Tuesday, May 26, 2009

TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY!!

Happy Tuesday! I know I'm a horrible blogger and totally procrastinated and didn't do this yet. Feel free to badger me and throw stones. However, get excited because myself and a handful of other beauty queens are seeing the premiere of Drag Me To Hell this weekend and I promise, that will be an adventure to talk about.

So this is a poster I've been saving away for a rainy day...and it's pouring. Diane Lane is one of my favorite actresses, and I love seeing her in anything, on anything, and having anything in her. However I do not, I repeat, DO NOT like her on this poster.

First, that text is minuscule. If they intended anyone to read that text, they failed. Not only is it itty-bitty, but they chose a "thin" font. Thin fonts are hard to read already because all of the letters look the same.

I HATE how they put Diane Lane's name in 1) Red font which is so harsh on the eyes where her neck is, 2) Put spaces in between every letter like its T H E D A R K K N I G H T, 3) How her name is so tiny.

Also, why is the poster out of focus? I feel like I need to be hitting my monitor to get it in focus. It's that or she's in front of a half closed blinded window. Both of which are really craptacular things. Her face in this poster also looks like the tilted head dog face, but only in the eyes. It's not a very attractive picture. Plus, without that cursor over her mouth, look at her expression...it's almost a good thing that annoying hand is there.

Lastly. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT DAMN CURSOR. Get it off, get it off, get it off!
It's like when a bug is on your windshield but its on the OUTSIDE of your windshield. What's making me so frustrated is that this image has NOTHING to do with the film. She's trying to catch an internet killer and it makes it look as though the internet is like Big Brother or something. The GOVERNMENT won't let her use the super computer, not the killer, so.....lame. Going along with the image being blurry, why is the image blurry and the hand completely fine? That doesn't happen. It's impossible. It's also VERY hard on the eyes because you're drawn to the image of the hand and it hurts to see something so clear surrounded by something so jittery. This isn't Silence of the Lambs, you have not earned the right to draw us to the mouth by putting a clear object on a blurry one.

WOAH. BRAINWAVE: It looks like they're almost trying to imitate the Silence of the Lambs poster. I'm probably wrong, but if I'm not...FAIL. I mean the film is supposed to show how far humanity has slipped and how we're such horrible people, I don't know. A modern twist to that poster could be the intent. Well, intentions are great-but this doens't follow through.

6 comment(s):

B-Sol said...

One of the most annoying posters I have EVERRRR seen. Congrats on finally getting around to it.

And um...a bunch of beauty queens going to a midnight showing of Drag Me to Hell? How could that not be a story for the ages?? I await it with bated breath.

Stac said...

That damn cursor actually had me wiggling around on my track pad for a minute, thinking that was me. Corner of my eye gets me every time.

Phantom of Pulp said...

Very good call. This poster is a shocking stinker.

It's also annoying that it's textured to appear as a webcam image, but she isn't looking INTO the webcam.

A sloppy, rotten idea.

Tower Farm said...

Wow...you are so right. Just looking at that cursor sends my hand into spasms to move the imaginary mouse.

-Billy

Planet of Terror said...

Please tell me you will be wearing pageant sashes and taking pictures?

I tried to get into an advanced screening of Drag Me To Hell last night in Dallas. Got there 2 hours early, but no dice. Saw the new Terminator instead. What a crapfest.

monsterscholar said...

Was it really? I'll bide my time until it comes to the dollar cinema. And about the poster, Diane Lane is a beautiful woman but here they make her look like a slob. So sad

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