When I was younger, I laughed at the dark, I snickered at the closet monster, I stomped on the monster under the bed, and simply let spiders back outside. I was a bonafide tough girl who wasn't afraid of anything! Well, that's a lie. I was a tough girl on the surface, but would tremble at the strangest things. I had a big issue with being alone as a child. From what I know, many other children shared the same experience. There's something incredibly terrifying about being alone as a child, as well as an adult. You become vulnerable, without protection, and without any defense other than yourself. That's extremely scary to me.
Psychological fears aside, I was TERRIFIED of the VHS box to Night of the Living Dead. I had seen the movie plenty of
times when I was a child, but never had to look at the box the movie came from. I was also a chronic sleepwalker as a child. I would wake up in the kitchen, the family room, basements, even inside a dollhouse before. One night, I had sleepwalked at my best friend's house into the family room and fallen asleep next to her father's collection of horror films. He always had them out for us little ones to choose from. I must have knocked the collection over when I fell to the floor back asleep, because when I woke up that morning, the box for Night of the Living Dead was right next to my face. Imagine waking up to zombies, screaming women, a naked ass, and the word DEAD in huge letters. Needless to say, I screamed bloody murder and woke up the entire house. I would run and scream out of the room whenever anyone pulled out the tape to watch. I even made my parents put our VHS copy in a clear box just so I didn't have to look at the artwork on the front. Damn you Karen Cooper. Damn you and your terrifying gaze. She also resembled my good friend Becky. Seeing her as a zombie always made me fear sleepovers at Becky's house, for fear that she might, I don't know....EAT ME?!
I'm pretty sure I've always had a fear of big eyes. If anyone out there has seen the new season of America's Next Top Model...look at Allison...she gives me nightmares. Anyways, before my parents invested in cable, we only had a few stations. Every so often, the TV companies would give us a trial run through of one of the hot cable stations we were missing out on. When I was about five or so, we finally got a chance to experience the Sci-Fi channel. I stayed up all night watching Sci-Fi. It was about 3am when they had an announcement to "put the kids to bed" I managed to sneak behind a couch and watch the first Child's Play movie. I had no problem watching the film, that was until Chucky talked in the voice of Charles Lee Ray. I freaked out that the doll was alive. Yet, after I discovered he was a murder...the normal "Good Guy" doll scared me even more. Somehow, I could see the pure evil that sat behind those huge blue eyes. I started giggling at evil Chucky, but had a heart attack whenever "Good Guy" Chucky was on screen. I would close my eyes and still have those piercing blue plastic balls staring back at me. I couldn't escape them. I would go to school and see those eyes everywhere I went. Such a trivial movie now that I watch it now, but it still gives me the creeps when I'm not concentrating on it.
One of my more, strange fears, was the Alice Cooper album From the Inside. I was maybe 9 or 10 when I heard it for the first time. Cooper stayed in an asylum for alcoholism and wrote songs about the people he encountered there. While I appreciate the album now, one of the scariest things for me to listen to was his song "Millie and Billie". The music is very sweet and broadway sounding, but the message behind it is absolutely terrifying. The first time I listened to it, I distinctly remember bobbing my head around to the tune while my dad laughed, it was until I heard the line "all sliced up and sealed tight in baggies / guess love makes you do funny things" that really got me. I stopped bobbing my head and stared ahead out the window. My dad looked down at me and asked what my problem was. I looked back up at him and said "Daddy, is this song about killing Millie's husband?" He had the most menacing laugh [at least it sounded like it after hearing this song] and he said "Yes, honey...love makes you do funny things". My dad loved to scare me, he thought it was great. I screamed bloody murder and ran away from him. I knew my Daddy loved me, and after hearing that song, I was convinced that love made you kill people. Note: my parents used to run the haunted hayride in our town around Halloween. (My dad would dress up like Jason Vorhees with a fake chainsaw and hop onto the tractor cart at the end and scare the people he knew. Usually, that included 5 year old me. I was so terrified once he had to sit down and take off his mask. He picked me off the ride and took me to a random spot to be a "baby zombie". I love my father, but I think he forgot how old I was sometimes...)So with all this talk of loving someone so much, you'd kill....I was afraid my father was going to kill me! It wasn't until my mother sat me down with my dad and explained to me that the song was about crazy people and my dad was perfectly sane. I breathed deep and finally relaxed.