Saturday, June 6, 2009

Scream Remake Should Shut Up

"So you’re remaking what, one movie? That is so 2008. Trilogy remakes are the new hotness; all the cool kids are doing it." That is a DIRECT QUOTE from MTV's Movies Blog published by Adam Rosenberg. If that one sentence alone doesn't make you ill about the Scream remake (reboot/re-imaging/retarded) idea, then I don't know what will. Is this really what our horror industry is coming to? We have to re-vamp up horror franchises that were made IN THE 1990'S?! Are you serious?! This is almost as bad as how VH1 started doing "I love the 2000's" when it was only 2008, or you know the whole 90210 reboot. So we're remaking a franchise that was a reference and borderline spoof of the horror genre that weren't that great to begin with...WHAT?!

The tongue-in-cheek approach that combined straightforward scares with dialogue that satirized the slasher film concept is something I DO appreciate, but slashers aren't what they used to be. People don't understand them anymore. What was so nice about slashers is that the unique kills were quick and terrifying. The audience that will be seeing these films are going to be those who have been brainwashed by the slow and painful disgusting discomfort of the Saw franchise. The "heart" of Scream will be totally lost, because the typical movie-goers of these shit-tacular remakes aren't those who appreciate the horror satire. It's the PG-13 kids spending their allowance money with their mallrat girlfriends.

The whole point of Scream in the first place was to be a horror film but definitely a comedy. How are you going to make it scary when Ghostface is the joke of the slashers and when the jokes in this film are thirteen years old? It was such a breath of fresh air when it first came out and the character names were exciting to see. We've already seen Billy Loomis and Tatum Riley, we get it....Halloween and Alien. What are you going to do now? Is Sidney Prescott's baby going to be named Rosemary or some shit? What else are you going to pull? It's just going to become a giant clusterfuck of overused horror references.

  • You can never have sex.
  • You can never drink or do drugs. (The "sin factor, an extension of number one".)
  • Never, ever, EVER, under any circumstances say "I'll be right back", 'cause you won't be back.
  • Don't answer the phone
  • Don't open the door
  • Don't try to hide
  • But most of all don't scream

When Scream came out, it was definitely THE horror franchise of my generation. I wasn't around for the Freddy/Michael/Jason connection. This was the Slasher for my generation. Well, my generation is barely in college. I actually like remakes because they expose a new generation to the original awesomeness. However, who would this be exposed to? The people who were born the year this film came out, are only 13 years old. Anyone old enough to see these films in theater KNOW who Ghostface is and definitely knows what Scream is about. So unless this film is going to be PG and geared towards the Hannah Montanaheads of don't have a new audience to impress.

The writer says how he wants to bring back as many of the original characters as possible. That frightens me because the cast wasn't all that great to begin with. The lame Arquettes, Jamie Kennedy, Skeet Ulrich, and Matthew Lillard. So we have some creepy couple, the worst comedian out of Beverley Hills, a kid who's name sounds like a Lil Jon lyric, and Shaggy. Awesome. NOT. The only thing that might even save this film is if they bring back Neve Campbell or Rose McGowan. However with the statuses of both of these women, they might just wipe their ass with this script.

I don't think ANYONE will be able to take this film seriously. First off, it's a remake, 2nd Scary Movie beat the living hell out of that dead horse already, and 3rd...the not as awesome as Patricia and Alexis Arquettes may be back. That's right. Parents of Coco, Courtney Cox & David Arquette are possibly returning. Why in God's name would you bring back David and that unfortunate molestache of his? The Scream series, the first film in particular has become one of the most parodied and spoofed films this side of the millennium. How the fuck do you think you're going to make Ghostface scary again, ESPECIALLY now that there's a rapper called Ghostface Killah...FML.

The writers currently haven't decided if its going to be a Scream 4 or a reboot. Fingers crossed for Scream 4. Watching Sidney finally die would be great. To make matters even worse, Wes Craven has nothing to do with this...any shard of hope I had for this film, gone.

13 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! Would people quit with the remake, reboot bollocks... Fark! The only good thing would be Drew Barrymore, because she's hot. Otherwise, let dead films lay in their dusty crypts.

Ms Harker

Unknown said...

I think it's just laziness... instead of trying to come up with a new ideas the writers revert back to what they did 10 years ago and try to bring it back thinking it's going to do just as well but then it just flops. Take the AVP series for instance. Alien back in the day ok movie. Predator with the Govern-ator... also ok. Then a few years later they decide to combine two good movie series and to make matters worse... they made a sequel to that. I wish someone would come up with original material for once. I wish I could've grown up 30 yrs ago when movies were original.

B-Sol said...

Something tells me Neve Campbell would be very happy to have some decent work again. Girl dropped off the face of the planet. Scream IV would be the one project I'd love to see her in. Well, either that or Wild Things III: The Search for Snatch.

Scott said...


I'm not surprised...unfortunately. I didn't like the first go-round of Scream crap, and I sure as Hell don't want to see any remakes. Is it any wonder that other countires(like France) make better horror films than the U.S.?

Anonymous said...

I may be in the minority here, but I love the slasher genre. Over done and played out, sure. But when done right (along with some groovy cheesedick dialogue which is key), they can be awesome.

Agreed on the point of a 're-imagining' or 'remake' seems completely silly for a film that came out in the 90's. I've read other reports about it being a sequel with a whole new set of young kids and some of the original cast members coming back to the town to help them out. Here's to hoping for a bonafide sequel and not another ridiculous re-make. But again, as noted, Craven isn't involved so it might turn out to be a shit-sandwich.

Plain Jayne Mansfield said...


I'm a follower, but this is my first post here.

I agree with everything you're saying, but I just wanted to point out that the rapper Ghostface Killah got his name from a kung-fu film called, "Mystery of Chessboxing" (alternatively "Ninja Checkmate") not "Scream." Also, he's been around since 1993, years before "Scream" came out.

Are you familiar with the rap group Wu-Tang Clan? He's a member.

Good post, great blog; toodle-loo.

gord said...

I'd love to see a final chapter to the series. Something that ends it while also going back to the more serious tone of the first film. It's not that I don't like the latter two, which I know people hate (sorry I'm a sucker for self referential/film in joke movies, no matter how bad usually), it just seems like the difference between something like Scream 3 and say the Scary Movie franchise isn't that big.

I'd also like to see them start to make a little more sense, since the out of left field reveals in the last two were really lame.

And I don't think they need to impress everyone. The demographic for people who saw the original films should be enough.

Anonymous said...

HorrorFolm Mag is officially reporting that this is not a remake/reboot but a sequel. Hooray!

Anonymous said...


Jonathan said...

Hey, why not resurrect/demolish two standout horror movies from the 90s and make it Scream vs. Blair Witch?

Anonymous said...

You are stupid, and this is why females shouldn't be involved in the horror genre as far as having opinions. SCRE4M wasn't a remake or reboot. It was a sequel to a franchise that many horror fans have been begging to be brought back to life. And this isn't a movie that only mallrat thirteen year old kids with no horror appreciation will go see, so get your shit straight before you make stupid comments. I'm a true, dedicated horror fan, and I loved this movie, not only because it revitalized one of the only few horror franchises that's any decent and changed the horror genre forever, but because I have an open mind and can tell when a movie is good. Hey, if you don't like SCRE4M because you're too close-minded to realize a great film when you see it, go watch Hannah Montana or Justin Bieber.

BJ Colangelo said...

@Jigsaw_Killer-If you look at the date this post was created, it was in 2009 when they were originally going to simply remake the first one.

Good to know you're a true, dedicated horror fan...but maybe you should learn to read.

ZVPER said...

hahaha "Now that there's a rapper named Ghostface Killah". I know this article has nothing to do with hip-hop music, but let's show the great Ghost Deini some respect! He was rising to international fame with the Wu-Tang Clan before the Scream movies even came out.

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