Thursday, May 7, 2009

Let's Join A Cult!

Before I start, please vote on the poll to the right. It'll help decide what kind of monthly features I'll be dishing out for you peoples.

I've made the comment before that I'm a complete pain in the ass to take to blockbuster. Not just because I've seen all the big named films on the racks, but because I've seen the ones you pick up as a joke to make fun of the descriptions on the back. Since starting this blog, I'm pleased to announce that I'm not alone. *READ YESTERDAY'S LONG ASS DESCRIPTION OF HEATHERS*Many of you DotW readers share the same sick love affair of really shitty or really campy flicks. However, these cult films are the worlds biggest walking oxymorons. They're awful, we know they're awful, but we tell all of our friends that they're AMAZING! We hate bad films, but LOVE really really really bad films. Where is the bar of a bad film and a "so bad it's good" film? Who knows. Alls I know, is my heart will forever lie with really bad cinema. Especially horror....and Bruce Campbell *drools*. So here's a handful of my personal favorite "cult" films.

Having quite possibly my favorite title of any film, horror or not, EVER, The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. I had no idea this film was a comedy. It looked TERRIFYING, a bunch of long-haired creepers climbing out of the sets to attack the showgirls and pull them to the floor. I was under the impression that this film was going to scare the living crap of me, and then I saw it. I WISH I could become a zombie just by being hypnotized...This film was like Zombes of Mora Tau plus Pee-Wee's Playhouse. This is an underrated film that I absolutely love watching, I recommend it to anyone.

Based off of Ray Nelson's short story "Eight O’Clock in the Morning", John Carpenter brought us They Live. How freaking cool would it be to have those glasses? A film considered a cult classic, it gave us not just a horror film, but an insight on the social elite. It's the love child of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and 1984. Just putting together the idea of Aliens and subliminal messaging seems sort of out there...but it's awesome. It's also giving us the COOLEST fight scene I've ever seen, and my favorite quote "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...I'm all out of bubble gum."

Okay, I'm not even going to make an attempt to make this horror related, but this is one of my top favorite films of all time. Heather Matazarro at her FINEST in Welcome to the Dollhouse. I'm mentioning this film, because it seems that this is a universal love affair for horror fans. Some reason or another, every horror fiend of a friend I have has loved this film. So I'm going to bring it to your attention. Plus, what's scarier than having a bully who tries to control your bowel movements?

This one, I CAN stretch into a horror flick. The film tells of the suicides of the five Lisbon sisters in an upper middle class suburb of Detroit, during the 1970s. The girls’ suicides fascinate their community as their neighbors struggle to find an explanation for the acts. This family has this strange plague or pact of suicides of the sisters living under an extremely sheltered roof. These girls jumped off of buildings, hung themselves from ceilings, put their heads in the ovens, and sat in the garage with the car running. A pretty grotesque tale but somehow, put together beautifully.

You didn't think I was going to be discussing cult films without making mention of my sexpot fantasy Bruce Campbell and his fabulous films with Sam Raimi known as the Evil Dead series did you? Good thing you know me well enough to know that Ash would be making an appearance in here :). This film is the EPITOME of a cult film. The classic one-liners (I don't think so. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "fine"? or, IM GONNA BREAK YOUR FACE! ), The cheesy-yet-endearing makeup effects, the weird events, (raping trees anyone?), the insane Sam Raimi camera-work, and of course, the over-the-top gore. These films skyrocketed Bruce Campbell into a cult hero/icon/obsession, the grooviest ghoulie that ever did live, as well as my personal ceiling poster... fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. PS; How the HELL, did they get Bridget Fonda to play Linda in Army of Darkness? If anyone even attempts to remake these...I'm loading up my boomstick, and I'mma head on down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch.

but the Mack Daddy, Big Kahuna, Super Amazing, Hottest Thing Since A Pushup Bra, cult film is....


In case you didn't read my rant about how I am flipping shit (in the worst way possible) about MTv remaking this film , know that I am an AVID RHPS fan. I don't just dress skanky at the shows and yell ASSHOLE, I have a fully committed Columbia costume, and I know every single call out. Oh yeah, and if you text my phone...Planet, Schmanet, Janet plays. So I'm definitely a die-hard transvestite. This film is one that has truly stood the test of time. With the Oriental Theatre's group Sensual Daydreams in Milwaukee having the world record for the longest running RHPS call out's season (30+ YEARS STRONG!) This film has touched the lives of generation to generation. People are still wearing the same costumes, singing the same songs, throwing the same shit, and screaming the same call-outs. This low-budget, weirdly put together, awkward subject matter having production is a film that is truly a incredible. The culture makes it a cult film, the film makes it a classic.

5 comment(s):

B-Sol said...

A hands-down classic, every one. Love Welcome to the Dollhouse. And for the record..

Top photo = BEST. PICTURE. EVER.

Anonymous said...

I'm starting the Hard Rock Zombies cult, my personal fav. Rowdy Roddy Piper was the man in They Live.

Anonymous said...

Virgin Suicides, haunting, beautiful disturbing film, my favourite kind. I have the book and keep meaning to read it...

Ms Harker

BJ Colangelo said...

Planet of Terror: Can I be the President of Giant Head posters?

Ms. Harker: The book is phenom. I love it.

Unknown said...

Great article!!!! WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE is TOTALLY horror in my book....but so is HAPPINESS...

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