Wednesday, May 6, 2009


Hallelujah for Hump-Day. So in dedication for it being not only hump day, but also Wednesday's Woman of the Week...I bring a fabulous woman who is oh-so humpworthy. Now, I hated on her character in Edward Scissorhands a few days ago, but I must admit...Winona Ryder is scrumptious. She adds an eerie sex appeal to every character she plays as well as playing some damn well memorable characters. She's dabbled in the horror genre and also done respectively well in the "main-stream" cinema world. So Congratulations to you Winona Ryder, you are the Woman of the Week.

Named after Winona, Minnesota-the town in which she was born (Minnesota explains the accent =]). She was picked on as a child constantly because people would often mistake her for a scrawny effiminite boy.

Her first role was a small one in the teen classic Lucas. However, it wasn't until her second film that she finally made a name for herself. Starring in a completely block-busting cast of Michael Keaton, Geena Davis, Alec Baldwin, and Catherine O'Hara; Winona nabbed the spot of the loveable goth Lydia Deetz in Tim Burton's Beetlejuice. Lydia Deetz was the combination of a submissive father and a domineering "awkward sculpture" artist mother. After she discovers she has the ability to see the recently deceased Maitland couple, she finally makes a friend. When the Maitland's call on the help of Beetlejuice to scare the Deetz's out of their house, Lydia becomes his little obsession. While he wants the family out, he wants Lydia to be the "Bride of Beetlejuice". The character of Lydia Deetz has become the little goth icon for girls across the nation, and even had her own cartoon :)

Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count...Way before Lindsay tried to tear apart the popular crowd from the inside out, we had this film. The film that proves the Box Office can eat my shorts when it comes to high quality films. It may not be a "horror film" per say, but its fabulous enough and has enough kills to make it one. Heathers was a complete box office flop but has a bigger cult following than anything some hunky actor made big. Playing the role of Veronica, you see a girl involved in the popular social group only's her job to be popular. But when she starts dating J.D. she "accidentally" kills her clique leader Heather Chandler. She then later finds herself in a "killing spree" when she kills the two high school jocks Kurt and Ram when they spread rumors about her blowing them both at the same time. J.D. plants gay parophenilia by their beds and notes claiming the two to be gay lovers and in a suicide pact together. J.D. gives her a gun with "Ich Lüge" bullets that she was told will stun them. Any German knows that "Ich Lüge" means "I'm lying" and she kills the two boys. Thus giving us the amazing scene of I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON! at the funerals.
J.D. plans to blow up the school and tells Veronica of it. Veronica confronts J.D. in the boiler room where he is rigging timed explosives before a pep rally. She attempts to kill him when he refuses to stop the bomb. As J.D. collapses, he accidentally stops the timer. Veronica walks out through the pep rally with everyone cheering, unaware of their narrowly-missed demise. The severely injured J.D. follows her outside, and blows himself to bits with a bomb strapped to his chest. The final scene of the film is of Veronica, covered in ash and bleeding slightly, walking through the school halls. She confronts Heather Duke and tells her "There's a new sheriff in town." Kissing Heather on the cheek, she takes the red hair bow Heather Duke had inherited from Heather Chandler and puts it in her own hair.

After doing a few indie films, she re-connected with Tim Burton to play Kim Boggs, the love interest of Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands. Now if you look a few days back, you'll know that I HATE the character of Kim Boggs, so rather than write a bunch of new reasons why, I'm just gonna paraphrase what I wrote last time...."I never once for a second saw her "understand" Edward in any way, shape, or form. As far as I'm concerned, she has a razorblade fetish. If that's the case. She should just go bone Ville Valo from H.I.M. He's got the same haircut. I'm sure he'll touch you with razors, too. No offense to Tim Burton, but he's made a better love story with a Baldwin & Geena Davis, and claymation characters....twice."

A few more "under the radar" films later, Winona appears again in the classic, Bram Stroker's Dracula. Winona nabbed the role of Mina, Lucy's best friend and the reincarnation of Dracula's long dead wife, Elisabeta. After his love for Lucy is diminished by her own demise, Dracula turns his attention to Mina. Mina and her fiance Jonathan join the coalition around Abraham Van Helsing, who discover the secret of Count Dracula and turn their attentions to destroying him. After Dracula learns of this plot against him, he takes revenge by visiting — and biting — Mina at least three times. Dracula also feeds Mina his blood, destining her to become a vampire at her death. While the film has its differences from the novel, the breathtaking portrayal of Mina is one to remembered.

She wasn't Ellen Ripley, but Winona Ryder nabbed a role as Annalee Call in Alien Resurrection. Sigourney Weaver had the acidic blood to keep away the aliens, but Call was the young new mercanary to her aid. As the newest crew member of the Betty. She recognizes Ripley and has knowledge of the Aliens. Call first attempts to assassinate the Ripley clone but ends up being her trusty companion as they fight the Alien menace. Call is revealed during the course of the film to be an android, but helps the survivors interface with the Auriga. Being an android makes Winona quite possibly the sexiest robot to ever grace the screen.

Winona played many huge roles in comedy and indie films alike, but her portrayals in the horror and science fiction genres are ones to truly be noted. Pretty soon, we'll get to see her again as Amanda Grayson in the new Star Trek film. Thank-you Winona for all you do in the acting world :) Just say out of Saks 5th Avenue, and we'll be okay.

7 comment(s):

B-Sol said... totally spent half your post talking about Heathers, which, last time I checked isn't even a horror movie... **rolls eyes**

Anonymous said...

Excuse me sir, I would argue that Heathers indeed slots into the horror genre, how often has your dead friend paid you a visit at a church font? In fact I have a pending post to make the case. BJ-C you have ESP beeyatch I was just saying last night how much I love Winona AND Heathers! (will make sure I pingback your way!)

Ms Harker

Soap Magic said...

What a coincidence. I just saw Bram Stoker's Dracula before reading this post!

B-Sol said...

Ms. Harker, you mean I wasn't a convincing enough a-hole commenter??

gord said...

My general dislike for Winona aside (bad actress, good looks), I thought she was absolutely dreadful in Dracula (a movie that, although visually appealing, is pretty awful regardless) and was probably the worst part of Alien Resurrection, an absolute abomination of a film.

Pardon that my Winona hate has been a major part of my so-far-few posts here, but in the grand tradition of internet discourse I feel it is my duty to express a counter opinion. Though taking into account B-Sol's grand soliloquy from earlier today, I respect your opinion!

Also, love the blog.

BJ-C said...

At least you respond eloquently :)

Anonymous said...

Oh B-Sol, don't talk about holes! You are always wise and just in your responses... mostly. ;)

Ms Harker

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