Sunday, December 13, 2009

BJ-C'S BEST OF 2009

Yesh, it is that time. December 13th marks for me the end of paying attention for the year. This coming week I have FINALS(fuck, i never actually learned shit) and after that I will be in Florida for two weeks with my famdamily for the holiday visiting the granparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, baby daddies, and all of the above. Now, I AM going to include films on this little compliation that may have been previously released because as much as some of this films were brought to our attention in like 2007, they didn't get the recognition they deserve until this year. So why write them off on a technicality? I'm also including sci-fi thrillers because as per usual; my blog-my rules. I originally decided to do a numbered list, but numbers are for chumps...so here is my showcase on the best flicks that came out this year.

THIRST

This Korean vampire flick debuted in Korea as number one and is in my opinion, much like LTROI, what Twilight could be if it had any balls. The film tells the story of a priest—who is in love with his friend’s wife—turning into a vampire through a failed medical experiment. It's a horror/romance/thriller/badass flick and yeah, I loved it. My school does an international film festival where the movie theatre shows international films every Thursday night for free, and the Thursday before Halloween, they played this. It was a real treat to see it on the big screen and it's one of the best gems to come across this year.
DONKEY PUNCH

I hate to break it to you, but you're not going to hear a tale of a personal donkey punch experience with me or anything, you will be hearing about the pretty stellar power-chick horror flick that came out this year. I'm going to get slack for showcasing this film but it is now one of my guilty pleasures. A combination of a lethal sex act and women trying to pull an "I know what you did last summer" this film is a fun game of cat & mouse. I can't help it, I love empowering women horror flicks. It's not an original film by any means, but I find it sort of hysterical that the whole movie is centered around someone who gets killed by a donkey punch.
ORPHAN

Jesus H. Christ does this little girl freak me out. Isabelle Fuhrman is probably one of the best child actors I've ever witnessed and she is absolutely phenomenal in this film. The typical "bad seed" inspired killer kid flick with a bit of a twist to it, this film is a thrill to watch. Despite its unoriginal concept, the film is solid and aesthetically pleasing with every shot. The opening scene will scar me for years to come and its one of the very few killer kid movies where she actually KILLS someone. You won't be disappointed, I promise.
TRICK R' TREAT

Here's one of those "but it was made in two thousand bitch moan bitch moan!" films. I don't care when it was originally released, the DVD release of this film FINALLY is giving it the credit it deserves. This film is an instant cult classic and has given us one of the cutest/creepiest horror film characters of all time. (I'd adopt Sam, lets be honest). With four different horror stories intermingled into one super awesome flick, this is one that passing up should be illegal.
DISTRICT 9

I could care less if this is horror or not, this is one of the best films I've seen in a decade. I've always been a believer that Peter Jackson can do absolutely NO wrong, and this film further proves my theory. I'm normally not one for Alien flicks that don't include Sigourney Weaver or the dude from Spaceballs, but this one really got to me.
DOGHOUSE

Sometimes you get zombies. Sometimes, you get infected. Sometimes, you get women who are so jacked up they become man-hating cannibals. The UK are truly the champions of the zombie comedy and Doghouse is no exception. I thought it was hilarious and yes, a bit Shaun of the Dead inspired. It's a thrill a minute and totally worth the two hours. Not to mention, the Evil Dead references are greatly appreciated.
DRAG ME TO HELL

I firmly believe that like Jackson, Sam Raimi can do NO wrong. Case in point: Drag Me To Hell. It's a fun ride through a curse, getting the shit kicked out of you by absolutely nothing, laughing curtains, and hilarious yet horrifying moments that only Sam can bring to us. It was by far the most fun theatre experience I had all year and the return of Raimi to horror was well needed and well accepted :D
LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT

I normally can't friggen stand horror remakes, but this is one that left me pleasantly surprised. The original film was yes, monumental and completely shocking...but totally unrealistic. Wes Craven clearly knew how to push buttons, and pushed every button on the grid. My only problem with the original is how completely off the wall it was, this film was very grounded and very horrifying. I volunteer at a place where battered and sexually abused women come to for shelter, and after working with them and watching this film...it's more horrifying than anyone can imagine.
GRACE

I. LOVE. THIS. FILM. Words do not describe how much I love this film. So I won't try to explain it. Go watch it. NOW. & If McHargue gets to you before I do...ignore him and his giant stupid beard and his Grace hating ways.
PONTYPOOL

There are three stages to this virus. The first stage is you might begin to repeat a word. Something gets stuck. And usually it's words that are terms of endearment like sweetheart or honey. The second stage is your language becomes scrambled and you can't express yourself properly. The third stage you become so distraught at your condition that the only way out of the situation you feel, as an infected person, is to try and chew your way through the mouth of another person. Oh Canadaaaaa. Thankyou for redeeming yourselves from the disaster that is Celine Dion by giving me something I actually enjoy.
MOON

Sam Rockwell you amazing bastard...His performance was Oscar worthy and I normally hate saying that about actors. a return to old-school sci-fi. The film is brilliant, intelligent, thought-provoking, topical, without the childish bells and whistles. 2001 meets Hitchcock meets the Twilight Zone. EPIC.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

I've become so desensitized over the years that nothing really scares me anymore. PA, scared me sheetless. I was lucky enough to get a viewing of this before the hype completely killed any hope of it horrifying people and before the trailers gave away the scariest part of the film. I've never been so scared in the theatre in my life, and I loved every second of it.
THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL

Thanks to good friend Stu from BuyZombie, I FINALLY got to see Ti West's throwback to the years I wish I could have been around to see. I was NOT disappointed. It was absolutely fabulous and if I didn't know any better, I'd believe it was actually made in the 1970's. The story is trippy, the acting is fabulous, and the concept is just wonderful. Holla.
ZOMBIELAND

Alright. If you've seen this film, you know damn well why this is one of the best of 2009. If you haven't seen it, you're a moron.

Well Womanizers, there you have it. BJ-C's personal picks for the best horror/sci-fi of 2009. Check back tomorrow for my personal picks for the absolute shit we were bestowed upon us in 2009. Sassyness and ranting will be present and accounted for.
Peace, Love, & Brains
=]

7 comment(s):

jpelliott said...

I just got Thirst from Netflix yesterday. I'll be watching it soon...and props for hating on Celine Dion.

Mike Snoonian said...

anything I've actually seen on this list, i've got to whole heartedly endorse. I count 7 films within that are on my own top 10.

good luck with finals.

BJ-C said...

@jp-celine makes me hate life. and im a gay man in a woman's body. i just can't dig her.

@mike-thankyou lovedove. im wracking my little brain out.

Erin Rose Tollefsen said...

Awww, damn. I see something we do not agree on. I hated "Grace". I thought it was really boring, and had potential to be good, but failed to deliver. I think it's because I was so excited to see it, and was sorely let down.

"Teeth" sucked too, which I am sure you know.

Great article, though. You crack me up. <3

Chris Hallock said...

So glad you included Pontypool! What a great flick!

Gene Phillips said...

I've seen very few of these but kudos on including DRAG ME TO HELL!

jpelliott said...

So I just watched Thirst and as you put it, it is a gem. It's truly a special blend of genres and falls in line right behind LTROI in the modern vampire film hierarchy.

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