Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Greetings to you Womanizers from beautiful South Bend, Indiana! Well, my competition is in South Bend at the faboosh Notre Dame University. I'm currently absorbing the awesome that is my hotel room in Mishawaka, Indiana. Yeah, the Midwest gives us a lot of weird Native American names. Anywhoo. I discovered that not only do I get WiFi, but it's also FREE! Mama likes her free stuff so I'll be able to keep up with the blog even while I'm away.

So to start the week off, we've got this steaming platter of guano that is the poster for Saw III, the third installment in the craptacularly overrated Saw series. Granted, this franchise has given us some doozies as far as awful posters go, but this has to be some kind of a high watermark of lameness.

The Saw posters have always tried to incorporate the number of each sequel in some kind of visual way--and this is definitely the stupidest example of them all. My first reaction on seeing this picture, as well as the goofy-as-hell tagline that accompanies it, is to giggle and snicker uncontrollably. And I'm pretty damn sure that shouldn't be the reaction I have to a poster for a Saw movie. I mean, these aren't exactly feel-good chuckle-fests, are they? So, to say this poster fails is quite the understatement...

"Opening Wide This Halloween". REALLY? Who's writing this stuff for them, Fozzy Bear?

And to get back to that picture... Toothless gums? Who thought this was scary enough to be worthy of a horror movie poster? I mean, I'll admit that everyone's a little freaked out by the dentist, but not enough to look at something like this and go hiding under their bed or anything. Seriously, I almost think one of the geniuses behind this poster had to be some poor little pillow-biter who had a bad experience getting a tooth pulled when he was seven and has had a deep-seated dentist phobia ever since. Just because the sound of Muzak and the sight of Highlights magazines makes you cringe in terror, Mr. Pantywaist Studio Exec, don't expect me to start quaking in my boots!

Bottom line, it isn't scary, and it certainly isn't clever. To quote Jigsaw, I want to play a game. And that game is Clue. As in, whoever came up with this poster needs to get one.

1 comment(s):

Monster Scholar said...

They kept playing with the whole teeth thing because Troy's trap was originally supposed to be hooks through his teeth that he had to pull out to escape. They just wouldn't let it go.

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