Sunday, December 27, 2009


Oh my Womanizers! I have been enjoying the summer feeling down here in Florida except for this whole posting from my cell phone thing. Thank God I got a new phone with internet capability otherwise this would be one hell of a boring blog. However, all of this phone business has once again; inspired a completely random and unnecessary showcase of an item that gets little to no recognition as far as the film is concerned. Today's showcase: THE PHONE.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I must bite my tongue. This photograph is proof that Heather Langenkamp does in fact change her facial expression at least once in the entire film. I didn't think it was possible, but I must tell you all that I stand corrected. When Freddy Kruegar's tongue sticks through the end of the telephone receiver, he instigates the only time she changes that half-constipated look on her face.
I apologize for the lack of scared Naomi Watts holding a telephone picture. Google images hates me, and I'm on a phone...give me a break. However, I will say that we have two phone lines in our house and after my sister watched this film for the first time, I called the house and told her she was going to die in 7 days...I honestly thought she was going to break glass with how loud that child screamed. Totally worth it.
Do yourself a favor and completely forget about that stupid ringtone as well as the stupid remake that was the American version of this film. Try to think back to a simpler time when Asian filmmakers found a way to make a cellphone scare the bajeesus out of you and give an entirely new meaning to one missed call. Let's just say, I still get a mild heart attack when I see a number on my cell phone I don't recognize. It's normally just someone being a jerk and *67'ing me, but still.
"Do you like scary movies?" Uh..Yes. Yes I do. Sorry Billy/Stu, I'm pretty sure I know a hell of a lot more about horror films than you two who clearly spend half the film trying to hide your love affair from the world and have to get your kicks whacking of Drew Barrymore (who finally shows us how good jiffy pop is) and her boyfriend AND torturing a bad bang haircut having Neve Campbell. Seriously? Get a new schtick.
Congratulations to the Dream Team of John Carpenter and Debra Hill! This scene was not only included on this showcase, but was also on the Top 10 Most Awesome Glasses list! Way to go! Congrats on showing us how strangling a girl with a phone cord while she's naked and you're wearing a bed sheet and the glasses of her recently axed off boyfriend!
Anyone who has ever seen this film and done any form of babysitting knows that there is nothing more horrifying than when the house phone of the family you're watching the kids of rings. I think it's even scarier nowadays because people have cellphones. Who even uses a landlines anymore other than political campaigns, telemarketers, and your great grandmother wishing you a happy birthday? Needless to say, this film is BY FAR the scariest use of a telephone in horror.

With the aid of the wonderful world of youtube, I'm also giving you a video of the last 5 or so years of horror films where someone experiences a cell phone FAIL. You're Welcome.

3 comment(s):

Pax Romano said...

The NOES scene is where the classic line, "I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy!" happens.

the jaded viewer said...

Everytime somebody can't get a signal because they are in the middle of nowhere I think of that damn Verizon vs AT&T map. Damn you cell phone companies!

Spike Ghost said...

There's also in Drag me to Hell, Sam Raimy uses a cell phone in a clever way

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