Thursday, March 19, 2009

Are you a Good Witch, or a Bad Witch?

Is she a witch? Is she just crazy? Who really knows for sure, but the trailer for Sam Raimi's Drag Me To Hell looks absolutely SICK! Sick, being a new lingo term to describe something that is positive. So as excited as I am for this film to come out, it makes me wonder...why is it that we don't see as many of these cursing countesses as we do say...vampires?

While Dracula, The Mummy, The Wolfman and Frankenstein [insert monster mash dance here] have made the "monster" genre completely male dominated, we women have the witch. While sometimes she's seen as a warted and disgusting old hag, we have some pretty foxy witches. I'm going to give you just a bit of a list of my all-time favorite witches. Some scary, some not. This isn't excluding some of the classics, these are just my personal favorites.

Granted, it's the 3rd installment of a series that I'm normally pretty thrilled about...but our first lovely lady is the wonderful witch in Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes. The series itself is co-written by a woman which is always something I love to see, but the films itself sort of teetered off after the first one. The first one is an absolute classic, the 3rd and 4th...not so stellar. Plus, her name is Haggis. Who doesn't love sheep organs?

The Daughter of the Devil Himself. Linda Hayden plays Angel Blake in the 70's British horror film The Blood On Satan's Claw. After the remains of the devil are found in a field, the townspeople all begin losing their damn minds. Angel, guiding the children is then "adopted" by the devil to be his earthly disciple. She convinces all the children to start participating in satanic rituatls where there's alot of "spilling the blood of the innocent". Not to mention, there's the infamous scene where she goes full monty to a school teacher to seduce him to the ways of Satan. BUT SHE GOT TURNED DOWN! This movie is an absolute classic film and one of my favorite "earthly" witches.

Some people love the film, other people hate it, but regardless of what anyone's personal opinions are about The Craft it is undoubtably one of the best "witch" movies out there. Fairuza Balk is downright terrifying in this tale of sisterhood amongst a witches coven. I'll never forget watching her glide across a floor on just the tips of her toes. It scared me to no end. This look into the occult is a great film in my opinion and has a pretty rockin cast. After Balk's character Nancy is struck by lighting, she becomes the top witch and even walks on water. While the movie ends with her as a crockpot, she's still my favorite witch of the four. I've always found Fairuza Balk to be terrifyingly gorgeous, but this movie just makes her terrifying.

Other than the fact this film has one of the scariest, and gruesome murders to date on film, Suspiria also contains some pretty awesome witches. I personally cannot explain in words why I love the witches in this film so much, because this film is one of my absolute favorites. I could probably quote this film better than the Pope can quote the bible. Okay, so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get what I'm saying.

So not having a mother or father around seriously must have hindered snow white from that whole "do not take candy from strangers" rule. Why anyone would take fruit from this crazy old hag is totally beside me. Queen Grimhilde, The Swamp Witch, The Evil Queen, The Wicked Stepmother, call her what you will, but this is the very first animated witch to ever be brought to our screens and the official spokeswoman for STRANGER DANGER!!! Plus the American Film Instute gave her the #10 slot on the 50 Best Movie Villans of all time.

4 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

I loved The Craft but I haven't seen it in so long and I sadly do not have it among my collection. This I must fix!

CSY said...

Oh, I LOVED The Craft! And why can't women be scary monsters? I mean how different would Halloween have been if it was Michelle Myers instead of Michael?

BJ Colangelo said...

They Can be, and I have more power to the ones that are, I was just pointing out that we are totally male dominated, and the one thing we DO have, we don't milk for all it's worth!

Unknown said...

The Craft was the first horror film I ever saw :D

I liked the black witch the best, she was kickasse.

I still remember the bug scene *shivers*

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