Thursday, March 26, 2009


Horror/Porn has a bit of a bad reputation. I personally am always willing to promote something that combines two things I enjoy immensely, but what do I know?  Maybe it's the lame puns created by notable films like "Re-Penetrator, Night of the Giving Head, and Fuckenstein". I think when people hear "horror/porn" their brains immediately assume the worst, but horror porn doesn't have to be a twisted adaptation of necrophilia or penetrating wounds or whatever else your twisted little imaginations concoct. Sometimes, we have horror pornos with an excellent balance between porn and horror that are void of any sort of disgust or feelings of regret that force us into needing a shower after the fact

So, as my readers know, I have the occasional episode of actually expressing my small appreciation for super femininity. I in no way ever condone women being recognized simply for their outer appearance, but I'll admit...I have a thing for nude models. I absolutely love pin-up girls, burlesque dancers, call-girls, and playboy playmates. Now, this isn't because I'm some subconscious lesbian or anything, I just personally adore the female form. Why you may ask? Well, I can't answer that...just accept that I have a weird fascination with them. I think its the fact that these are women that I feel are breaking the feminist mold. They're not subjecting themselves or their bodies, they're models. Just models aiming towards a very specific audience The Girls Next Door (Hugh Hefner's favorite girlfriends) are bringing the novel The Telling to life as a horror film. Not only are these foxy ladies starring in the film, but Bridget Marquardt is producing it! So I highly doubt this film is going to be coming of age, nor will it have absolutely brilliant acting, but I promise you I will add this film to my collection simply because it has playboy playmates in it. Plus, another producer, (B-Movie superstar Sherri Strain) is on the credits so I'm sure it won't be completely terrible. I'm not expecting much from it, but I know that my weird taste in films will probably enjoy it.

Jenna Jameson is undoubtedly the worlds greatest porn star of the modern age, I mean...there's even a shot named after her. When she announced that she was going to close her legs for good, America was absolutely mortified. BUT! When we all had thought all hope was lost to ever see Jenna again...she completely redeemed herself! Zombie Strippers has become one of my favorite movies. Sue me, but it's entertaining, it has zombies, AND naked women. Not to mention, Robert Englund plays an integral role to the plot. Be honest here, how can you have a movie with Freddy Kruger and the reigning Queen of Porn and not enjoy it?

Do you know when you were a kid and you used to visit the "Old Ma & Pa Video Store"? The ones with half eaten VHS cases, and a selection of films hidden behind a curtain of beads to keep the children out of? Well, the video store I frequented had the horror films as well as the porn films in the same section, which meant anything that was even remotely close to either of the genres were thrown into this closet. This was how I was introduced to She-Wolves of the Wasteland.(More commonly referred to as Phoenix, the Warrior). While the film doesn't star any porn stars of the GND, or Jenna Jameson stature, the film is fabulously terrible. The premise is that an evil princess in the not-too-distant future in a world completely overrun by scantily clad, leather heaving women, impregnates one of her subjects from a sperm bank. The reasoning is to give birth to a male child for the princess to sacrifice...HELLO AMAZING! Not to mention, the star of the film is Kathleen Kinmont! I'm an avid watcher of "horrible" B-Movies, and this is one of my absolute favorites. It's like Xena: Warrior Princess without the bad bangs.

So back to the porn stars with zombies genre...2007 made ZOMBIES ZOMBIES ZOMBIES: STRIPPERS VS. ZOMBIES. It finally answers that burning question of "If there was a zombie outbreak while I was at a gentlemen's club tossing dollars on women doing things I wish my wife could do...would I make it out alive?" The answer is within this film, and it is absolutely FABULOUS. There is nothing better than hot babes with chainsaws and guns going after the brain craving undead. The acting may not be oscar-worthy, but who really cares? If you're expecting high caliber acting with a movie cover like that, you're taking life too seriously. It's a film jam packed with beautiful women bashing the heads in of zombies! As far as I'm concerned, there's really nothing more you could ever want. This movie is great for fans of B&B (blood &boobs). Did I mention Tiffany Shepis is in this?

3 comment(s):

B-Sol said...

When I was a kid, my video store's horror section was also located near the beaded curtain. No wonder I became a horror fan!

Elwood Jones said...

"Zombie Strippers" and "Zombies, Zombies, Zombies" kinda made me wonder about the pitch meeting they had, which I'm sure was pretty much this.

"Do you like strippers? Do you like Zombies?....well do we have a movie for you!!"

Cool blog

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