Tuesday, May 5, 2009

TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY!

Hello out there DotW children. It's everyone's favorite day of the week, TERRIBLE POSTER TUESDAY! This week I'm featuring a film that I almost didn't even watch because of the poster. The film itself is pretty mediocre, but when it comes to horror films, I DO judge a film by its poster. It's all about marketing people! Plus, that whole "don't judge a book by its cover" thing originated, WHEN BOOKS HAD BLANK COVERS So...irrelevant. :)

First, there's way too much text at the top. Not only do you have the same font as Quarantine, but there's a whole friggen paragraph. The only reason the whole "paragraph of words for a 'documentary' style film" thing worked for The Blair Witch Project, was because there was a blank background. This one does NOT have a blank background so it's extremely distracting. Also, the poster looks all torn and the letters...don't. Stupid... AND, if you're gonna give us a paragraph...it better be some mother-fucking Mark Twain shit.

Secondly, WHY IS THE TAGLINE SO SMALL AND AT THE BOTTOM. You've already given me a crap-tastic paragraph that basically rips of TBWP completely, and then you give me a half-assed tagline. Please readers, put on your best movie announcer voice and say the tagline with me. Now please put on a helmet because you sound freaking special trying to sound scary with that damn tagline. "The last thing his victims saw...was his camera" LAME. Honestly, they probably saw the back of their eyelids, because I don't know many people who lay their like a deer in headlights when they know they're about to die. They close their eyes people.

Third, the goddamn VHS tapes. Have you ever seen the direct to VHS video camera's from the 90's? There is no way in HELL this guy could have lugged that thing around and successfully went unnoticed killing people. You'd just have to hit him in the knees and he'd be down. Those cameras are SO bulky and heavy, he'd topple right over. Even if he used a smaller one, any video recording device from the 90's was bulky and not so handy, so that throws the believability out the door for me.

Fourth, what is in the background? Did we saran wrap cardboard boxes or are we smuggling drugs? I'm just very confused with al the boxes. I mean, if they're all filled with videos that's understandable, BUT THEN WHY IS THERE A TABLE OF TAPES? It just doesn't make a lick of sense...at all

2 comment(s):

B-Sol said...

Yes, I agree, it is all about marketing :-)

And a Mark Twain reference as well, nicely done!

Oh, and this poster sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls.

musingcontinuum said...

Yeah, this poster is shit balls for sure! ;)What was I saying yesterday about manners? Bahahah!

Ms Harker
www.musingcontinuum.wordpress.com

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