Thursday, June 25, 2009

10 HORROR BOOKS I MUST READ BEFORE FALL SEMESTER.


Well in the good ol' border of Illinois and Wisconsin I was greeted this morning with not only a missing set of parents (thankyou Bon Jovi playing Summerfest!) but also a 9 BILLION degree forecast. Needless to say, I'm spending my day in doors for fear of melting. When I'm not blogging or stalking all of my readers/co-bloggers on facebook, I am an avid reader. I am one of those girls that goes to a book store and intends to read just a chapter or two to see if I like it, and end up reading the whole thing. Hey, saves me money. So I went on Borders to see if I could search up some new horror dandies for my summer reading list. Not only was I bitch-smacked in the face with the Twatlight bombarding me as the first picks when I typed "HORROR" but I was also pleasantly suprised. So, I've compiled a list of the 10 books I plan on reading before I head back to middle of nowhere Macomb for school. PS; that picture has nothing to do with this entry, it's just me being awesome.

Never Slow Dance With A Zombie: E. Van Lowe.
From all of the researching and such I've done on this book, I'm way too psyched. Do I care that it's written in the time frame of junior & high school? HELL NO. It's like Dance of the Dead with better editing! I however have to wait for its release in August..butThey also give you nifty rules :)
  • Rule #1: While in the halls, walk slowly and wear a vacant expression on your face. Zombies won't attack other zombies.
  • Rule #2: Never travel alone. Move in packs. Follow the crowd. Zombies detest blatant displays of individuality.
  • Rule #3: If a zombie should attack, do not run. Instead, throw raw steak at to him. Zombies love raw meat. This display of kindness will go a long way.
Flesh: Richard Laymon
No one in town has ever seen anything like it; a slimy, mobile tube of glistening yellow flesh with dull, staring eyes and an obscene, probing mouth. But the real horror is not what it looks like, or what it does when it invades your flesh - but what it makes you do to others. Thanks Amazon.Com for that MARVELOUS introduction. This is another book I have to wait until August to get the Mass Market reveal. It sounds pretty damn awesome. It's like mind control flubber, how freaking cool is that?! I can't wait. I really can't. It's going to be fabulous. It's going to end up being a movie (most likely). I really really really can't wait.

Lost Echoes: Joe R. Lansdale
This one is written by a 6-Time Stoker winner, so I know it's gotta be good. Oh yeah, he's also the same guy who wrote Bubba Ho-Tep...yes. The one with Bruce (i'd let you bone me with that chin) Campbell. Well, at least the short story that INSPIRED the film. This one is about Harry Wilkes, who develops the disconcerting ability of “hearing” trapped sounds that carry full-blown and bloody images of murders, rapes, vicious beatings, and traffic accidents. Uh, sounds terrifying and awesome.


Sharp Objects: Gillian Flynn
Chicago journalist Camille Preaker — whose penchant for self-mutilation has left her body a scarred map — is sent back to her hometown of Wind Gap, Missouri, to cover the murders of several young girls. Did an out-of-towner commit the crimes, as the police chief thinks, or was it a local, as Camille gradually comes to believe? Every day there brings her closer to an answer, but also forces her to relive more of her appalling childhood. -Entertainment Weekly
I love mysteries, I love them. I can't wait.

Cemetery Dance: Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child
No, no one wrote a novel completely surrounded by Linnea Quigley's dancing on the tombstone. William Smithback, a New York Times reporter, and his wife, Nora Kelly, an anthropologist with the New York Museum of Natural History, are celebrating their first anniversary when Smithback is fatally stabbed in their Manhattan apartment, apparently by a creepy neighbor, Colin Fearing, an out-of-work British actor. Given eyewitness descriptions of the killer, including one from Kelly herself, as well as surveillance footage showing a blood-stained Fearing emerging from the apartment building right after the crime, the case appears to be open and shut—until Pendergast and his NYPD ally, Lt. Vincent D'Agosta, learn that Fearing died almost two weeks earlier. -Amazon SICK!

Patient Zero: Jonathan Maberry.
Patient Zero is the latest and greatest from Jonathan Maberry. A cross between zombie fiction and 24-style government espionage. It's the story of hard-boiled cop Joe Ledger, and how he gets mixed up in a top secret agency's struggle against terrorists trying to use the undead as weapons of mass destruction....and what a fuckin page-turner. I'm reading. 75 pages in a sitting.-B-Sol :)


House of Leaves-Mark Z. Daneilewski
I've gotten more crap for not reading this book and being a horror blogger than I think I have for being Italian and not being tan. Had The Blair Witch Project been a book instead of a film, and had it been written by, say, Nabokov at his most playful, revised by Stephen King at his most cerebral, and typeset by the futurist editors of Blast at their most avant-garde, the result might have been something like House of Leaves. Written by a blind man named Zampanò, about a nonexistent documentary film--which itself is about a photojournalist who finds a house that has supernatural, surreal qualities. In addition to this Russian-doll layering of narrators, Danielewski packs in poems, scientific lists, collages, Polaroids, appendices of fake correspondence and "various quotes," single lines of prose placed any which way on the page, crossed-out passages, and so on.-Amazon

Zen of Zombie: Scott Kenemore
But what can I learn from zombies?' you are asking yourself. The answer: plenty. In The Zen of Zombie you'll learn some interesting skills, such as:
  • How to adapt to anything life (or the living) throws at you
  • How to slow down
  • How to remove prejudice from your life (a brain is a brain is a brain)
  • How to find strength in numbers (zombie Horde, anyone?)
  • How to stop negotiating and start demanding what you want (zombies don't settle for a nose - they want the brain)
  • How to make each word count (zombies want brains, zombies say "brains")
  • and much, much more! -Think Geek
Breathers: A Zombie's Lament-S.G. Browne
So the author of this book is a twitter follower of mine and ever since he started following me, I've been dying to get my hands on this book. It's about Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence, But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty-one-year-old car crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. -OFFICIAL SITE


Pride & Prejudice & Zombies: Jane Austen, Seth Grahame-Smith, Kenneth Grahame, and David G. Grahame-Smith.

What kind of female English major with a blog dedicated to horror films would I be if I don't read this book NOW!? I'd be a pretty lame one at that. I don't need to hijack another review or synopsis to help explain why I'm itching to read this one. I've never been that big of an Austen fan because, I'm not a feminist, or rich, or non-American. However, I do respect what she's brought to literature. I will respect even more the fact that we can take one of her most famous, and completely flip it upside down. Absolutely ASTOUNDING.

10 comment(s):

RayRay said...

That's quite the list, my girl. Very ambitious for your summer reading list, and I wish I had a month off to join you in delving into those tomes. Just don't forget the classics, like my beloved Howard Philips Lovecraft. Without him we'd have no horror as we'd recognize it.

BJ-C said...

I've read almost all of HP Lovecraft. Which is why its not on my list. I started reading him shortly after I finished the classics of Stephen King.

B-Sol said...

A few of my own personal list to add:

Infected by Scott Sigler
The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe
Frankenstein: A Cultural History by Susan Tyler Hitchcock
Gospel of the Living Dead by fellow LoTTD-er Kim Paffenroth
The Rising by Brian Keene
The Loch by Steve Alten
Deeper by James A. Moore
They Hunger by Scott Nicholson

Hmmm...Might need to do my own list post!

Phantom of Pulp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
James said...

You can't go wrong with anything by Joe R. Lansdale. LOST ECHOES is a good one. Also check out just about any of his short story collections -- the guy is my favorite author, hands down (I still can't believe that I not only got to meet him last summer, but was also invited to sit on a few panels with him and chat about writing!). Wow.

And you are in for one hell of a treat with Gillian Flynn's SHARP OBJECTS. It's the best debut novel I've read in the last 10 or 15 years. No kidding. A masterpiece. I read it, finished it, and immediately started it all over again. Can't wait to read her new one, DARK PLACES, which should be hitting my mailbox any day now . . . .


J.N.
http://www.james-newman.com

oducerproducer said...

Outside of Stephen King & Max Brooks i never really got into horror books, i've always wanted to get into Lovecraft but never have. I do love horror graphic novels though

jpelliott said...

Patient Zero was the first Maberry book I read and it is great. Can't wait to read the sequel.
I just started the last book called Bad Moon Rising in Maberry's trilogy which started with Ghost Road Blues and Dead Man's song. It really has everything a horror fan can ask for...good versus evil, Halloween geekiness, werewolves, vampires and lots of murderous rampages.
After this I may go back and read the second of Kim Paffenroth's Dying to Live series. He may be the most gruesomely descriptive writer I've ever read.

B-Sol said...

Paffenroth is a great writer, I recommend his Gospel of the Living Dead, its a great read, all about religious themes in Romero's movies.

And yes, Patient Zero is amazing.

Phantom of Pulp said...

Other recommendations for you:

Cover by Jack Ketchum (new Leisure edition)
Quake by Richard Laymon
Sheep and Wolves by Jeremy C. Shipp
The Auctioneer by Joan Samson
The Dead Parade by James Roy Daley

Ms Harker said...

The last three have peaked my interest, I have been eyeing of Pride and Predjudice at the local book store... Can I say don't bother with the new Anita Blake Vapire Hunter, talk about taking the CSI detective bullocks to the extreme, and still no raunch and I'm up to chapter 50! Keep an eye out for a rant post! Hahaha!

Oh, have you got your hands on 'Handling the Undead' written by John Avindje Lindqvist (LTROI), fantastic book.

www.musingconitnuum.com

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