Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Whoever said that one sheets don't make any kind of impact was seriously deranged. Happy Tuesday Womanizers, today I've got a fabulous one to talk about today. This poster was the first official one-sheet for George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead. This is a poster that I really wish didn't exist. I feel that if a poster is absolutely terrible, you go into a movie thinking it's going to be absolutely terrible. I will proudly state that I ENJOY DiaryOTD. However I do know that I am the minority in this situation. Anyways...this poster really doesn't help it's case at all.

First, we have the superimposed camera and hand. If you are running from a zombie outbreak, wouldn't your hands be a little bit dirtier? I think the last thing you'd be concentrating on are your cuticles or your amount of antibacterial. I also want to know, why the hell are you recording this?! This isn't storm chasers!!! You have to look out behind you dude. Either tape the camera to your body, or tape what's in front of you, you don't need to be running backwards!

Second, I want to know what kind of camera that is that has such a good picture quality. I mean damn. That's impressive. That camera would be like if Michael Bay made a documentary. I'm pretty sure the kid from Cloverfield, and clean cuticles here have the same camera. Whatever it is...I want it.

Tres, What's up with this blue tinted zombies thing going on? I was unaware we were at the disco. However this hottie to the right looks like a very good candidate for bumping and grinding. I'm also confused as to how if living flesh is THAT close to a zombie that they're not lunging to feed. These two must be the zombies that got picked last for the dodgeball tournament. The ball is right there and they're both just sort of hanging out. PICK IT UP AND EAT STUPID! RetarDEAD...literally.

Quatro, SUP RIDICULOUS TAGLINE!? I get it. Camera pun and Gun pun all in one. Sorry, I have Dr.Seusslexia today....but that's just god awful. That's almost as bad as "HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD" No shit sherlock. If I have a camera in a zombie outbreak, I'll shoot. If I have a gun in a zombie outbreak, I'll shoot. I do not need this tagline to tell me. Thanks.

6 comment(s):

Jon said...

You're absolutely right! The poster is just awful, and maybe that explains why DOTD is such an underrated film. I know it's not as good as Romero's previous films, but it's still a zombie movie with something substantive to say about contemporary culture. And it's often fun. And that's good enough for me.

Matt-suzaka said...

Gotta love that malformed thumb...I think your cuticle boyfriend is made out of some sort of clay substance. DEAD-on observations, as always.

Johnny said...

A fittingly shitty poster for a shitty movie. I hate Diary with a passion, in case you couldn't tell.

BJ-C said...

Jon-Amen sir!
Matt-don't you be hating on my boyfriend. he's a damn good lover
johnny-now what would make me think that?

ALK said...

haha You are not alone! i enjoyed it also.

I think someone had a little TOO much fun in photoshop =/

Pax Romano said...

Loved Diary of the Dead, a pox on those who did not, sez I.

As for the poster...well, err, that is, I actually have it hanging in the laundry room, right over the dryer! (The washer has Psycho hanging over it).

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