Tuesday, December 22, 2009

TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY: The Unborn (again...)

B-Sol of The Vault of Horror here once again, filling in for the nearly internet-less BJ-C, who will be roughing her way through two weeks of Florida sun, poor thing. Since she'll mainly be updating from her phone during that time, I thought I'd step in and stir things up, starting with a good ol' TPT post.

The Unborn is a movie so monumentally bad that it produced not one, but two posters worthy of the TPT treatment. The infamous ass-poster was covered here some months ago, but this time, let's take a look at this equally befuddling and ineffective placard, shall we?

I think we can all agree that "It wants to be born...now" easily ranks up there with the likes "Holly would if she could" and "He was dead...but he got better" as one of the most cringeworthy movie poster taglines ever. So let's just acknowledge that, shake our heads, and move on.

If we move on, or more specifically, move down, we discover that the title of the film itself, as well as all those fine print credits that people never read, are placed almost smack dab in the center of the poster--which would be mind-boggling enough in and of itself, but then there's the fact that they're hovering right over the image of the movie's star, Odette Yustman (she of the aforementioned bare bottom).

This brings me to the most obvious element of awfulness at work here, namely the utter randomness of the image being used. Add a halter top and long hair, and this could basically be me examining the state of the bathroom after my kids have finished taking a bath. Cropped this closely, this picture could literally be taken to mean almost anything, and not in the good, ambiguously creepy way. More like the "there is nothing here to make me care what this movie is about" way. All I know is, water is leaking, Odette is really freaked out, and her boyfriend has a good sense of humor judging by that charm.

So, in closing, we have a terrible horror movie that also spawned two terrible posters. That's actually pretty impressive in a way that is sad, but not sad enough to keep me from laughing.

1 comment(s):

Rhonny Reaper said...

words can not express how much I HATED this movie >:( I saw it during Orthidox Christmas (my grandparents are Ukrainian so I celebrate christmas in both Dec & Jan) and this almost RUINED it with it's awefulness!!!

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