Tuesday, July 7, 2009


BUH BUDAAAA BUHHHH! Happy Tuesday Womanizers. I will admit, the flaming pile of ostrich shit of a poster B-Sol came across last week was DAMN impressive. I will say however, I found a poster that doesn't have much to pick at, because there isn't much going on....AND IM GOING TO RIP IT APART. I got an email from a reader saying "It seems like you're holding back on TPT" So ya know what...No more Miss Nice BJ. (Why does that HAVE to be my initials, good lord)

So in case you all have forgotten, (which if happens, I adore you for ;)) I'm still a 19 year old girl. As much as I'd like to act all "older than my age" and all "mature", sometimes my 15 year old boy mindset comes BURSTING out. You'd think that a picture of LOLhan half naked on a stripper pole would make me do a happy dance right? WRONG?! Lindsay LOLhan is seriously the anti-poon. If I had a penis, it would go back inside me whenever she's on TV. First, she's a ginger and NOT AN ATTRACTIVE ONE. I mean, I have nothing against the daywalkers because my sister is a ginger and she's a bombshell. Lindsay however, is a raging firecrotch from hell. I would have been perfectly content if she just died off after Mean Girls. Not before it though, because that movie is hilarious...but I digress.

So Lindsay is not only on this page in a stripper get up, but she also has her side profile on here....TWICE. Okay, so the tagline is "there are two sides to every crime" and you got her on here three times....CONGRATULATIONS YOU DON'T KNOW MATH! Ps; and what the fuck is she looking at in those side profiles. Her mouth is half open and I don't know if it's because she's been crying that saMANtha doesn't want to taste the flames anymore, or if because Daddy still hasn't gone to a movie premiere. Regardless, she looks like she's making the face when you're crying and snot is dripping out of your nose and you make that face RIGHT before you breathe it back up.

My last rant about this poster is WHY THE FUCK IS LINDSAY LOHAN'S NAME THE ONLY ONE ON IT?! I mean, I know this film didn't have George Clooney or anything but fuck. When I see Lindsay Lohan's name on a banner, I don't think to myself "HOLY SHIT LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THIS, I HAVE TO SEE IT!" I think, "I wonder how many shots of her vag we'll see in this film, or how many times she makes that annoying high pitched screech that she thinks is a terrified scream?"

This movie blows, this poster blows, and Lindsay blows...in more than one way.
PS; Worst. Title. Ever.


6 comment(s):

B-Sol said...

Nice job, and an atrocious poster. Mine still rules though ;-)

Anonymous said...

Crap poster but an oh so awesome movie. Seriously.

Pax Romano said...

If only Ed Wood were still with us, he'd have known how to really direct that film.

But honestly, tell us how you really feel!

LDCD said...

Good post Interesting about Lohan.

This post has been nominated for a bob award where the grand prize is 1000 dollars

BJ Colangelo said...

Planet-I think I need to medicate you :)

Pax-Truth. It had potential, and I'll ALWAYS be saying what I think now :)

LDCD-No way! How did you come across me if you don't mind me asking?

Alana Noel Voth said...

BJ-C, absolutely mean girl of you, seriously.

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