Monday, October 12, 2009

HALLOWEEN HIJINKS: Annoying Couples Costumes


The annoying costumed couple. We all know them, we all hate them, and we all avoid them like the plague. The couple that finds it necessary to come up with every single pun that goes along with their costumes to use all night. The same couple that normally separates themselves from each other to mingle, but on Halloween...are glued to the hip and bug the hell out of everyone else at the party. Not sure who I'm talking about? I'll refresh your memory.

THE CHARACTER COUPLE

Oh the character couple. Two lovers brought together by another famous couple that society knows and loves. I'm not sure if this means that we as society are supposed to know and love these lame asses in costumes...but apparently they think so. Character couples have a tendency to think that once they put on the character costume, they are that character. I'm sorry lady dressed like Jessica Rabbit, you're not her...get your red wig out of my bean dip, stop using that fake sultry accent, and pour me another drink damn it.

THE "WE GET IT, YOU'RE MARRIED" COUPLE

Seriously, why in God's name to people invest in this costume. This joke has been around longer than your marriage will last....SO STOP WEARING IT. It's not clever, it's not funny, and you look like you're wearing a barrel. The best part is that the chain is about 5 links long, you'll have to go with each other when the other has to pee...WHO WOULD WANT THAT!? Granted you can take off the chain, but then it defeats the purpose of your costume and your wife just looks like a lone game of minesweeper.

THE STUPID SEXUAL PUN COUPLE

Oh look at that, he has a plug on his groin, and she has two sockets on her body...I wonder what message they're trying to convey with that one. Bob and Judy, you've always been such cards, but this is a genuine KNEE SLAPPER. No...it's not. You look idiotic and that damn plug is making it ridiculously hard to dance with you. Stop it. You look like a hot dog vendor, and I'm positive your wife doesn't feel sexy or sexual at all wearing a potato sack with sockets painted on them.

THE INEVITABLE ADAM AND EVE COUPLE

Why can't I escape this monstrosity. There's always one couple that thinks they're being so original by showing up half naked to my parties carting around fig leaves, plastic snakes, and fake apples. It's the most obnoxious thing in the world, because 90% of the time, these couples should NOT be naked in public. We know that you like each other naked, but that doesn't mean the rest of us do too. Put some clothes on and be a forest or something.

So here's my suggestion, if you want to be a couple costume. Match each other. Be swashbuckling pirates together or something! If you absolutely HAVE to be a couple costume...be yourselves.
Happy Haunting.

6 comment(s):

Cins said...

You know, I think going as a loan game of Mine Sweeper ain't a bad idea!...better than the ball and chain one at least.

B-Sol said...

That key and keyhole one is outta control. The wife and I were much more respectable as Gomez and Morticia, thank you very much :-)

BJ-C said...

If you ever once kissed up her arm, you were not respectable, and I would have hated you.

Beann said...

where did you find these pictures?! some of those people should not be modeling halloween costumes...

BJ-C said...

@Beann-google images is a good friend of mine. i think they're trying to go for the "average joe" look. because 90% of halloween costumes are meant to fit people who don't have the same body type as 90% of the world. I personally like the Mario Lopez look a like with the key groin and the balding light plug.

Ysabella said...

The Adam and Eve couples costumes is something different. Although I don't see myself wearing this. I also can't imagine my husband will wear that one. I'll ask him if he likes the character couple costume.

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