Thursday, April 23, 2009

DAY OF THE WOMAN PRESENTS: THE TOP ZOMBIE WOMEN

So recently, I've come across my newest obsession, LostZombies[dot]com. Let's just say that it is an online "zombie" social networking site attempting to build a horde of fans, and they are creating the first-ever community generated zombie film & book. Meaning, you join, you submit your zombie pictures and zombie walk videos, make your own zombie videos, and they are compiling it all into a movie. Even cooler, yours truly was even named the Zombie Babe of the Night (pictured to the right). So that got me to thinking... there isn't much talk of female zombies. We all know people like Big Daddy, Bub and Conquistador... but what about the girls? It is for this reason that I've compiled a list of the top zombie women.

15) GIGANTO LADY FROM DAWN OF THE DEAD
She may not be the hottest zombie on this list. Probably the only one that isn't attractive on this list, but you gotta admit, her awakening was SCARY. Zombies are scary enough when you know they're hungry for your flesh, but this one just looks HUNGRY! She looks the love child of Tom's wife on Tom Goes to the Mayor and post infection Brenda from Slither. She earned a spot by scaring us little horror fans everywhere.

14) LIVING DEAD DOLLSThese aren't real, but then again, neither are zombies. I love the Living Dead Dolls. These little buggers are so eerie you have to love them. Every little undead girl needs to have a little undead companion, and the Living Dead Dolls are the perfect ones! Hot Topic kids all over the country are eating these creatures up like CRAZY.  Whatever gruesome little ghouls you can imagine, I guarantee you can find in doll form from these little dead lovelies. Now, these dolls come in many forms, but they're on this list for their AWESOME zombie doll. Check it out, and get one for yourself!

13) BLONDE ZOMBIE FROM DAWN OF THE DEAD ('78)
This one may not have been the most convincing zombie, but she sure made a statement. If you look at this picture, she's almost smiling. I don't know about you, but I don't think many zombies smile. This grinning ghoul however gave a touch of glamor to the undead world. Not to mention, the actress playing her was one of Tom Savini's makeup artists for the film. How awesome is that?


12) ZOMBIE PINUPSI am a total sucker LOVE glamorous zombie makeup. These lovely ladies truly represent the kind of woman I would want in my life. We've forgotten what a truly CLASSIC beauty is...plus, they are classic pinups....ZOMBIFIED! These ladies are the absolute perfect combination of horror and hotness. Their tagline is "Beauty & BRAAIIIIIIINSSS!" and they couldn't be more correct on that one. The ability to make a zombie a beautiful creature is a pretty tough feat, and these women do it with ease. Plus, who wouldn't want a zombie pin up calendar?


11) MARY FROM SHAUN OF THE DEAD
While the zombie outbreak is all around Shaun and Ed, their drunk asses don't even realize the undead are walking amongst them! It isn't until their encounter with Mary the cashier who winds up in Shaun's garden that they figure out brain-thirsty zombies have invaded England. Who can forget the scene where Shaun asks for help and Ed takes a picture? Or the whipping of Sade albums at her head, and finally the introduction of the cricket bat as the most iconic zombie killing instrument since the boomstick?

10) BIG TITS McGEE IN ZOMBIES OF MORA TAU
Allison Hayes has been my WotW before, and we've mentioned her classic status as the 50 ft. Woman, but I didn't talk much about her in Zombies of Mora Tau. In this film, she sports quite possibly the GREATEST bra that man has ever known. I have no idea how boobs that big are up that high. It's a miracle. Now you look at her and she looks less like a Zombie and more like a model, but hey, it works for me. Just because you're not rotting doesn't mean you can't lust for BRAAAAAAAAAAINS.

9) ZOMBIE THAT HANGS BY BIG DADDY IN LAND OF THE DEAD
Okay, so her real "credited" character name is Number 9. But as much as I love the Beatles reference, I think that name doesn't suit her. That doesn't mean that she doesn't earn a spot on this list. She is absolutely gorgeous for a zombie. Plus, SHE LOVES BASEBALL! She's basically me as a zombie. Anyone who can make the "dead-and-missing-part-of-my-mouth" look attractive is okay in my book.

8) JENNA JAMESON IN ZOMBIE STRIPPERS
Do I really need to explain why she made it to this list? She's Jenna Fucking Jameson. Probably the biggest name in porn since Marilyn Monroe's centerfold and she's A ZOMBIE. It's basically my biggest fantasy come to life. Love her or hate her, Jenna Jameson made a damn sexy Zombie. I have wished to be Robert Englund before, but never nearly as much as I did after seeing him receive special treatment from these steamy zombie women.

7) TAMMY FROM FIDO
This is another one of those zombies I absolutely adore. The film itself combines two of my favorites, Night of the Living Dead & Pleasantville. First of all, she wins the award for the best Zombie hair-do EVER. If anyone out there has tried to re-create fifties style hair rolls, they are the most difficult things to do EVER. Let alone rock them when you've been dead. For a zombie, she also has some ROCKING skin. I am fully alive and my skin doesn't look nearly as good as hers does. I got her beat in the smile department, but when you're only purpose is to give "companionship" to the living, I'm sure they won't mind. She's also got some really pretty eyes for a zombie. They're very lovely. Still don't understand why she's here? Well, how about the fact that... she puts out. Laugh if you must, but if you can have wild zombie sex, take advantage of it. Is it necrophilia if the dead know they're being wanged?

6) NAKED ZOMBIE FROM NIGHT OF THE LIVNG DEAD
This zombie is probably more famous for her butt than anything else. Why naked zombies? Well, why not?! Why should zombies have to worry about clothing? They don't have anyone to impress. In fact, I don't think I've seen another naked zombie other than Pete in SOTD. If you look back at my older posts, you'll know that the VHS box art for this film gave me nightmares, and yes, HER ASS was a part of that. PS: Does anyone else notice the striking resemblance this picture has to the I Spit on Your Grave cover. If not, look at this pic, and then look at my blog header... weird.

5) LIVING DEAD GIRLZI'll be honest. I am absolutely OBSESSED with the Living Dead Girlz. It's like someone put the Pussycat Dolls in a room with Zombies and someone who could actually dance and BAM, out popped these ladies. Not only are they drop-dead[literally] gorgeous women, but they have some killer dance skills. I'll be the first to tell you I'm a mad dancer and watching these girls dance is like a dream. If you ever get the chance, see a show, they're FABULOUS. Maybe in about 5 years they'll want a new gimmick and have a baton twirling dead girl... If only...

4) ZOMBIE NURSE IN DAWN OF THE DEAD ('78)
This film has more "character" zombies than any other film I've seen, but I LOVE the Zombie Nurse. How scary is it when there's a zombie outbreak, and even those who are supposed to help us heal are the ones infected?! It's pretty eerie knowing that instead of taking my temperature, she'll probably eat my face off. Plus, look at this picture, that face is priceless. :)

3) JULIE WALKER IN RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD III
By far one of the the HOTTEST zombies to ever grace the screen. Julie Walker makes piercing glass look foxy. Her makeup is absolutely fabulous, and words cannot even encompass the sexuality that just races around her. She's got a slamming figure, and one of the nicest racks to ever be in the horror genre. Now, ROTLD III isn't a "good" horror movie by any means, but just because the movie isn't up to par doesn't mean you can't have steaming hot memorable characters!

2) TRASH FROM RETURN OF THE LIVING DEADEveryone's favorite grave-dancing hoochie has her ultimate fantasy become reality, only to become arguably the sexiest zombie of all time. I recently pondered if Trash was hotter alive or undead. And while the jury may still be out on that one, just answer me this question: No one wants to have their brains eaten out, but if it absolutely, positively HAD to happen, is there honestly anyone else you'd rather have do it?


1) KAREN COOPER FROM NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
Arguably, Karen Cooper gets the most love from your friends here at DotW, but hell, she deserves it! With the most iconic picture of horror history, one of the coolest weapons of death, and the fact that homegirl ATE HER BIOLOGICAL FATHER, who else would be on top? She is the 'first' female Zombie of the Zombie age that we all know and love and in my opinion, the character that put Romero on the map. Our darling little daddy mucher is by far the greatest Female Zombie of all-time.

21 comment(s):

Planet of Terror said...

Love it! You take things that most horror watchers take for granted and make an awesome list. Which makes me think, Anna Falchi is another great choice in Cemetary Man. Good stuff!

B-Sol said...

Trash! Trash! Trash! Trash!

BJ-C said...

B, You are ridiculous! I'm just going to buy you a Linnea Quigley blow-up doll.

hagiblog said...

Plenty of good looking zombies here. I'm particularly fond of Karen Cooper. That still you have up is one of my favorite shots ever.

B-Sol said...

They exist?? Awesome. Sounds like a date!

BJ-C said...

Hagi-I love her so. Only right to make her #1

B-Sol-Well, looks like I'm going to have to improvise your Christmas present. But I can make it. I promise.

B-Sol said...

Well, you do claim to have crafting abilities. This should put them to the test.

BJ-C said...

This sounds like a challenge. It's on. I'm officially making you a TRASH blow up doll. What do I get for this?

B-Sol said...

How about a P.J. Soles blow-up doll?

BJ-C said...

Only if she includes a removable red hat...


WAIT. Is that a jab at my love of P.J. Soles Bri?

B-Sol said...

I would never dare. Besides any time a horror chick shows off her devil's dumplings it's a good thing. At least that's what I always say...

BJ-C said...

See, we can say that, but what if she's disgusting? Then is it acceptable? There's a fine fine line with boobs.

IE: Was it acceptable to show Danielle Harris' rack in Zombieween after we had all grown up on her in Halloween films as a 6 year old? Because I felt like a major pedo watching her alongside Michael, and seeing her rack. I couldn't handle it.

B-Sol said...

Hmmm, ok, maybe I should rephrase that. Anytime a HOT horror chick shows her devil's dumplings. And for the record, I have no problem at all with Danielle Harris showing whatever she likes.

Ghost Dogg said...

Melinda Clarke...freaking wow.

B-Sol said...

My sentiments exactly, Ghost Dogg. And if there's any doubt that the past 15 years has been good to her, proceed here posthaste:
http://www.csiguide.com/images/melinda_clarke.jpg

Alana said...

BJ-C,

You're definitely a babe. Great list.

Peace,
A

Roei T said...

just so youll know. number 15 giganto lady is actually... A MAN DRESSED AS AN AGED WOMAN :)
saw it in behind the scenes of dawn of the dead.

that should maybe give him a few more points,
dont you think? :P

Jesseh said...

Has anyone noticed that Trash's picture now says, "Fuck off and die motherfuckers"?

Either way, I never heard of Fido and I'm getting it RIGHT now. It looks awesome, way to go with the list. It looks like there's a couple of interesting films I haven't heard of.

ali d said...

Amazing!
You have a lovely blog!
Thank you!

Night of the Living Dead said...

Thank you for this very important contribuition to zombie culture. I agree with your #1, well done!

Erik (Drunketh) said...

Just so you know, 2 and 7 are fucked up and 7 now says "fuck off and die you motherfuckers".

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