Then there's that whole Felissa Rose thing that is too epic to put into words. So you'll have to see the flick for yourself for that one :)



Now, I've been around the horror block a few times and I've been seeming to find that amongst my colleagues, I'm the minority. Then again, I love some of the worst things I've ever seen. So while I may be obsessed with it, keep in mind that I also believe that Hard Rock Zombies is life altering. So if you don't like it, keep your pitchforks at home. It's not meant to be everyone's cup of tea, but it sure as hell is a whole pot of awesomeness to me :)

Monday, January 18, 2010

COMING SOON!



Hello darlings, I'm moving back into the dorms and my semester is starting so as always, I'm on a slight hiatus until I get situated. Some things you can look forward to seeing are...

  • A GRACE debate with I Love Horror's Brad McHargue
  • Another fantastic edition of Horror Hackdown
  • A review for Ceasar & Otto's Summer Camp Massacre
  • A list of "Women in Horror who shaped my existence"
  • &&
  • MUCH MUCH MORE!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Lady Gaga: Pop Idol or Horrific Genius?

(I'm not neglecting you, my computer hates me. I'm getting it fixed when I get back to school tomorrow)
I admit proudly that I'm OBSESSED with Lady Gaga. She's by far the most interesting performer in a long while, her songs are catchy as hell, and if you haven't seen her piano work YOU SHOULD, because she's a flipping genius. While she may be an exploding pop/club/gay community sensation, she's also horrifying and creepy. Inspired by The Divemistress' fantabulous post about her "Paparazzi" video, I've decided to showcase some of Lady Gaga's most horrific moments

I want your psycho...If the nurses in Silent Hill liked black...She likes them skinny.Attack of the 50 Foot Fame Monster!Big Bird + Saw + Christmas Wreath = This
Hi, I'm Max...ITS RUMPUS TIME!I think this is what Kings of Leon meant when they said "Your Sex Is On Fire" I mean, I use razorblades to make my sunglasses tooCarrie...OF THE FUTURE!Argentino would have been so touched.I still can't figure out how the hell she walked in that.It may not be King Kong...but Kanye is a big enough douchebag to be a monster stealing a blonde.Note there are fang marks...Edward Cullen, you are NOT the father.Linnea Quigley...watch your back babe.







Wednesday, January 13, 2010

PUKE-A-PALOOZA: THE BEST VOMIT IN HORROR


So Andre Dumas of The Horror Digest has two big fears in this world. Sharks and Vomit. It may sound a little crazy, but somehow she agreed to do a collaboration with me about the best vomit moments in horror history. Maybe we'll make me sit through stuff I hate and do a list of eye trauma, or clowns, lawn ornaments (gnomes) or catching leprosy. Luckily, she's only afraid of real life vomit (and some child scarring scenes from The Sandlot) and sharks don't vom all that often :). Vomit is gross and sick and no one likes it and yet no one really talks about it! So Andre and I are bringing you the greatest instances of vomit known to mankind!
* ** ***
WARNING: THESE PICTURES ARE GROSS.
LIKE, VOMIT INDUCING GROSS.
LAST CHANCE
***
**
*
Okay, can't say I didn't warn you...

MOST RESOURCEFUL VOMIT: Vomit of Brundlefly

Every now and then vomit wakes up and comes to realize it's full potential. In the case of Brundlefly, vomit becomes the only way that he can properly eat- and it also serves as an impromptu self defense tactic. You know when a fly lands on a piece of food and it instantly vomits so that the acid can break the food down making it possible to digest? Well imagine that magnified to the nines and then instead of food picture human flesh and.....VOILA! The most deadly form of vomit known to man- well done Brundlefly!

MOST ICONIC VOMIT: Pea Soup Vomit of Demon Regan.

When people think of The Exorcist they immediately think of the Fuck Jesus scene and of projectile pea soup vomit. It's really only more proof that demons are the smartest beings known to man (second maybe only to Velociraptors) - because no one really likes being spewed on. Unfortunately the priest was a little too good at keeping his cool- so that was a bit of a bad luck on the demons part. However this scene also proves that projectile demon vomit can be easily substituted as a weapon in times of great political uprising.

BEST USE OF MISCHA BARTON VOMIT: Vomit of Ghost Mischa Barton.

Remember when the O.C. first debuted and everyone flipped out because they realized that "hottie" Marissa Cooper was the scary little girl from the Sixth Sense? Sadly the scene survives today as Mischa Barton's best acting role to date. However, this particular vomit while extremely thick and pasty looking also had the strange effect of making us feel really sad once we understood why she was vomiting. It's a rare occurence. Also- since when can ghosts puke?

MOST UPSETTING INSTANCE OF VOMIT: Vomit of Asami in Dog Bowl.

It's common knowledge- well at least to myself- that Eihi Shiina is a hardcore method actress. This of course means that she insisted upon actually throwing up into the dog bowl before feeding it to her victim. That to me is 100 times more frightening than any of the subsequent torture scenes. Also I always wondered if any jokester's were feeling saucy and switched the fake dog bowl of vomit with the real one. That could possibly be a fate worse than death. While no one may enjoy getting thrown up on- I'm pretty sure no one would ever want to eat a steaming bowl of vomit. While we are on the subject however- would you rather eat pea soup demon vom or the milky white vom of Asami? Tough call.

BEST SECRET WEAPON VOMIT: Vomit of Tortured Paxton.

Paxton taught us a lot of things- but perhaps the most useful lesson was; if you are ever being tortured just puke on the floor so that your torturer slips on it while trying to slice you in half with a chainsaw. That Paxton can sure think on his feet. Also bonus points for having a ball gag actually make you gag. That's what they're there for am I right?

MOST JUSTIFIED OFF CAMERA VOMIT: Vomit of Timmy.

Let's face it. Who wouldn't vomit all over the place if a T-Rex was trying to eat you? Not to mention that after that close call, Timmy almost got crushed to death by the car, and then sent over the ledge to his doom- only to be stuck in a giant tree, teetering on a branch- ready to come crashing down at any moment. I'm honestly surprised that Timmy didn't also shit and piss his pants while vomiting. That alone is an accomplishment.

THE SO MUCH VOMIT, IT MUST BE KING: Pie Eating Contest Scene in Stand By Me

While it may serve no purpose to the film other than to make everyone feel incredibly uncomfortable and make fat Jerry O'Connel have a moment of glory, there's so much projectile vomit its almost hard to sit through. This scene may take the cake...err...pie when it comes to ralphing scenes. Couldn't they have done it goonies style and just have the fat kid imitate it rather than show about 50 people puking up blue ribbon rhubarb pies on each other? Never...it wouldn't be stephen king then.

Most Finger Lickin' Good Vomit: Zombie chicken eating scene in Poultrygeist

If PETA ever made a horror film to expose the dangerous side effects of the General's chicken...I'm pretty sure it would look something like this. Poultrygeist is already one of the whackiest films I've ever watched, but it does have one hell of a group vomit scene. Vomming on boyscouts, breasts, bikers, and buckets of chicken are exactly the targets I'm looking for when yuking, and thanks to these fine folks I'll have ALL of these options! It's okay though, if vomming isn't your thing..you can lay a zombie chicken egg. It's cool.

BEST EXAMPLE OF PUKING YOUR GUTS OUT: City of the Living Dead

Lucio Fulci may in fact be the sickest and coolest motherfrencher to ever make a movie. Not only does this poor chick bleed from the eyes and literally puke her guts out, but she has no control over it! Could you imagine just hanging out in your boyfriend's car when suddenly you start bleeding from the eyes and pouring your intestines and organs out of your mouth? How freaking embarassing. I mean I wig out when I have something in my teeth, but pouring your stomach out of your mouth is just so NOT attractive.

BEST VOMIT THAT LOOKS LIKE PROTEIN: Chocolate Chip Charlie in The Stuff

So when we die, we apparently shit ourselves. That's incredibly awful and such, but what about puking up what looks like jizz while your head deforms and falls off in half? Chocolate Chip Charlie was that awesome stereotypical urban character but NOOOOO he had to eat "The Stuff", and what happens? He pukes out some white nasty vomit and his head rips itself in half. Way to go dumbass. You were the best character. Ugh.

BEST VOMIT CAUSED BY A RED HEADED STEPCHILD: The Rollercoaster Scene in Problem Child 2

So it isn't horror...screw me, this kid was a bow tie away from being a killer kid. However he speeds up a roller coaster and induces a puke fest from a bunch of over sugared children. For someone like Andre, this could be disasterous. I mean, I've seen drunken puke sessions in my presence but if some rotten ass ginger kid caused a fat kid in a striped shirt to puke on me when I'm trying to enjoy a bootleg carnival ride...I'm going to be a little more than pissed.

SPECIAL MENTIONS TO:
So good it's real Vom: Cannibal Holocaust- Real Vom during turtle murder.

Too horrible to Talk About Vom- Tamara: Advanced Bulemia takes it's toll, ends up looking like dog poop mixed with blood.

Real Life Vom (too scary for me) Hatchet: Adam Green wanted real vomit so Joel Moore delivered--with two takes.

Best Milk Spitting Demon Vom on Record: The Evil Dead- Enuf said.

I can't believe she didn't Vom Vomit---Migg's Jizz on Clarice's Face.

GO DIRECTLY TO THE HORROR DIGEST
DO NOT PASS GO
DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS
GO!

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