Monday, November 30, 2009

VOTE BJ-C FOR MS. HORROR BLOGOSPHERE & REMAKE NEWS!

Why Zombie Sex Is Thought Of As So Bad But It Is Oh So GOOD

Hey there Womanizers, BJ-C here bringing you a guest post I've been DYING to put up on DotW for a while now. We have all been bombarded with the sexual nature of the vampire for centuries, but no one has really tapped into the sexual nature of my favorite monsters...ZOMBIES. I had full intent on writing this post myself, but I thought that this was a very important subject and the only person I'd rather have write it would be Stuart Conover of BuyZombie.com

For years people have enjoyed a little danger in their sex. From B&D to S&M people just love to add kink to their playtime. With the zombie outbreak though there is a new height in danger that people are lining up around the block to try. While taboo, currently illegal, and in many instances just downright wrong this is a new fetish that is sweeping the nation. When it gets down to it though, just like every other fetish is it really wrong? I mean everyone loves a good nibble now and then and what's more exciting then a nibble that can have rather harsh side effects? People want something new to fill their lives, and the passion for danger can be overwhelming.


Now I'll just put it out there right now to get out of the way. The biggest problem quite a few people have with the thought of sleeping with zombies is necrophilia. Necrophilia is a sexual attraction for or sexual intercourse with dead bodies. Now let's think about that for a second. When is the last time you've seen something truly dead get back up and try to bite you? Zombies are considered the 'undead' for a reason. While they aren't quite to be counted among the living anymore, they also are no longer part of the dead.


Past the danger fetishes there are so many bonuses to zombie sex that should be focused on! - Regardless of the gender the undead are never 'not' in the mood. For those who prefer females in their lives you are easily able to just add lube and be set to go. Some might argue that that can add up but you know what they say, "blood makes a great lubricant!" Lovers of male though don't have to be left out either. What you have to remember is that when the body dies rigor mortis kicks in. Always able to please! - A benefit to society is that there is a high likelihood that the advancement of sex zombies in the home would decrease prostitution! Yes it would actually be helping society by removing this age old 'profession' that never has been quite legal, aside from right outside of Vegas. - On a moral high ground it also would never technically be cheating. You can't cheat on the person you love with something that is not technically alive- it would be more like masturbation with a sex doll! - Another bonus is for those of you who like to have verbal encouragement that they are doing the right thing? Well clearly moaning coming from a zombie will never be a problem to let you live out that part of your fantasy.



Zombie Sex In The Media Portrays It as Sex Slaves:


Media of course always shows off the worst of what can happen in any given situation. There are two examples of what can happen as expressed by media in general. The first is a rather dark idea reveling in the worst of human nature while the second seems more along the lines of what would become standard in the twisted minds found within the United States.


So to start with we'll go over what the worst case scenario would be. Someone so addicted to violence that they take the undead to use for their darkest perversions. While one can at least be happy this is being done to the undead and not someone living what is portrayed in Colin is darker then what anyone even half way normal could enjoy. A collection of slaves being mutilated to fulfill a fantasy of the most demented mind being used as a human canvas and most likely for sexual release. Demented? Yes. Again at least it's not being done to the living.



Now the more realistic approach is what is done within the confines of the film Fido. Zombies being used as slaves and in a certain case as a sexual one. Another level of the perversions that lie in the back of so many minds. Not just the newly found love of the undead but you mix in a
splash of B&D for good measure just to seal the deal.



A Little Imagery To Feed Your Appetite:

Some may argue that once undead there is no longer any physical attraction that can be had. As some one who is a strong believer that eye candy makes up a good portion of the experience (I am a very visual person,) I'm going to have to disagree with this thought. Think I'm wrong? I ask you to take a quick viewing at the following and tell me that you are going to really argue that.



An Undead Public Service Announcement:


While the idea of being able to have free reign sex whenever you want is clearly something that is appealing to both sexes without even having to worry about birth control- there ARE two issues that you need to keep in mind. The first of which is that the zombification process does not remove all STD's from the system. While it will kill off the vast majority of viral STD's, bacterial based ones can take weeks or months to die off. The second, and probably more major of a concern is of course that the transfer of bodily fluids can lead to the communication of the Zombie virus. Unless you plan on becoming one of the infected we HIGHLY suggest using protection in engaging in sexual activities with one of the undead.

On a side note, again for your own safety it is highly recommended to not attempt to have oral sex with the undead. This should be painfully obvious but the whole biting factor just makes it all in all a bad idea.

The Addams Family Musical (review)

I will begin this review by letting you all in on a little secret. At the college I attend, I am a double major in Journalism…and Theatre. Yes! It’s true! Yours truly is a thespian and an avid lover of all things musical theatre *holds skull with jazz hands*. That being said, I have a tendency to judge quite harshly when it comes to musical theatre performances as musical theatre is the genre that I hold nearest and dearest to my Judy Garland obsessed heart. This past weekend, I was lucky enough to catch a performance of The Addams Family musical in Chicago as it was being tested out on us Windy City dwellers before it hits The Big Apple. I’ve been absolutely eager to see this production take flight and I finally was given my opportunity.

I would first like to state that the set design, light design, sound design, costumes, and scene transitions were absolutely fabulous. The Addams house looked creepy, cooky, mysterious, and yes…a little spooky. With monsters that come out of beds move and carry Pugsly away while he slumbers with his six toes, a moon that Fester falls for, and even a gigantic venus flytrap that eats mice on stage while we watch it clump down its throat; the technical aspect of the film was absolutely magnificent.

Second, the sound. I’m normally picky picky picky when it comes to music and I was terribly afraid the music for this show was going to be nothing more than these Gothic and dark songs that did nothing more than depress the audience. I was pleasantly shown otherwise. The music was very catchy and very “Broadway”. The love song, the dance break, the upbeat fiesty “I gotta figure this out” jam, all came power packed with just a hint of the macabre for this show. I found the music to be highly intelligent, as well as impressive. The pit playing had a hell of a brass line and I was very impressed. A lot of people are giving Bebe Neuwirth negative reviews as far as her voice is concerned and honestly, I had no problem with it. She was playing up the character (impecably I might add) as Morticia Addams. This includes her singing. There are parts where her voice switches from her natural singing voice to the “Morticia” singing voice and this shouldn’t be picked on so much. If you listen to the soundtrack to Little Shop of Horrors, you’ll notice Audrey’s voice does the same thing. This is because you can only have a character voice for certain notes before you end up sounding like a lousy singer. I will say that I found Fester’s songs to be a bit excessive. One of the most entertaining parts of the show and yet the one scene I would cut (the show runs a bit long for Broadway) is his love song about the moon. We see him floating in the air and yet as much as I enjoyed it, it didn’t play any necessary part for the storyline. Any producers reading this, cut that scene somehow…or shorten it. The voices of Gomez, Pugsly, Wednesday, Fester, The Beineke family, and the big surprise in Lurch were all absolutely phenomenal. I have made it my unrealistic theatre goal to one day play Wednesday on Broadway and to adopt the little boy playing Pugsly.

The acting was of course wonderful and I will say I have found a new obsession with Jackie Hoffman which is the actress and facial contorting genius behind the character of the Grandmama. Her lines were absolutely hysterical and her delivery was brilliant. She was the standout character of the entire show and a true star.

The show was based on the comics rather than the films, but the creators made the very VERY intelligent move by doing a ton of throwbacks to the characters that honestly, we’ve learned from the movies and television series. Fester’s light bulb in the mouth was a huge hit, as well as the special guest appearances of Thing, Cousin IT, and the infamous sword fights. The full arm kisses and the iconic snapping theme song all made the show all the more enjoyable by throwing us audience members a bone.

All in all, the show was awesome. Now it isn’t to say this show is better than Wicked or Spamalot which both recently played in Chicago, but it is definitely worth seeing and if I could scrounge up the funds, I’d go see it again in a heartbeat.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

I'll have two-three actual posts tomorrow :)

but for now...

I had to drive back to school, move back in, and see a broadway show. A broadway show that is horror related and will be having a review written up about it tomorrow :)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

THE UNCANNY WOMEN OF BORIS KARLOFF

As part of the Boris Karloff Blogathon, hosted by Pierre Fournier of Frankensteinia. I figured I'd give Ol' William Henry Pratt some recognition as far as how he wooed us women. With his swooning lispy voice and the back problems I'm sure any of us women would have died to rub out (hold your comments Office fans). I honesly love everything about Boris Karloff, despite playing such spooktacular characters, Karloff was known in real life as a very kind gentleman who gave generously, especially to children's charities. Beginning in 1940, Karloff dressed up as Santa Claus every Christmas to hand out presents to physically disabled children in a Baltimore hospital. If being a horror icon and a philanthropist doesn't win your heart...I don't know what will. Boris has charmed many a women off screen, but I want to direct you to some of my favorite women that got to share some screen time with the Father of Frankenstein's Monster.

MAE CLARKE IN FRANKENSTEIN

GLORIA STUART IN THE OLD DARK HOUSE
HAZEL COURT IN THE RAVEN
GALE GARNETT IN MAD MONSTER PARTYZITA JOHANN IN THE MUMMY
LUCILLE LUND IN THE BLACK CAT
CINDY LOU WHO IN HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS!MYRNA LOY IN THE MASK OF FU MANCHU

&& of course
ELSA LANCHESTER IN THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN



HAPPY THANKSGIVING!


EAT THE BIRD BEFORE IT EATS YOU!
~Peace, Love, & BRAAAAAINS

A MESSAGE TO THOSE WHO FEEL THE MS. HORROR BLOGOSPHERE COMPETITION IS DEGRADING...nsfw

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

VOTE BJ-C FOR MS. HORROR BLOGOSPHERE

Voting Started at 1pm(Chicago Time) 11/24 -- Ends on 12/4
See the poll to the RIGHT in the gray bar at Vault of Horror


Oh my darling Womanizers, I need the help of you fine folk to put a dream to reality. Today begins the voting for the Ms. Horror Blogosphere competition over at The Vault of Horror in which yours truly is a contestant. B-Sol has created this fabulous little contest that showcases all of the fine femme fetales of the freaky, the queens of the cooky, and the sirens of the spooky. Help BJ-C become the Mistress of Macabre by throwing me a vote on the gray poll to the right on his page.

Peace, Love, & Brains



Monday, November 23, 2009

RUN, DON'T WALK TO BUY CHEMICAL 12-D


So a week or so back I gave you a review of the best damn short zombie film you'll ever bless your eyes to see- Chemical 12-D. The flick screened a little over a week ago at the Zombie Outbreak festival in Chicago, and the buzz has been growing ever since. It's just now wrapping up a screening at the Tromadance festival in New Mexico. For a college project...that's what we call the big time ladies & gents.

And now, I've gotten word from the filmmaker, Mac Eldridge of Water Cooler Productions, that Chemical 12-D is on-sale beginning today on DVD, for just a one-week period. So if your interest was piqued by my review and you've been curious about seeing the movie for yourself, this is your chance. I've got a copy of the DVD in my hands and let me tell you, it's well worth it. You will be the proud owner of...

2 Documentaries
- The Making of Chemical 12-D
- The Making of Water Cooler Productions

4 Commentaries with Mac Eldridge, David Wagenaar, Rob Davis, and Matt Nikkila.

The Deleted scene of Chemical 12-D

The Past Work of Water Cooler Productions
-Timmothy O’Toole’s Commercial
-In A State Of (Water Cooler Productions first zombie movie!)
-Knife


The DVD is being sold directly from the Water Cooler Productions website, so head over there if you're so inclined and support this very rare gem, a low-budget indy horror short that is actually very good and made at mainstream professional standards. The proceeds from the sale will be used to help fund the boys' next film--which I've gotten little blips about....and it's going to be good.

EDWARD CULLEN CAN'T CONTROL HIS LOAD

Sunday, November 22, 2009

THE BEST FOOD RELATED DEATHS!


Ah, the turkey day (or tofurkey for those of us who are members of the cool club) approaches and the only thing I have on my mind is cranberry sauce (can shaped of course) and horror flicks. There aren't that many Thanksgiving themed horror flicks, but the cool cats over at Kindertrauma have already listed some of the best dinner scenes known to man. This list may have a bit overlap but I'm bringing lots of different things to the table (ba doom ch!)

HEY EDDIE, GET YOUR ASS OFF THE TABLE!
THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
There's nothing better than having a singing Meatloaf with a saxophone and a motorbike come out of your freezer, and it's even better to have for dinner! One of the finest cannibalistic subtexts in film to date, Rocky's Birthday Feast makes you rethink what you're really having for dinner.

**********

"Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon, worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars, people are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb?"
SLITHER
Oh Brenda, if you hadn't had sex with those tentacles, you might not have ever been begging to eat opossums, you might not have turned into a giant water balloon and you might not have been way bigger than your fat sister who has someone to love her, and you might not have exploded maggots...just saying.

*********

I know you ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti...but what about brains?
HANNIBAL
I know I'm going to get some crap for choosing this scene over him killing the guards in Silence of the Lambs, but I find this scene a hell of a lot more off putting. The fact that homeboy is still ALIVE while he's getting his brains poked, prodded, and devoured seriously FREAKS ME OUT. I can't handle a few things. Leprosy, Lawn Gnomes, Being eaten alive, and eye trauma. Nuff said.

*********
It's people. Soylent Green is made out of people. They're making our food out of people. Next thing they'll be breeding us like cattle for food. You've gotta tell them. You've gotta tell them!
SOYLENT GREEN
Soylent Green. Is. PEOPLE!!!

**********

There's another tradition, always check your candy...
TRICK R TREAT
This film has so many eating deaths its insane. Death by poison candy, death by lollipop, death by werewolves eating you, death by vampire drinking blood, and its a stretch but using a head as a jack o lantern is food...sort of.

**********

Oh Greta, You Bulimic Skank.
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5: THE DREAM CHILD
Basically, Greata is quite the little bulimic and Chef Freddy decides what better way to kill her than to shove food down her throat until she dies? Sick. Twisted. Wonderful. Irony.

**********

The least attractive of the 7 Deadly Sins
SE7EN
I've never wanted to throw up more than the first time I saw this scene. I couldn't handle it. Maybe it was the 3 day old chinese food, or maybe it was seeing someone who had eaten themselves to death, I don't know. It's just freaking disgusting.

**********

Get her grandpa! Get her!

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
Probably one of the most memorable and horrific scenes in the film is the lovely family dinner shared by our Texas Chainsaw Masscre darlings. Check your food, that sure as shit ain't chicken.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

THIS JUST IN:









I'm Vain and I took new horror themed photos for you all. I'd love to hear your input so I can figure out which photo I should use for the blog and things like it :)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION


Who doesn't love a good Twatlight bashing? We all know I do, and I've given my opinion to the fine folks at Horror Society!
Check it out HERE

If you can't keep it in the pants, at least keep it in the family! The dynamic duo of B-Sol and BJ-C have thrown together another "Top 10" list for Bloody-Disgusting with
The Top 10 Inbred Horror Movies of All Time
Like Hot Horror Women?
I am running for a pageant! Sort of :)
Check out my entry for the Ms. Horror Blogosphere competition over at The Vault of Horror

WOMAN OF THE WEEK: Karen Black

She was born Karen Blanche Ziegler in 1945 in Park Ridge, Illinois, the granddaughter of Chicago Symphony first violinist Arthur Zielger. (ILLINOIS REPRESENT!)

Little known fact,but Karen Black was enrolled in Northwestern University at the young age of 15 with a genius IQ. However IQ doesn't measure your passion, and acting was calling her. She left NU after 2 years for New York, where she studied with Lee Strasberg before finding roles in off-Broadway plays.

She made her feature film debut in Francis Ford Coppola's You're a Big Boy Now in 1966 and then became a star with 1969's Five Easy Pieces. The role would win her an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress. It was an interesting career choice when she accepted parts in low-budget flicks such as the Canadian thriller The Pyx.

In 1975, she starred in one of the most popular TV horror movies of all time, Trilogy of Terror. In it, she played three roles in an anthology. The most popular was Amelia, the third story. Any kid who grew up in the 70s and saw this one would never forget it. It was nightmare inducing...and Black gives a tour de force as a woman whose Zuni fetish doll comes to life and tries to kill her. I guarantee you know what this film is. You know that horrifying little demon doll that looks ridiculously like Lil Jon' armed with an arrow? Yeah. That's it. In what I think could be one of the coolest films on her resume, Karen Black was cast in Family Plot. It was a black comedy that was to be Alfred Hitchcock's final film.

Although an Academy Award nominee, she found it difficult to nab roles so she began to drift back into the horror genre including 1977's Burnt Offerings, in which she becomes possessed by a spirit in a house she and her family are vacationing in. That same year, she starred in another horror made for TV movie called The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver. In 1979, she flew to Brazil to shoot Killer Fish, a fun and TOTALLY underrated piranha flick directed by Antonio Margheriti. Leave it to the Italian horror to be totally underrated, what else is new?

Just a handful of other horror films she dabbled in are Haunting Fear, Children of the Night, Mirror, Mirror, Evil Spirits and It's Alive III: Island of the Alive and 1985's Cut and Run AKA Inferno in diretta, a "cannibals in the jungle" epic from Ruggero Deodato.

Most recently, Karen Black was Mother Firefly in Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses. Sadly, she did not revive the role for The Devil's Rejects. Back during my very first WotW, I talked about how a band called Local H had an album titled "Whatever Happened to PJ Soles?" . Well Peej, you may have an album dedicated to you, but I don't know if you've got your own band. Karen does. There's a New York punk band respectfully called The Voluptious Horror of Karen Black. Making her the ONLY actress in history to have a punk band named after her. She even ocassionally performs with them! How cool is that?!

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